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October 29, 2006

Lost Caption: Sawyer Gets a Beat Down

In this week's edition of The Lost Caption, Sawyer gets the snot beat out of him while Kate offers a feeble defense (thanks Kate, big help).

Post your caption(s) through the comments mechanism at the bottom of the page:

Kate, Sawyer and Pickett in Every Man for Himself

Posted by Mac at 7:42 PM

October 26, 2006

Key Points from "Every Man for Himself"

Season 3, Episode 4
Episode Air Date: 10/25/06

Point 1
Sawyer

Kate

Ben

Pickett
Something about last week's episode didn't sit right with me, and I finally figured out what it was: The mythology was missing.

Don't get me wrong. There were aspects of last week's Locke-centric episode I enjoyed, and there was plenty of table-setting for something interesting to come, but the slack-jawed wonder I'm so accustomed to experiencing with this show wasn't there. We just didn't have that "WHOA!" moment.

But this week, the "Whoa" returns. The story returns to DharmaWorld, and as it does, the mystery of the Others, the Dharma Initiative and the island (or should that be plural? ...) comes back into focus.

So let's get to it!

As the episode opens, Kate and Sawyer are still stuck in their bear cages. Kate continues to wear the same sun dress, but the long day of manual labor we witnessed in "The Glass Ballerina" has left both Kate and the dress a little ripe. Sawyer also looks like hell, but that's mostly due to the beat-down he received at the hands of Danny Pickett and his merry band of Others in the same episode.

As a new day dawns, karma swoops down and hands Sawyer a gift. Sawyer and Kate watch as Others suddenly appear and scramble down a nearby path. The hub-bub is odd for the Others -- their creepy calm is their stock in trade. But on this occasion, panic is tangible.

And with good reason. Sawyer and Kate watch as Ben, Juliet, Zeke and a number of other Others (my spell check is gonna love that phrasing) emerge from the treeline carrying Colleen on a stretcher. Colleen, you'll recall, was last seen on the receiving end of Sun's gun in "The Glass Ballerina." Alas, the last few hours haven't been good ones for Colleen. As she and her Other cronies arrive back at Dharma Central, Colleen's life is dangling by a thread.

The Other crew haul Colleen between Kate and Sawyer's cages, and as they zip by, Sawyer can hardly contain his enthusiasm. Kate notices Sawyer's schadenfreude smirk and she seems stunned by his total lack of compassion. What Kate doesn't realize is that Sawyer has more than revenge on his mind.

Sawyer figures that Colleen's pain represents his gain. He correctly guesses that Colleen's sucking gut wound will distract the Others, which gives him time to lay a trap and stage an escape.

And it just so happens that he's already developed an exit strategy. With the Others safely out of view (but not out of sight -- remember, we've already learned that the Others are monitoring Sawyer and Kate through closed-circuit cameras), Sawyer takes this opportunity to tell Kate -- and us -- his Master Plan.

It goes something like this:

  1. Redirect the water hose in his bear cage, thereby forcing the water to pool in a nice deep puddle in the area just outside his cell.
  2. Wait for an unsuspecting Other to step into the puddle.
  3. Grab the Other -- preferably on an arm or neck or less meaty area -- and, in one swift motion, pound on his cell's reward button until the previously seen electric current arcs through Sawyer's flesh and, by extension, the flesh of the unsuspecting Other.
  4. Render the now-shocked Other useless and grab the Others' keys. (Bonus: Kick the Other while he/she is down.)
  5. Unlock the cell, bestow a smart-assed nickname on the Other victim, get sugar from Kate, run back to camp, live out the remainder of his days as a housewares salesman at S-Mart.

Like most of Sawyer's plans, there's a few grey areas with the Shock Scheme. The plan assumes that Sawyer will be able to both withstand the electric shock and recover faster than the Other victim (Sawyer tells Kate that his previous experience with the shock leads him to believe he can "take it"). Even if we give Sawyer the benefit of the doubt with the shock, there's still one massive assumption he's making -- and it's an assumption that has no basis in reality. Sawyer's plan requires the Others to act like complete morons. As we've discovered, idiocy isn't part of the Other oeuvre.

You can probably see where this is going.

Sometime later, Sawyer's eyes light up as he sees Ben approach his cage. The armed Others who typically flit through the background are nowhere to be seen. Sawyer can't believe his luck. He's seconds away from barbecuing the big dog!

Ben, dressed in white slacks and carrying the anal-retentive air of a 10th grade English teacher, doesn't bother with a greeting or other social formalities. Instead, he fires two random questions at Sawyer:

  1. How much does he weigh? (Sawyer, after crinkling his brow in confusion, eventually says he tips the scales at "180, give or take").
  2. How old is he? (Sawyer initially says 32, but when pressed on the issue admits he's 35).

As Sawyer answers Ben's random questions (perhaps confusing Ben Linus with Ben Stein), he sees Ben step into the puddle outside the bear cage. Ben rests his hand on the bars of the cage.

Sawyer snares Ben's hand and pins it against the bars! Moving with the dexterity of a 32-year-old, he spins and pounds the reward button on the other side of the cell.

