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Lost Reviews and News

Lost Lines Contest: And the Winner Is ...

By DavidRH

The votes are in!

The Non-partisan Selection committee -- which turned out to be basically me and my dog, Brigit -- have tabulated the results of the Season Three, “Favorite Mac Funny Bloggerism Razzle Freakin' Dazzle Back Atcha Award."

It was a thrilling tabulation. In all, 31 individuals were nominated by their peers with a total of 159 individual responses. Thirteen of our regulars received six or more votes. They were, in no apparent order: ButchM, Clementine, Bunnylover, Cecil Rose, Joe Pike, Bcre8ve, Red ... Neck ... Man, davidrh, Crispy Seaplanes, RamsonJackson, Vacc, Fenway Ben, and Mac. (Honorary Mention to “Laffo” for being the subject of 14 different entries.)

If we were fair about this, I would have to admit that if it wasn’t for the original GREAT REVIEWS of our fearless leader, MAC, none of us would have anything to say, funny or otherwise. He is the CATALYST that lights our creative juices! HAIL MAC! He’s a “hail of a guy!”

Two of our number raced neck to neck for most of the tabulation, but in the end, ONE GLIB MIND rose to the surface like beans in a boiling pot.

So it is with great fanfare ...

(Tah-Daaaaaaaaaaah!! Tah-Daaaaaaah!!)

And stirring drumroll ...

(brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!)

That I make the following announcement:

Let it be known, that, as of this day, the blogger who wears the Season Four title of HE-WHO-IS-ALWAYS-LAST is none other that our hero:

RED ... NECK ... MAN!

I stand and salute greatness.

(Tumult and rejoicing is heard across the land ...)

Lost Blog lines contest winner

Pictured above is Davidrh (right) presenting the coveted HE-WHO-IS-ALWAYS-LAST award to Red ... Neck ... Man at ceremonies held in an elevator at the North Polk County Correctional Facility in Cohutta, Georgia, over the weekend. Standing in proxy for Red ... Neck ... Man, who was unable to attend, is Davidrh’s recently incarcerated twin brother, Darrell “Icepick” RH, who earlier last week had some minor cosmetic surgery in order to participate in a federal witness protection program. Thank you, "DarrellAnn."


Posted by Mac Slocum on June 19, 2007 9:06 AM |




DarrellAnn is Hot!

#1. Posted by: Neal Mindflood at June 19, 2007 10:22 AM

O Purleeese, Neal Mindflood! Get real! You're talking about my ugly brother here! . . .

It's just superficial alterations that's clouding your judgment!

#2. Posted by: davidrh at June 19, 2007 10:30 AM

Congrats Red!
Sorry meg--I'm first!

#3. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at June 19, 2007 11:20 AM

Oops--guess not!

#4. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at June 19, 2007 11:37 AM

RNM Rules! Congrats dude! Your comments always make me laugh out loud.

And thanks very much to the inventor, tabulator and co-judiciary instigator of the Lost Lines Contest, mr. davidrh, for fun times revisited.

Nothing like a framed certificate to make things official. Very well done, sir!

And may I add: "Good dog, Brigit!"

#5. Posted by: Clementine at June 19, 2007 11:40 AM

Davidrh--may I get the number of DarrellAnn's plastic surgeon! They do excellent work! It's not Doctor Doom-er Dr. Christian is it? (Actually, might I suggest you get an appointment with the old doc as well?) ;)

#6. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at June 19, 2007 11:41 AM

(Actually, might I suggest you get an appointment with the old doc as well?) ;)
→ 6. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes


What? huh? . .

#7. Posted by: davidrh at June 19, 2007 11:48 AM

You're a fine looking gent and all--but if you could look as hot as your "sister"......Why not!

#8. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at June 19, 2007 12:07 PM

good job i guess! i dont no what everyones talking about though i didnt feel like reading what its about

#9. Posted by: charlies dead? ? ? at June 19, 2007 2:04 PM

good job i guess! i dont no what everyones talking about though i didnt feel like reading what its about

#10. Posted by: charlies dead? ? ? at June 19, 2007 2:04 PM

HOLD THE PRESSES! We may have another contender for laffo...

"good job i guess! i dont no what everyones talking about though i didnt feel like reading what its about

→ 10. Posted by: charlies dead? ? ? at June 19, 2007 02:04 PM "

We should give this guy laffo's email so they can have some conversations together that might make sense to them...

Anyways...
Great job with all this davidrh! And a whole hearted congratulations to RNM. I feel honored to be in your company. Can I be "Always next-to-last" ??

