Zombies in the Workplace!

As you all know, Zombies rose up last night and are shambling rampant across the nation. Many are very successfully mobilizing a defense against this zombie uprising. In my area, we already have the problem under control; but, if you are still having some problems, you might want to check out this handy guide on how to survive a zombie attack.

Now that the danger has passed, I urge everyone to welcome the zombies!

Wha, Wha, What?!?

Heck, I know the zombies want to eat my brains and turn me into a zombie. But, the attack is under control and I suspect that the CDC will have the whole 'contagious' problem licked in a week or so. So, if we have a population of non-contagious zombies (that we haven't slaughtered by head-bashing), what do you do with them?

I say - put them to work!

Think about your workplace. How many of the people there could be replaced by zombies and not notice a decline in productivity? Think on these examples:

• Every person working on a Sarbanes-Oxley compliance document - probably already a zombie


• First level tech support - zombie


• Department of Motor Vehicles clerk - zombie

So, I am sure that you can see the vast stroke of luck that the zombie infestation has brought. Large segments of our workforce can retire, replaced by cheap zombie labor!

And, if the CDC doesn't lick the whole 'zombies are contagious' thing, there is another option. We have a food shortage in the third world. One proposed solution to the problem was Soylent Green, but everyone agrees that is it pretty distasteful to use humans for food. Remember "SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!"? No one wants another incident like that...

But, "SOYLENT GREEN IS ZOMBIES!"?

Not so distasteful now, eh?

We would probably have to change the color to prevent bad association to the human version, but, it could work.

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