SUCK IT BEN! ... SUCK IT! ... Uhh ... oh ... crap ...

Nothing happens! Ben was on to the plan from the start (damn those hidden cameras!) and he made sure the shocker was turned off before he ventured out for his visit.

Sawyer, confused, twists Ben's arm into the cell (for a second it looked like he broke it, but no such luck), but Ben is a sly Other and he cracks Sawyer across the face with a telescopic baton. Sawyer drops and Ben whips the cell door open.

For a little guy, Ben certainly knows how to kick ass. He blasts Sawyer with a series of well-placed shots across the back and abdomen and then, just as Sawyer collapses on the ground, he sends our burly con-man into unconsciousness with a swift kick across the chin. Sawyer goes down like Glass Joe.

Things get much worse when Sawyer wakes up. As he groggily comes-to, he hears the grumbling voice of Zeke telling someone that the Others' communication equipment has been screwy for the last two days, "ever since the sky turned purple." Sawyer hears all this, but he's in no state to join the conversation. As he opens his eyes he sees that he's been strapped to a long, metal table (it looks similar to the table in Jack's aquarium cell). Heavy leather restraints hold Sawyer's arms against the table.

Sawyer, wide-eyed and wigged out, scans the room and sees Zeke and Ben standing in the far corner. Two armed Other henchmen line opposite walls. Ben orders the henchmen to approach Sawyer, and both comply. One slaps a slick piece of bamboo between Sawyer's teeth -- "It's for the pain," Ben explains -- and the second Other produces a comically huge syringe (the needle on this thing is at least four inches long). Sawyer senses imminent pain ... and he's right. The Other with the needle raises the syringe and prepares to slam it into Sawyer's heart (this whole thing is a big homage to "Pulp Fiction"). In itself a four-inch needle is a frightening prospect, but when the guy holding the syringe seems unsure of his ability to "land" that syringe, the situation reaches horror-film heights.

WHACK! The syringe digs into Sawyer's chest!

Sawyer loses consciousness (again).

He wakes sometime later (judging by the timeline of this episode, he's out for maybe an hour or two). The restraints are still wrapped around Sawyer's arms and he's still pinned to the metal table. Ben is standing in the room, holding a metal cage that contains a fluffy white bunny (seriously ... this really happens). Ben steps over Sawyer and begins to vigorously shake the bunny cage, all the while shouting "C'mon, c'mon! We've gotta go! C'mon!"

The panic and confusion etched into Sawyer's face mimic our own. When did this become "A Clockwork Orange"?

Ben's cage-shaking grows violent. "C'MON! C'MON!" he screams at the bunny. The bunny twitches and moves around the cage (as it moves, we see that it has the number "8" painted/branded on its backside, begging the question: are bunnies 4, 15, 16, 23 and 42 back in the Dharma Hutch?). Sawyer's eyes bulge! The bunny's eyes bulge!

"C'MON C'MON C'MON!" Ben yells.

And that's when the bunny shuffles off its mortal coil, runs down the curtain and joins the choir invisible! It is ... an ex-bunny!

Sawyer is shocked. He might be a callous con-man who would steal an orphan's last nickel, but dammit, that was a bunny and killing bunnies just ain't right.

Ben looks at Sawyer with his placid evil glare (can anyone do "dead eye evil" better than Michael Emerson?). Sawyer's day is about to get so much worse.

He tells Sawyer that the bunny was implanted with a pacemaker, and when the bunny's heart rate reached a certain level (such as the 2.5 billion beats per minute it just experienced), the pacemaker stops and the bunny's heart explodes -- hence, dead bunny. And it just so happens that the exact same scenario has been cooked up for Sawyer. Using the weight and age information Sawyer provided earlier, Ben says the Others assembled a witch's brew for Sawyer's chest. Now, if Sawyer's heart-rate cracks 140, Sawyer's fate will mirror the bunny: his heart will pop in his chest cavity. Ew.

As Ben talks, he straps a heart-rate watch around Sawyer's wrist. The monitor, Ben says, will beep whenever Sawyer's heart rate gets within 15 clicks of 140. When that happens -- say, during an escape attempt or while looking at Kate's naked backside (sorry, getting ahead of myself) -- Sawyer needs to calm himself less his heart burst into bits.

But Ben's got one last bit of information to pass along -- and it's a kicker. He tells Sawyer that if Sawyer breathes a word of this pacemaker business to Kate, "we'll put one in her, too."

Oh you bastards. You deliciously evil bastards.

Sawyer drops his head against the metal table and sneers like a caged bobcat ... with a pacemaker planted in its chest.

Later in the day, the Others unstrap Sawyer and toss him back in his cage. Zeke props a bucket of soapy water in both cages and drops a bag of clothes near Kate's feet. (Sidenote: Zeke seems to have a soft spot for Katie -- he tells her that if any of the clothes don't fit, she should "give a holler" and Zeke'll come running). When Zeke and his Other drones leave, Kate blasts Sawyer with questions: Where were you? What did they do to you? Where'd you get that sweet watch?