#11. Posted by: BunnyLover at June 19, 2007 2:27 PM


I admit, I've been holding back since I read Charliesdead #'s 9&10 . . . It seemed just WAY TOO EASY . . .

(It's becoming obvious that, as long as there is a LOST BLOG, there will be "visions of Laffo dancing in our heads . . "

And about that "Always-next-to-last" thing? It should be apparent by now, honorary titles like that aren't just given away . .

You have to earrrrrrnnn them . . .

(Name that commercial and actor, trivia mogels.)


However, "Somewhere-in-the-middle" is always up for grabs! :-)

#12. Posted by: davidrh at June 19, 2007 2:56 PM

John Houseman--Smith Barney brokerage

Always next to last??????

#13. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at June 19, 2007 3:10 PM

Very good #13. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes. Talk about "jumping in with both feet!" - I even felt the surge of deliberate, forceful typing in that answer.

Problem is: If we assign every spot in the blog there just won't be any room for . . well, folks like Laffo to add a smile to our day . . .


and then . . there's still that "plastic surgeon" crack from earlier today . . . hmmmmmmmm . .

Unless mac rules otherwise, I think there's ONLY "first" and "last" . . and now they're both taken.


ofcourse you could talk to "Icepick" about a "solution" . . .


I know nuttin. Outta here.

#14. Posted by: davidrh at June 19, 2007 3:27 PM

@2 davidrh said:

>O Purleeese, Neal Mindflood! Get real! You're talking about my ugly brother here! . . .

>It's just superficial alterations that's clouding your judgment!

Yes. *Two* superficial alterations to be precise.

#15. Posted by: Cecil Rose at June 19, 2007 4:44 PM

Okay guys, I need help. I just googled Laffo.

#16. Posted by: meg at June 19, 2007 5:16 PM

@davidrh - great job! Question - how is it that you are so much younger looking than your twin brother?

RNM's certificate is in the way on the picture, so I assume your chest is the same size as your brothers?

@Red Neck Man - way to go, dude! Good job! Congrats! Whoop-de-doo! You da man! You done won! Job well done! You really had some great zingers this season! You be deserving! Kudos!


But all of that aside RNM, I'm kinda glad that davidrh put his twin brother's picture in rather than yours (I'm sure you whole-heartedly agree with me, huh jugs? Oops, got sidetracked there for a second).

To ALL of the other entrants - way to go on a job well done. Let's face it - we all cracked each other up this season, and I hope we can do the same next year.


@Bunnylover - HOLD THE PRESSES! We may have another contender for laffo...

Great, great line - the poor dude, if he read your comment, has to be wondering what the hell is going on.


Hey everyone, it's been a great ride and a real honor. Bless all of you, and let's hope we can all be a part of mac's blog next season.


Uh ... what was the name of the show we are blogging about again? Oh right - LOST!

Lost without all of YOU!!!!!!

#17. Posted by: ButchM at June 19, 2007 8:37 PM

"we're still gonna need a bigger boat"

#18. Posted by: thinng at June 20, 2007 12:52 AM

Way to go Red neck Man! Thanks for contributing to this site in such a fun and clever way. always love your entries...
GG

#19. Posted by: GatorGal at June 20, 2007 9:43 AM

ATTENTION: RED . . NECK . . MAN!!!!!

Obviously from your absence from this comment section so far I can only assume that you are so overcome by emotion at this prestigious award that you have curled up in a fetal position in some corner of your fax room sobbing with joy, overcome by all the love and good wishes coming your way from your friends and blog colleagues . . .

I can certainly understand how emotional a moment like this can be to one as complex, yet sensitive and caring, as you have demonstrated over the many past months . . . We’ve all been touched by your unique, heartfelt, and tactful words . .

Quote: “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” UnQuote.


OR

You’re on vacation.

So, anyway, when you get home, click on my name at the bottom of this comment and that will bring up my website. Email me your address (which I promise to keep a secret) and I will send out your lovely framed award so that it may find a place of honor in your home or office . . .

(or you could throw away the paper and use the $4.99 frame for something important like a picture of me and DarrellAnn at your award ceremony . . . It was very nice, by the way. We had a nice crowd of seven deputies in the elevator and the photographer, of course. No cake . . but there was a nice serving of oatmeal at breakfast . . . I understand it was the same brand that is being served to Paris Hilton. That was certainly a treat! . . .)

Anyway, write soon. AND CONGRATULATIONS for earning the title of

SEASON FOUR HE-WHO-IS-ALWAYS-LAST!

