Rob's Top Five
Bad Hollywood Agents
by Rob Wright, contributing editor
Agents are a troublesome bunch. They can pretty much ruin a career. Bad advice, lack of ethics, and excessive greed are just some of the traits that can cause agents to doom their clients. We've seen this happen a lot in professional sports, but it's been happening a lot in Hollywood, too, with some of our most recognizable and beloved stars. Here's how I see it: the job of an actor's agent is to get the actor roles. The job of a movie star's agent is to keep the actor away from bad roles and bad movies at any—ANY—cost. Once an actor becomes an established movie star, it's the duty of his or her agent to preserve that status by sniffing out clunkers and shooting them down. Think of how much better history would remember Burt Reynolds if he had been kept away from paycheck films like "Cop-and-a-Half" and —yikes!—"Universal Soldier 3"? How much more respected would Sylvester Stallone be if his agent had protected him from "Rhinestone" or "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot"? Here's a list of five stars that should fire their agents immediately and sue for damages:
< 5 >
Cuba Gooding, Jr.
 |
|
© 2000 Fox
|
People sometimes laugh when I insist that Gooding is an excellent actor, but it's true. The guy has the skills, looks and screen presence of leading man; "Men of Honor," while an average movie, proves it (De Niro handpicked Gooding for the role, by the way, so Gooding's agent had little to do with that success). For those of you who thought Gooding's Oscar for "Jerry Maguire" was a generous gift from the Academy, remember that he won five other awards for that role, including the Screen Actor's Guild and the Chicago Film Critics Association. But besides those two films, Gooding too often found himself in ill-advised bombs and his talent is wasted in crap like "Chill Factor," "Instinct" or "Lightning Jack." And although he was only in it for a few scenes, "Pearl Harbor" is a blemish on his record.
< 4 >
Charlize Theron
 |
|
© 2000 Dreamworks
|
After busting on to the scene—literally—in 1996's "Pulp Fiction" rip-off "2 Days in the Valley," Theron honed her acting chops in "The Devil's Advocate" and "The Cider House Rules," displaying that she had true talent and was more than a pretty face. Apparently, her agent didn't notice. Theron has made too many terrible films recently, like "Sweet November", "Reindeer Games" and the worst movie of 1999, "The Astronaut's Wife." There were disappointing roles as well in the already-mentioned "Men of Honor" and "The Legend of Bagger Vance." Someone needs to replace Theron's agent before she becomes the next Julia Ormond.
< 3 >
Alec Baldwin
 |
|
© 2001 Touchstone
|
This guy could be so good. If you've ever seen his supporting work in "Looking for Richard" or "Glengarry Glen Ross," then you know Baldwin can act with the best of them. I must clarify that it's not his agent's fault that good movies like "The Edge" didn't get him the credit Baldwin deserved, or that Baldwin's ego sabotaged his chance at "Patriot Games" and other Jack Ryan roles after shining in "The Hunt For Red October." But his agent could at least keep him out of lame films like "The Juror," "Mercury Rising" (ditto for Bruce Willis' agent) and "The Shadow." Now Baldwin's reduced to doing children's movies and supporting roles in bad movies like "Outside Providence" and, again, "Pearl Harbor." At least Kim Basinger gets lead roles in bad movies.
< 2 >
John Travolta
 |
|
© 2001 Paramount
|
Don't give his agent credit for "Pulp Fiction"—that was all Tarantino. Look at Travolta's roster since then—remember we're discounting the "Look Who's Talking" debacle of the early 90s—and you'll see how far he's fallen. In fact, look at the last four films: "Domestic Disturbance," "Swordfish," "Lucky Numbers," and the abominable "Battlefield Earth." That last one leads me to the infamous "vanity project" rule, which is like the Super Bowl for agents. The rule dictates that agents must force their movie stars to watch "The Last Action Hero" and "Glitter" back to back when their clients want to make an overblown, narcissistic epic. Travolta's agent clearly forgot this one, allowed his client to embarrass himself in "Battlefield Earth," and lost the big game. If his agent hadn't fumbled, we'd be all be laughing at how bad Burt Reynolds looks in dreadlocks right now.
One last note: Throw in "Mad City," the worst movie of 1997 and a film for which I have such strong disdain, and you begin to forget the greatness of "Face/Off." Travolta may need yet another career comeback but he definitely needs new representation.
< 1 >
Eddie Murphy
 |
|
© 2001 Fox
|
His agent might be the most egregious offender in Hollywood history because Murphy could have been the best comedic actor ever. When you truly examine his body of work you see he's done mostly bad and mediocre films. True, "Trading Places," "48 Hours" and the immortal "Beverly Hills Cop" were great but without Axel Foley, Murphy might very well have ended up like Joe Piscopo. In the last 12 years, he's done two good movies—a witty dual role in "Bowfinger" and the virtuoso showing of "The Nutty Professor" which ranks as one of the all-time greatest comedic performances (the sequel was terrible and turned Murphy's lovable characters into annoying cartoons). Murphy deserved an Oscar nomination for "The Nutty Professor." Think I'm crazy, huh? Well, the National Society of Film Critics gave him the best actor award for 1996, so chew on that for a while. That's what kills me about Murphy. He is so damned talented, and it's going to waste. Remember that Murphy turned down "Ghostbusters." Remember that he did drivel like "The Distinguished Gentleman," "Vampire in Brooklyn" and "Holy Man," and paycheck films like the "Dr. Dolittle" movies. Remember he did his vanity project, "Harlem Nights," which bombed despite Richard Pryor and a great supporting cast. Remember Murphy soiled Axel Foley with two bad sequels, the worst of which was part III. Speaking of "Beverly Hills Cop III," Murphy once said during an interview that he agreed to do such a bad film because the studio threw a pile of money at him and he couldn't turn that down.
That's his agent talking.
|