With Ben's warning ringing in his ears, Sawyer deflects Kate's questions with non-answers ("Nowhere," "Nuthin'"). Seeing that her inquisition is useless, Kate opts to change out of the stanky dress she's been wearing for two days. She instructs Sawyer to turn around so she can disrobe.

Sawyer momentarily complies, but as Kate strips down in the background, Sawyer cocks his head and catches a glimpse of Kate's bare back.

Beep .... Beep ... Beep ...

Sawyer looks at the heart-rate watch. He just crossed 125. He looks back at Kate and continues to ogle her goods (there's a lot of Kate-ogling going on this season).

Beep ... Beep ... Beep ... As he stares, Sawyer imagines doing Very Bad Things ... BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP! He's gonna blow!

Kate hears the beeping and spins. Sawyer looks away. He grabs the nearby bucket of water and douses his head and face.

BEEP ... beep ....... beep ....... beep

His heart rate settles.

Later in the day -- after Kate has donned a far more practical outfit (she's finally wearing shoes) -- Kate tells Sawyer that she's been studying the layout of her cell and she believes she can squeeze herself through two bars in the roof. Sawyer, normally an enthusiastic supporter of escape attempts, tells Kate that escape is a stupid idea. He suggests they keep a low profile and "get the lay of the land." Kate suggests he stop being such a ninny.

Despite her protestations, Kate opts to couch the escape attempt ... for the moment. Shortly thereafter, an ear-piercing horn blasts a deep, guttural siren near Kate and Sawyer's cages. The two prisoners spin, trying to make sense of the alarm. Kate sees a group of Others rushing nearby. Kate's eyes pop as she sees a tall man in the center of the group wearing a blindfold/bag over his head.

"Jack!" she shouts. "Jack!"

Sawyer joins the chorus. "Doc! Doc!"

But Jack's hearing is dulled by the massive siren. At one point he turns his head in recognition, but before he can respond, the Others push him forward, out of range of Kate and Sawyer's cries.

The siren cuts and the prisoner area falls silent. But not for long. A few minutes later, Danny Pickett strides up to Sawyer's cage and unlocks the cell door. Pickett is churning with rage. To make it worse, Sawyer has no idea why Pickett is so pissed (we know, but we'll get to that in a minute).

Pickett throws Sawyer to the ground, then tosses him from the cell and slams him against Kate's cage.

BLAM! Pickett whips his fist across Sawyer's face.

"Do you love this guy?" Pickett snarls at Kate.

Pickett's random question and random act of violence confuse Kate. She doesn't answer.

BLAM! Another punch pierces Sawyer's mug.

"DO YOU LOVE HIM!?" Pickett screams.

Sawyer's watch begins to beep.

Tears form in Kate's eyes. She throws her arms through the bars and tries to cradle Sawyer.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! Pickett's fury intensifies. Sawyer's watch beeps faster.

"Do ... YOU ... LOVE ... HIM!" Pickett yells again.

Sensing that an answer is the only want to stop Pickett's March to the Sea, she shouts, "Yes! Yes I love him!"

Pickett steps back. His rage passes. He speaks to unseen Dharma drones and orders them to toss Sawyer back into his cell. Pickett walks off to grab a beer and watch the game at Alvar Hanso's Bar & Grill.

Kate is officially fed up. Jack's Abu Ghraib appearance coupled with Pickett's unexplained beat-down have convinced her it's time to blow this popstand. With squirrel-like skill, she shimmies up her cage, grasps onto the bars lining the roof, and POPS OUT THE TOP.

I need to pause a moment to discuss just how ridiculous this is. Kate doesn't struggle through the bars. She POPS THROUGH THEM. This isn't an escape, it's an exit. If she could do this so easily, why didn't she try it before?

Anyway, Kate zips out the top of the cage and climbs back to the ground. She grabs a rock and tries to break the lock on Sawyer's cage, but as she does Sawyer pleads with her to run. "Every man for himself," Sawyer snarls. "Run!"

Kate won't hear it. She slams the rock against the lock over and over, but the bolt holds.

Sawyer tries a different approach. "If you really love me," he says, looking into Kate's eyes, "Go."

Kate clamps her jaw. "I only said that so he'd stop hitting you," she says.

OH C'MON KATE! You don't have to tell him that! The guy's had his ass kicked twice in the last 10 hours and now you've gotta deliver the death blow?

Sawyer looks down and turns away. Kate drops the rock and steps into the dirt area between the two cells. She weighs her options: escape alone or return to her cell ...

Kate scrambles up her cage and slips back through the GAPING HOLE in the roof. As she lands within the cell, Sawyer barks: "Dammit freckles, it's every man for himself!"

Kate looks at Sawyer. Evangeline Lilly can't believe she's about to utter the dumbest line in series history.

"Live together, die alone," Kate says, referring to the title of the season two finale.

"Oh yeah?" Sawyer challenges, instigating an epic Episode Title battle. "Well, Everybody Hates Hugo! Ha!"

"House of the Rising Sun! Three Minutes!" Kate retorts

"White Rabbit! Lockdown! What ... Kate ... Did!" Sawyer shoots back.

