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Useless DVD Extras Treasure Hunt

The advent of DVDs has given movie buffs access to hours of deleted scenes, trailers, commentary and other fantastic "extra" material. But within these goodies lie shockingly useless additions -- little things that hold no relevance, yet they warrant inclusion on a major DVD release.

My free time has been ample lately, so I've had the opportunity to ponder these inane bonus nuggets. I've also had the opportunity to unearth the worst of these extras from my own DVD collection. Herein lie the half-assed results.

Disclaimer: Some of the following entries are unique in their uselessness, but many represent DVD bonus oddities that can be found on a slew of discs. Their inclusion serves as a beacon of digital incompetence for thousands of other titles.

The Abyss
The Abyss Oh yes, the menu system is very fancy (you access different elements of the DVD by weaving your way through an animated version of the movie's underwater oil rig), but the "Personnel Files" segment is nothing more than the stars' filmographies. Nearly every morsel of this information is available through the Internet Movie Database. So why is it here? Probably because they needed some actual content to justify those fancy shmancy animated menus. Now, I realize a lot of DVDs have variations on this same theme ("Talent Bios," "Filmmakers," "Gratuitous Credits that Make Creative Types Feel Good," etc.), but "The Abyss" is an egregious offender because the bios go on and on and on.
Aliens
Aliens The DVD's "Photo Gallery" has the right idea, but the execution blows. This 20th Anniversary edition of James Cameron's blast-em-all-to-hell sequel features behind the scenes shots and storyboard stills, but there's little to no context for these pictures. They're left hanging, which is a shame, because an audio commentary -- or even brief text descriptions -- would have made the Photo Gallery pretty tootin' sweet.
Apollo 13
Apollo 13 Ever try reading a whole lot of text on a TV screen? It's not fun. Yet, the producers of the "Apollo 13" DVD thought people would enjoy screens and screens of "Production Notes." Wrong. Fortunately, the DVD makes up for this error with a nice "Making Of" featurette that covers a lot of the same information.
Bad Boys
Bad Boys The movie is a bombastic piece of guilty-pleasure crap, but I see no need for the inclusion of special "Music Videos" featuring artists on the soundtrack. If I want the soundtrack, I'll buy it. If I want to see music videos, I'll ... wait, I'm not 16, why would I want to see videos? Note: I waive my disdain for included videos when the videos have direct relevance to the film. Examples: "Spinal Tap," "The Wedding Singer," "School of Rock," "Beaches" (just seeing if you're awake).
Bull Durham
Bull Durham The DVD includes something called a "Sports Wrap." It's not a documentary. It's not a trailer. It seems to be an old TV news report mixing "Bull Durham" clips and anecdotes about minor league baseball, but there's nothing that definitively confirms this conclusion. What is this friggin' thing?
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon As far as I'm concerned, "Link to Website" does not qualify as a feature.
Elf
Elf The "Games" on the bonus DVD are the second most worthless extras I've seen (stay tuned for Worthless Extra No. 1). Basically, you use your DVD remote to engage in a series of contests (slide down a slippery slope, through snowballs, etc). Pretty dull, right? It gets worse. The DVD doesn't respond well to the button commands, so there's a clunky delay.
A Fish Called Wanda
A Fish Called Wanda The back of the DVD touts an "8-page booklet featuring trivia, production notes and a revealing look at the making of the film." All lovely features, but why are they in the brochure? I didn't buy a book!
Gladiator
Gladiator This two-disc set has a lot going for it (deleted scenes, excellent documentaries, etc.) but the inclusion of child star Spencer Treat Clark's "My Gladiator Journal" is, by far, the Worst Extra Ever. Why? Two reasons:
  1. As noted in the "Apollo 13" entry, reading text on a TV screen isn't fun.
  2. Why should I care what Spencer Treat Clark thinks? No offense to Clark -- I'm sure he's an affable kid with a lot of talent -- but I bought the "Gladiator" DVD for the film, not for the ramblings of a pre-teen.
However, there is something to be said for this journal's unintentional comedy. Consider this entry from March 19, 1999:
"Anyway, we were early for our flight so we went to the Virgin Atlantic lounge, which is the Japan Airlines lounge until they finish renovating the Virgin lounge ... Then in came a beautiful girl with long dark hair about my age, with a full entourage. She was going to London too, and sat in the row to the left of me. She is a (opera?) singer, who was performing in Vegas and doing TV interviews. Her name was Charlotte or something. All the British flight attendants knew who she was. All I know was that she was pretty ..."
Poor Spencer. Trapped in an airport lounge with Charlotte Church.
Out of Sight
Out of Sight There is no reason why, if I buy a DVD, I should have to sit through trailers to other movies or useless studio montages. I can see the thinking on rental copies, but if a person goes the extra mile to add a DVD to their collection, they should get the privilege of avoiding unnecessary marketing hoo-ha. If studios think it's cost prohibitive to press separate rental and collector versions, then do the right thing and give me the option of JUMPING TO THE MENU. Do not make me fast forward or, even worse, give me one of those "operation currently prohibited by disc" messages if I try to blow past a goddamn trailer for a goddamn movie I don't care about. Thank you.
Rounders
Rounders Rounders -- This disc includes my all-time Biggest DVD Pet Peeve*: "Additional Titles." The producers of the DVD have assumed that because I've purchased a movie put out by a particular studio (in this case, Miramax) I might also be very interested in other films put out by that exact same studio. For example, the "Additional Titles" included on the "Rounders" disc are: "Good Will Hunting," "Swingers," "Sling Blade," and ... wait for it ... "Supercop."