This is a big deal, right?

#20. Posted by: davidrh at June 20, 2007 10:35 AM

@ everyone: Of course I've seen this! Of course I'm honored, tickled, and QUARANTINED...well, not that last one. I've just been drunk for the last 5 days and I really wanted to put some thought into my acceptance bloggy-thingy. Ya'll are great. And please don't tell me that I'm the only one who pops on this site still like 5 times a day, praying for new entries. Funny.

#21. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at June 20, 2007 11:04 AM

DarrellAnn is still hot.

#22. Posted by: Neal Mindflood at June 20, 2007 11:56 AM

@ RNM - you are not alone. I too am guilty of logging on and lurking multiple times throughout the day. I even write down the number of entries so I can tell if a new one has been added. I smile when I see the count change with even one new entry.

I gotta get a life...

You are also not alone in the drinking category... Cheers!!!

#23. Posted by: BunnyLover at June 20, 2007 11:58 AM

@16 Meg:
I'm sorry but I'm visual and when you said you googled Laffo I saw the result and all it said was

......."LIF".........

#24. Posted by: SamFin at June 20, 2007 12:18 PM

Please no googling Laffo. His genes must not be allowed to pass on to another generation.

#25. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at June 20, 2007 12:24 PM

RNM,

I would be honored to merely touch your scarf. Bless you, bless you. May the tan on your nape never fade.

Now sober up and plant big wet smoochies all over DarrellAnn as you accept your well-deserved accolades that we may live vicariously through your spectacularness.

You crack me so consistently up. Mucho congrats hombre de cuello rojo.

#26. Posted by: ransomjackson at June 20, 2007 1:12 PM

Sorry Mr. Crispy but I couldn't help it. I didn't google Mr. Laffo but I did Dogpile him, it just seemed appropiate.
and would you believe they have a picture of him!

laffo*stumbleupon*com * = .

You might say I just stumbled upon him. Also by the looks of the picture he won't be trading scarves I mean genes with anyone soon.

#27. Posted by: SamFin at June 20, 2007 2:16 PM

Congratulations RNM. Although I was hoping Meg would get it so then she'd be MILF (Meg is last & first).

#28. Posted by: Big Toe at June 20, 2007 3:09 PM

Wow, that's exactly how I always pictured laffo in my mind! It's amazing how well you can know a person from a few random comments.

He sure is colorful! Surprising, that we didn't notice him on screen when he played an extra. I bet the Lost wardrobe and makeup crew had him in disguise, so as not to detract attention from the regular cast. He’s a show-stopper!

#29. Posted by: Clementine at June 20, 2007 3:10 PM

GOOD NEWS, EVERYBODY . .

I just heard from Red . . Neck . .Man, and his award will be in the mail within the next 24 hours! I just know that when he gets it, he'll be thrilled.

ON ANOTHER NOTE:

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!


Holy Cow, I just googled Mr. Laffo . . . and accompaning the picture is the following text . .

“Mr Laffo. Juggler with knives, clubs and balls, balloon modeling, unicyclist and fire eater. “

Man, I don’t think anyone should get their clubs and balls even close to this guy!!!!

But that's just MY personal opinion.


#30. Posted by: davidrh at June 20, 2007 3:26 PM

@21 Red...Neck...Man said:

>...Ya'll are great. And please don't tell me that I'm the only one who pops on this site still like 5 times a day, praying for new entries.

Only five?

By the way, folks, if you click on "Filmfodder Home" up there at the top of this blog, then scroll down and type your email address into the "Free Newsletter" block, mac will send you an email once a day detailing any new blogs that are posted anywhere on filmfodder with a convenient link to go straight to the blog. I've found it very convenient - it's not limited to "Lost" of course, but you get some other interesting news as well - that's where I first heard about the "Jericho" renewal, for instance.

Unfortunately it won't tell you when new entries are posted *within* a given blog, but maybe we could ask mac to look into that.

#31. Posted by: Cecil Rose at June 20, 2007 3:40 PM

Congrats RNM—You are more than deserving of the award! And thanks to davidrh for setting this up...lots of laughs were had by all.

@ButchM: You're not alone...I check in a few times a day as well. I need my daily Filmfodder LOST laugh!

#32. Posted by: Alaïs_Longthought at June 20, 2007 5:08 PM

#1 (Neal Mindflood) stole my comment. More DarrellAnn on the Lost Blog!

#33. Posted by: JFord at June 20, 2007 7:01 PM


FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!