Okay. Enough of that. You get the idea.

Let's now cleanse ourselves of this unfortunate scene with a little backstory ...

CUE BACKSTORY SWOOSH

Sawyer gets the backstory spotlight this week. Like other long-time characters, the historical milestones in Sawyer's life don't have the punch they once did (there are only so many "shocking coincidences" we can experience), but the "Lost" crew does unload one major curveball that no one expected.

In this week's backstory we see/learn:

  • When we first catch up with Sawyer, he's been incarcerated in prison for nine months. During this time, Sawyer has developed a social short-hand with fellow prisoners and a deep hatred for the corrupt warden.

  • Sawyer's incarceration came at the hands of Cassie, the woman he hoodwinked in "The Long Con." We'll have more on Cassie in a moment.

  • The backstory's primary storyline focuses on Sawyer's burgeoning relationship with a new convict, a man named Munson. Dubbed "Costanza" by Sawyer, the bald, pudgy Munson supposedly bilked the government of $10 million -- and scuttlebutt amongst the prisoners suggests the money remains at large.
  • Sawyer wastes no time telling Munson the warden is gunning for the missing $10 million. Sawyer lays out the whole plan: the warden will butter Munson up with protection and easy work duty, then he'll get cozy with Munson's wife and turn her against him. Lickety split, $10 million will soon be in the warden's bank account.

    Munson, suspicious of Sawyer's motivation, asks Sawyer why he's cluing him in to the warden's con. Sawyer convincingly says he hates the warden and would sooner die than watch his adversary swim in newfound riches. Munson buys the excuse. SUCKA!

  • Sometime later, Cassie pays Sawyer a visit in prison. It's the first time Sawyer's long-con target has dropped in, but Cassie certainly knows how to make a memorable visit. For starters, she comes to prison with her hair coiffed in her omni-present femullet and her body crammed into a revealing sundress (cleavage and prison: the perfect pair). Ahhh, but her "presented goods" are merely a prelude to the 5-ton, high-grade nuclear warhead she's about to unload.

    Cassie reaches into her purse and slides a picture of an infant across the table.

    Sawyer feigns confusion, but he knows exactly what he's just been shown.

    Sawyer, this is Clementine. This is your daughter.

    Sawyer explodes. He knows full well he is not father material, and he drives this point home to Cassie by diavowing any knowledge of Cassie or Clementine or anything to do with parenthood. He storms out of the vistor's room. Cassie responds with an unconscious flip of her femullet.

  • Shortly after the Clementine Incident, Munson seeks out Sawyer. He finds Sawyer curled up with the latest selection in Sawyer's Book Club -- "Of Mice and Men" (all this detail is relevant, so stick with me).

    Munson is distraught. His wife is turning against him, just as Sawyer warned, and Munson wants to take steps to protect his $10 million heist. He asks Sawyer for help "moving it," and at first Sawyer is reluctant. But Munson plays to Sawyer's hatred for the warden and Sawyer agrees to help.

    Munson. You're an idiot.

  • In the final backstory segment, Sawyer is escorted into the prison gymansium. The room is empty save for the warden and a platoon of treasury officers.

    Ladies and gentleman, please take your seats. The con is about to conclude.

    The lead treasury cop asks Sawyer where Munson's money is hidden. Without missing a beat, Sawyer spills the beans: "The $10 million is in a red bronco parked in a Stor-Quik facility in Sawgrass. Right off 441. Unit 23C. That's where your money is."

    The warden tells Sawyer that his cooperation just bought his freedom, and, as a bonus, Sawyer's going to land a "commision" from the $10 million. Sawyer instructs the treasury officer to put his cut into an untraceable savings account in Albuquerque, New Mexico under the name "Clementine Phillips."

    The treasury officer tosses Sawyer a "World's Best Dad" mug and with that, the backstory ends.

Returning to island events ...

In the closing moments of this episode, Ben pays an early-morning visit to Sawyer in his cell and invites our bloodied and beaten con-man out for a walk.

Of course, Ben's idea of a walk is a 5-mile hike over mountainous terrain, which is perfect for a guy who's heart rate needs to remain below 140. So Ben and Sawyer head into the hinterlands with two armed Dharma drones in tow. Toward the end of the journey, Ben -- ever the drama queen -- pauses to build Sawyer's anticipation. He tells Sawyer he brought him all this way because there's "something I want you to see."

Sawyer responds by quoting "Of Mice and Men" (See? I told you it'd be relevant): "Is it that little place you've always wanted, George?"

Ben doesn't recognize the quote. Sawyer relishes the opportunity to tweak Ben for his seemingly illiterate ways. "It's from 'Of Mice and Men,'" Sawyer smirks. "You'd like it. Puppies get killed."

Point, Sawyer!

Unfortunately, the victory is short-lived. This exchange takes place as the group hikes a particularly steep hill, and as Sawyer pants, his heart rate watch starts to beep. Sawyer touches his chest. He asks Ben if he's brought him into the hills to make his heart explode from the exertion.

And this is when Ben regains the upper hand. "Your heart's not going to blow up, James," Ben snarls. "The only thing we put inside you was doubt."