* In my mind, Pet Peeve is a different category than Worst Extra Ever. Now you know.

DVD Extras I Actually Like
One thing I can't stand is when critics tear the crap out of something without offering any examples of how it could be better. With that in mind, here's a list of common DVD features that I do enjoy:
  • Commentary tracks with the directors, writers and key stars.

  • Deleted scenes and Alternate Endings -- These are made even better when there's an option to view them with accompanying writer and director commentary. The "28 Days Later" DVD does an excellent job with this.

  • Outtakes and Blooper Reels: I can't help but crack up when people flub their lines. I even laugh when the bloopers are staged ("A Bug's Life").

  • Trailers: These are particularly useful when I'm watching an older film -- I like to see how old trailers compare to new ones.

  • Behind the Scenes Interviews: Making movies takes an enormous amount of time, effort and teamwork, so it's only fitting that the legions of artists, writers and craftsmen get a few moments in the sun.

  • Documentaries: Seeing the historical context of a film gives me a renewed appreciation for this medium. However, documentaries should only be tied to films that deserve it -- i.e. the "Star Wars" trilogy, the "Indiana Jones" films, etc. I don't want to see a three hour missive on "Biodome."

  • Creative Extensions of the Film: I know. "Creative Extensions" is pretty ambiguous. Nonetheless, the standard bearer for this category is the "Inside the Actor's Studio" spoof on the "Old School" DVD. This 20-minute extra is nearly as funny as the film and this is just the type of thing that can make a DVD a true collector's item.

  • Multi-Angle Sequences: When DVDs first came out, multi-angle viewing was touted as a killer application. Unfortunately, it requires work on the filmmaker's part to actually film multiple angles of a scene, so this feature isn't used as often as it should be. But dammit if it isn't interesting to see how shots are framed and how something as seemingly simple as camera placement can alter the feeling of a scene.

  • Screen Tests: This is another extra that needs to be included more often. For example, the original "Spider-Man" DVD vaulted to a higher level of coolness by offering Tobey Maguire's screen test. Sidenote: The "Star Wars" trilogy box set is great, but I wish the producers had scored the rights to the "Saturday Night Live" screen-test spoofs featuring Kevin Spacey.

    That's all I've got. Feel free to share your own Useless DVD Extras below.

Posted by Mac at December 19, 2004 11:56 AM | TrackBack
Comments

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