Hey, I hate to break into my own blog section, but surely everybody has realized that Jimmy Smits brother on his upcoming fall show about a Cuban family, CANE, is the same actor who plays . .

Richard Alpert!

What's with that?


Oh wait . . a . . minute . .

Lost is on an island.
Cuba is an island.
Jacob DID look a little like Fidel Castro.


hmmmmmmmm.


I may be on to something here . . .

#34. Posted by: davidrh at June 21, 2007 1:04 AM

Congrats, RNM, you really do add a lot of laughter to my life. It's an honor just to be nominated in the same breath (grr must find way to take out RNM before next season...)

:)

#35. Posted by: FenwayBen at June 21, 2007 7:41 AM

Laffo - The Movie
------------------
Rather than post the link, just Google the words "Laffo" and "Mafia" and watch this tragic short film "Laffo: Wherein a Sad Clown is Interrogated by the Mafia" (No, it does not end with Journey music and a black screen)

If you get a "video not available" or "server busy" message, keep trying - it's worth the wait!!

#36. Posted by: vacc at June 21, 2007 9:42 AM

Just for the record, I don't condone violence toward clowns.

But the last line was classic.

#37. Posted by: Clementine at June 21, 2007 10:20 AM

I really must say that all the nice words of congratulations have been great. I have to admit that davidrh did a great job coming up with the idea, write-up, and monitorization of the proceedings. Thanks davidrh, and if/when I receive the award on my front door step, I will gladly take a picture of myself with it to be posted. Let's just hope I can find 'a brother' who has enough 'will' to 'join me' in the 'picture'. If that happens, will everyone here say in unison.....ANTP?!?!

I was inspired by many, frustrated by few, and made to double-over laughing by some of the comedy All-Stars. I'll name a few, but if I leave anyone out, I'll be sure to include them in my acceptance speech next year:

FenwayBen
davidrh
Cecil Rose
Crispy Seaplanes
ransomjackson
BunnyLover
GatorGal
ButchM
meg
Clementine
bcre8ve

and of course, mac.

I'm sure we'll all be checking in periodically. I'm sure I'll be posting a LOST Question soon. I'm sure I'll continue to brag to everyone I know about my award, which in turn will continue to result in them not giving a rats-ass.

There's only one last thing to say...

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

#38. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at June 21, 2007 10:42 AM

I nominate “Favorite Mac Funny Bloggerism Razzle Freakin' Dazzle Back Atcha Award" for "Longest Award Title of the Year"... ; )

#39. Posted by: Alaïs_Longthought at June 22, 2007 10:37 PM

Off topic...has anyone seen the previews for NBC's new show Journeyman that is supposed to air after Heroes this fall? It's about a guy who travels in time, but what really got me excited is it stars Kevin McKidd (aka Lucius Vorenos from Rome) .

#40. Posted by: FenwayBen at June 23, 2007 12:25 AM

@RNM/#38: Very gracious! And then “if I leave anyone out, I’ll be sure to include them in my acceptance speech next year” Whazzat??!! The gauntlet has been thrown! …tossed? ...defenestrated? ...what’s the expression?? Anyway, I felt the breeze as it hurtled past. I look forward to lots of laughs as you work on your repeat (and three-peat and quad-whatever-you-callit)!

@Fenway Ben/#40: I did not see the preview for Journeyman, but now I looked it up. Definitely has potential, and I will also tune in for the Rome factor. But I must say I had the same thought as someone on the IMDb message board: “I liked this show before when it was called Quantum Leap!” :) Although probably less cheese and more angst in this version. But with Heroes as a lead in, it should do well.

#41. Posted by: Clementine at June 25, 2007 9:34 PM

Man! forget about Kates panties. Darrellanne takes the cake.

#42. Posted by: katespanties at June 26, 2007 2:58 PM

Does that mean you want to take the cake and eat it too?

(I cannot believe I just typed that... please forgive me.)

#43. Posted by: BunnyLover at June 26, 2007 10:27 PM

@40 FenwayBen SAID:

>...has anyone seen the previews for NBC's new show Journeyman... stars Kevin McKidd (aka Lucius Vorenos from Rome).

Certainly did, and made plans to check it out accordingly. I've also seen a promo for a series that had (although I don't think in a starring role) William Mapother (aka Ethan Rom), though I totally failed to catch the name of the series.

And through three shows, I still find "John from Cincinnatti" entertaining, especially since three of the better character actors from "Deadwood" have shown up there - in quite different roles, though with equally colorful language.

#44. Posted by: Cecil Rose at July 2, 2007 9:01 AM

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