Sawyer is stunned.

But Ben has more surprises. He reaches into a bag slung across his shoulder and pulls out the dead bunny, which, judging by its twitching and blinking, has staged a dramatic resurrection. Ben tells Sawyer the bunny was sedated, not killed.

Ben turns to put the bunny back in his sack.

THWACK!

Sawyer lands a wicked hook across Ben's jaw. Ben spins, but holds his ground. A trickle of blood seeps from his mouth.

"The rabbit wasn't the thing I wanted to show you," Ben says, massaging his jaw.

Ben guides Sawyer to the crest of a nearby hill. As he looks out across the water, Sawyer's mouth drops.

The shot spins ... and there, not far off-shore ... IS ANOTHER ISLAND!

And it's not just a random island, it's The Island. Sawyer, Jack and Kate are prisoners on an adjacent land mass; they're not even on the same island as the other castaways!

Ben tells Sawyer that the island they're on -- the Others' island -- is roughly twice the size of Alcatraz. And like, Alcatraz, escape is futile: you'd have to be a champion swimmer to even think of crossing the gash of ocean between the two islands.

Sawyer is floored. He asks Ben if they orchestrated all this -- the work, the pacemaker, all of it -- just to keep him in a cage.

"We did all this because the only way to gain a con man's respect is to con him," Ben says. "You're pretty good, Sawyer ... we're a lot better."

And at this point, Ben suddenly morphs into Dr. Phil (it's a credit to Michael Emerson that this next bit doesn't come across as complete nonsense). Ben points out that it wasn't the pacemaker that kept Sawyer in line, it was the threat toward Kate. Drawing upon previously unknown reservoirs of relationship training, Dr. Ben tells Sawyer that his attempts at making Kate believe he doesn't need her are clearly an attempt to veil his own deep feelings.

"A guy goes nuts if he ain't got nobody," Ben says.

Sawyer is confused by Ben's sudden regression into Twain-like vocabulary.

"It don't make no difference who the guy is, long as he's with you" Ben continues, summoning his best summer stock inflection. "I tell you ... I tell you a guy gets too lonely and he gets sick."

"What the hell you talking about?" Sawyer growls.

Ben juts his chin toward Sawyer. He was hoping he'd ask that.

"It's from 'Of Mice and Men'," Ben says, brimming with self-righteousness. "Don't you read?"

Sawyer drops his head.

Point, Ben!

And with that, Sawyer's plotline ends.

Point 2
Jack

Juliet

Ben

Colleen

Tom

For the first time in ages, Jack doesn't act like an asshole. We finally catch a glimpse of the confident leader we saw way back in Season 1. Thank God. Whiny Jack is a bore.

Of course, it takes a while before Jack returns to his former self. There's a slow build-up throughout the episode toward Jack's triumphant return.

Here's how it plays out:

The episode opens with Jack diligently obeying Juliet's instructions. She knocks, he sits against the wall of his aquarium cell, she comes in with food, they both revel in their underlying attraction, blah, blah, blah.

But on this particular day, Jack feels a little saucy, so he opts to challenge Juliet's standing in the Other community. Jack wants to know why he's holed up in this cell, and if Juliet can't give him answers, he wants to talk to Ben.

Nice move, Jack!

The mention of Ben's name momentarily stuns Juliet. Jack sees the chink in her armor, so he aims right for it.

"Should I talk to Benjamin? 'Cause I'm starting to think you're just the person who brings me my food," Jack says.

Ohhhhh, Juliet is pissed now!

Juliet composes herself. She tells Jack he can talk to Ben as much as he likes, but Ben won't tell him anything.

Jack doesn't back down. "You work for him," Jack says, digging the dagger deeper.

Juliet bristles at the notion that Ben is her boss. She tells Jack it doesn't "work that way ... we make decisions together."

And here's where Jack starts to get his mojo back.

Summoning all of his smarmy skill, Jack notes that when he was gouging a shard of broken plate into Juliet's jugular, Ben seemed all too happy to let her die. "It felt like he made that decision on his own," Jack says, his eyes full of mock sincerity.

Juliet's face stays still, but her Impenetrable Wall of Calm has weakened. Fortunately for her, Ben suddenly appears at the door.

He marches in and says he needs Juliet immediately. Juliet, still smarting from Jack's comment, tries to exert power by tossing Ben off. But Ben's got no time for relationship nonsense.

"The sub is back," he says, leaning in so Jack can't hear. "We have a situation."

WHOA! WHAT? SUB?! The Others have a submarine?

Ben and Juliet race from the room and slam the door behind them. Jack momentarily morphs into an adolescent girl and rushes to the door to eavesdrop on the arguing adults.

Unfortunately, the door is three-inches thick, so Jack fails to learn anything more about this sub business. For the time being, he's forced to cool his heels in his aquarium cell.

During the middle portions of this episode, there are two moments when the storyline quickly shifts to Jack as he rests in the cell. Both moments are important.

