St. Patrick's Day. For many, it is traditional to drink green beer, wear green clothes, drink more green beer, paint a shamrock on your face, imbibe still more green beer, and watch a parade. That is all fine, except for the green beer. Stay away from it at all costs.
The reality of the holiday can be bars overflowing with amateurs, sub-par over-boiled dinners, and (on one occasion) almost joining the Irish Navy. Oh and waking up the next morning fully clothed face down in a plastic green bowler hat. Not that I am speaking from experience. I've just heard stories. Allow me to present an alternative.
Stock your fridge with plenty of cold Guinness, invite your friends over, and make a great big boiled dinner. It's probably one of the easiest dinners you can make. There are recipes all over the Internerd. If you want to get a little fancy, arrange the cabbage, potatoes, and carrots so they look like a faded Irish flag. Make sure you use the pink corned beef, not the gray.
A word on Ireland. I have some friends from there and they love to make fun of the way we Americans pronounce "Eye-URR-Land". From what I can tell when I can actually understand them, the proper way to pronounce their country's name is "Irrland" or maybe even "Irlan". Basically if you start with an "Ir" and than just spit it out as fast as you can, you will pronounce it the way they claim it should be said. Now you know - one less thing for them to make fun of us for. You should probably take off those shamrock antennae by the way...
After you have all sated your hunger for beef and cabbage, it's time to really get down to business. Serve more Guinness. Perhaps even some Bushmills orJamesons. I like some shamrock-shaped sugar cookies at this point. Most importantly, put The Quiet Man into DVD your player.
As far as I'm concerned this is John Wayne's finest acting job ever. The supporting cast is great as well. Maureen O'Hara is absolutely stunning in it. It's a great movie and it should be watched every St. Patrick's Day. I will not argue about this. And since 2002, there's a great Collector's edition out (commemorating the film's fortieth anniversary), with the following bonus features:
Send everyone home happy. Have a nightcap for yourself. Go to bed and sleep the sleep of the righteous. Now that is the way to spend the holiday.
Of course am I doing any of that today? Sadly, no. I'm getting up early, going into New York City so I can stand and freeze my shamrocks off while watching the parade. Then I'll probably stand in line with friends for hours trying to get into an overcrowded pub. But I'm still staying away from the green beer.
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! --Matt Callahan