In the first instance, the supposedly broken intercom near the door of Jack's cell crackles to life and, for a few seconds, Jack can hear the sound of a man struggling. The man is Sawyer, and the sound is him straining against the Others, trying to avoid the four-inch needle hovering above his chest. Jack listens intently, but the intercom cuts out.

In the second instance, the intercom sparks to life and Jack rushes to listen. Thanks to the glory of closed captioning, we know exactly what Jack hears:

Man's Voice: "... under control."

Second Man's Voice (I think): "Yeah? You know what he's doing to Karl? You know what he's doing? It was a mistake bringing those two here."

Jack's listening session is cut short by Juliet's entrance. She rushes into the adjacent room and approaches the Plexiglass divider. Jack sees that she's wearing a blood-stained hospital smock. He asks if that's Sawyer's blood (he recognized Sawyer's voice from the intercom), but Juliet says it's from a woman -- it's Colleen's -- and if Jack doesn't help, Colleen is gonna bite it.

Here's the weird thing about this scene: Jack has just been placed in a power position, but he doesn't take advantage of it. Juliet pleads with him to help and Jack doesn't even take a moment to consider the options. Why didn't he bargain? Why didn't make a demand, like, say, "release my friends"? I don't get it.

So, Jack agrees to help. His head is covered with a blindfold bag and he's led outside (this is when Kate and Sawyer see him). Juliet guides him toward a nearby medical station. Ben, Pickett and Zeke are all inside, and all three are shocked at Jack's unexpected entrance. Juliet tosses off their questions, insisting that Jack's expertise is needed to save Colleen.

With the blindfold off, Jack snaps into Doctor Mode. He's taken into a washroom and he instinctually scrubs his hands and arms in preparation for surgery. Juliet also scrubs up (it's becoming clear she's a doctor). As Jack washes, he spots a series of spinal x-rays on a nearby wall. Juliet beckons Jack toward the operating room, but Jack pauses to get a good long look at those x-rays.

Inside the OR, Jack takes command. He deftly clamps and positions and does his doctor stuff, all the while telling Juliet what to get and where to apply pressure. Their roles have been reversed: Jack's confidence soars as Juliet stumbles. She tells Jack she's not a surgeon. Having seen her in action, Jack is already aware of Juliet's skill set (or lack thereof).

Suddenly, Colleen's heart flatlines (maybe she needs a pacemaker ...). Jack calls for paddles, but Juliet says they're broken. "We've never had anything happen," she whines. Jack tries to pump Colleen's heart back to life, but his efforts are for naught (thankfully, Jack doesn't stage one of those "Live, damn you, live!" scenes; he simply pumps a few times then backs off). Jack strips his gloves. Colleen is toast.

In an observation room perched above the OR, Ben, Zeke and Pickett watch as Colleen's soul floats up to Dharma Heaven. Pickett (whom Colleen was involved with), goes apeshit. He wants blood ... and he soon gets it courtesy of Sawyer (Colleen's death catalyzes Pickett to beat the crap out of Sawyer in the "Do you love him?" scene).

In Pickett's mind, Colleen's death was a senseless tragedy, but for us, it's a vital event that leads to an important scene between Jack and Juliet.

At some point following Colleen's demise, the Others handcuffed Jack to the gurney holding Colleen's dead body (nice). Juliet eventually returns to the OR, and, for the first time, we get a long look behind her Impenetrable Wall of Calm. Colleen's death shook Juliet, and seeing Jack chained to the gurney inspires a moment of regret.

Juliet tells Jack that she's a fertility doctor (hence the medical training), and, as such, she's not used to being around death. Juliet feels guilty about Colleen's death, but Jack, still in Alpha Doctor mode, tells her there's nothing more that could have been done. Juliet mistakenly interprets this as Jack trying to make her feel better, but Jack makes it abundantly clear he has no concern about Juliet's feelings; he's just telling it like it is. (Lie. Jack digs her, especially now the he knows she's a fellow doctor and together they could breed lil' surgeons and fertility specialists).

Juliet calmly moves to remove Jack's handcuffs, but as she approaches, Jack grips her wrist. It's not a violent move, but it's not gentle, either.

And this, my friends, is one of Jack's finest moments.

Jack pierces Juliet's eyes. He tells her that the x-ray in the washroom shows the spine of a 40 year-old man.

"Whoever he is, he has a large tumor on his L-4 vertebrae," Jack pauses -- this is where it gets good! "And I just happen to be a spinal surgeon. So you tell me, Juliet, who am I here to save?"

YEAAAAAH! Jack's back baby!

Point 3
Desmond

Claire

Charlie

Hurley

Paulo
Desmond is going to freak a lot of people out in the coming episodes. Last week, he blew Hurley's mind with an off-hand mention of a future event (Locke's speech) and this week, he extends his Circle of Freakatude to Charlie and Claire.

Early in the episode, Desmond strides up to Claire as she sits in her tent with Aaron. Desmond, ever the gentleman, offers to repair the roof of Claire's tent. In itself this is a lovely gesture, but there's just one problem: There's nothing wrong with the roof. Charlie notices Desmond chatting up Claire, so he rushes over before Desmond woos her with his Scottish charm. Desmond reiterates his desire to fix Claire's roof, but he picks up on Charlie's "back-off" vibe so he calmly turns and leaves. Confused, Charlie and Claire give the roof a once-over, then peer back toward Desmond as he walks down the beach.

During his beach travels, Desmond encounters newbie castaway Paulo. We briefly encountered Paulo last week during the final moments of the episode and, for those unimpressed with his single line of dialog, I'm afraid there's little in this episode to suggest a future Emmy victory. When Desmond comes upon Paulo, he's launching limes into the ocean with a golf club. Lime after lime arcs high into the waves as Paulo refines his fruit-smacking skills. Desmond asks if he can borrow one of his clubs and Paulo instructs him to take the five-iron. Desmond grabs the club and happily skips back to camp.

Desmond spends the remainder of the episode constructing a tall tower. The structure is a mix of bamboo, wires and, at the very tip, a five-iron reaching into the sky. It looks like an antennae or ... a lighting rod.

Hurley spots the device and asks Desmond if he's building a piece of art (for a second I thought he said "piece of Artz," but that was wishful thinking on my part). Desmond responds by hopping up on a nearby table and instructing Hurley to wait a moment.

Thunder rumbles across the sky and torrential rain pummels the beach camp. Charlie and Claire take shelter beneath Claire's tent as rain drips across their faces. Desmond watches, his face etched into a preternatural grin. He knows what's coming.

CRACK! ZIZZZZZ!

A lighting bolt slams into Desmond's structure! The five-iron absorbs the current and the structure crumples to the sand.

Desmond smiles. Nearby, Charlie and Claire look on, officially freaked out by what they've just seen. Did Desmond just save them from a lighting strike?

Point 4
Island We'll close with a few questions and observations:
  • The revelation of the separate Other island clears up the ambiguity surrounding the Pala Ferry. Previously, we all worked under the assumption that the Others used the ferry to zip to their hidden location elsewhere on the castaways' island. But not so! The ferry took them to the Other island.

  • Speaking of Other watercraft, what's up with the submarine? Does the presence of a sub explain how Ethan was able to infiltrate and kill a castaway unnoticed (this happened in season one)? Could it also explain how the Others were able to board the sailboat in "The Glass Ballerina"?
  • Could the power line Sayid found in "Solitary" connect to a power source on the Other island?
  • At some point, the polar bears were kept on the Other island (hence the bear cages currently housing Kate and Sawyer), but why were the polar bears moved to the castaways' island? Did they go nutty? Did they eat all the Other children and steal their Tonka dumptrucks?
  • There has to be a connection between Juliet's expertise as a fertility doctor and the dearth of children in DharmaWorld.

  • I think the "Lost" crew is carefully developing Ben's "weakness." The indignation he reveals during the "Of Mice and Men" scene with Sawyer is part of an underlying character flaw that occasionally flares up in the presence of other men -- we've seen it with Sawyer and with Jack. It seems like an epic pissing match is brewing, and Ben may very well be the piss-ee rather than the piss-er.

That's it for now. Be sure to drop by our "Lost" Forum for stimulating conversation and conjecture.

Next Episode:
"The Cost of Living" -- Eko confronts his past (backstory alert!) while Locke hunts for clues in the Pearl station. Meanwhile, an Other rift puts Jack in a mental pickle. Airs: Wednesday, November 1, 9 p.m., ABC.




Review by Mac Slocum. All photos and episode descriptions © ABC Inc.


Posted by Mac at 1:40 PM

October 22, 2006

Lost Caption: Boone Takes Locke for a Spin

In this week's edition of The Lost Caption, Locke goes for a drug-fueled joyride with his old Padawan, Boone.

Post your caption(s) through the comments mechanism at the bottom of the page:

Locke and Boone in Further Instructions

Posted by Mac at 8:39 PM

October 19, 2006

Key Points from "Further Instructions"

Season 3, Episode 3
Episode Air Date: 10/18/06

Point 1
Locke

Charlie

Claire

Hurley

Eko

We'll begin by answering the big questions:

Question 1: Are Locke, Eko and Desmond alive?

Answer: Yes. Quite.

Question 2: Is the hatch destroyed?

Answer: If by "destroyed" you mean "imploded into a giant crater and completely void of use" then yes, the hatch is definitely destroyed.

Question 3: Is a bloodthirsty polar bear holding a former Nigerian drug lord captive in its Den of Polar Bear Evil?

Answer: Let's not get ahead of ourselves, mmkay?

With that out of the way, we can move on to this week's events.

"Further Instructions" is a Locke episode, which means we're in for another round of tragic backstory coupled with island mischief.

For much of this series, Locke has been the go-to guy for island mysticism and Obi-Wan-like wisdom, but season two was tough on our bald hero. His faith in the island was rocked to the core when he and Eko unearthed the Pearl monitoring station. Over on the personal side, Locke's once-close relationship with Charlie was left in tatters when Locke mistakenly thought Charlie had fallen off the heroin wagon. And, just to add a little paprika to Locke's Plate of Angst, Locke's final moment of season two was filled with massive doses of fright and guilt because it was Locke who destroyed the countdown computer and set in motion the eventual destruction of the hatch (and, potentially, the destruction of himself, Desmond, Eko, Charlie and the southern hemisphere).

Yeah. Tough times.

But those days are over! In this episode, Locke reclaims his title as BMOI.

So let's see how it happens ...

The episode opens with an eyeball (anyone else tired of this eyeball thing?). It's Locke's eyeball and, thankfully, it's open and still attached to his head. At this exact moment, it is now more than 24 hours after the hatch imploded, yet Locke is just gaining consciousness. He lifts his bald head off the jungle floor and scans the area. He hears rustling to his left and cranes to see who -- or what -- is running by.

It's Desmond! Desmond is alive! And ... he's naked!

No joke. It's less than 30 seconds into the episode and we watch as a nude Scot zips by. We'll return to Desmond in a bit, but for the time being, all you need to know is that Desmond is alive and he and his boys are running free.

Locke tries to call out to Naked Des, but nothing comes out. His voice is kaput -- not kaput in a laryngitis, "croaking-out-words" kinda way. Rather, Locke can't make any sound.

Desmond runs out of frame (thankfully, his bits and pieces are covered by strategically placed foliage) and Locke turns back to the task at hand: hauling his ass up. He slides his legs under his torso and slowly lifts his frame. He stretches and seems pleased, which makes sense since he's got a history of spontaneous paraplegia and it's always nice to see that his legs are in working order.

As Locke stretches, an odd noise emerges above.

woosh woOOSH WOOSH WOO0OSH

Locke looks up. He raises his arms in defense!

CRACK!

Eko's Jesus Stick bounces off Locke's forearms and lands nearby. Locke picks up the well-traveled club and momentarily ponders where its owner might be. Alas, Eko is nowhere in sight, so Locke heads back to the beach camp.

Locke emerges from the woods, bloody, stiff and mute. His appearance draws the attention of Claire and Charlie, who are sitting nearby tending to baby Aaron. Claire is rightfully shocked to see Locke, but Charlie has no reaction (he does, however, have an unfortunate new mullet). This placid-rocker routine seems to be par for the course for Charlie; he had the same dazed/uninterested expression when he first returned to the beach camp following the hatch implosion, and you'll recall that in the final moments of "Live Together, Die Alone" Charlie was far more interested in getting his groove on with Claire than figuring out what happened to the hatch and the men trapped inside it. Granted, grooving with Claire is a worthy pursuit, but you'd think there'd be just a titch of hatch curiosity on Chuckie's part.

Anyway, Claire and Charlie watch as Locke marches to his tent and starts ripping down poles and tarps. His movements are fluid and he doesn't appear angry, but his actions cause Claire to hint/ask/demand that Charlie find out what Locke is up to. Charlie's face remains blank, but inside he begins to wonder if this whole "Claire Thing" was a huge mistake.

Sometime later, Charlie finds Locke feverishly assembling an unidentified structure within the open frame of Our Lady of the Blessed Stick (the in-development church Eko and Charlie were/are building). Charlie sidles up to Locke and starts in with his "you don't call, you don't write" routine, which is the exact line he used on Eko at the end of season two (like Eko, Charlie needs a new shtick .. har har). Locke uses hand gestures to tell Charlie he can't speak and Charlie, being the snarky bastard he is, enjoys Locke's frustration. He asks Locke if Eko and Desmond are off "building structures and being mute as well." Locke resists the urge to gut Charlie like a seabass. Instead, he tries to communicate with Charlie by picking up sand and gesturing with his hands. Charlie correctly interprets that Locke wants to communicate with someone, but who does he need to talk to? Locke spins and points toward the trees.

"Trees!" Charlie exclaims. "Yes, I've heard they're wonderful conversationalists."

Locke takes a menacing step toward the smartass. Charlie backs down.

Locke tries again. He makes wide gestures and then curls his knife through the sand. Unwittingly, Locke and Charlie have entered into the least enjoyable game of charades in world history.

"Sky!" Charlie guesses.

"Church!"

"Very small rocks! ... A duck!"

"Island!"

BING!

Locke points and nods. Charlie figured it out: Locke needs to speak with the island.

And how, pray tell, is he going to do that?

This is when we learn the nature of Locke's haphazard construction project. He and Charlie go back to the beach camp and Locke uses a notepad and a Sharpie (procured from the local Staples, of course) to tell Charlie the makeshift structure is actually a mini sweat lodge. Locke also tells/asks Charlie to stand guard outside the lodge while he communes with the island. Oddly, Charlie agrees.

I need to pause a moment because I'm completely confused by Charlie. Who is this guy? Throughout the second half of season two, Charlie wanted nothing more than to feed Locke to a Dharma shark, yet here he is, helping Locke with his sweaty spirit journey. Hell, in this episode Charlie even tells Locke he hates him, but his hate clearly doesn't run too deep. Am I missing something here? Is Charlie's emotional vacillation a writing error? Is this an intentional character quirk? Has Locke wooed Charlie with a Jedi mind trick? Help me. I want to understand.

Moving on ...

"Twin Peaks" fans are going to love this next part.

So Locke works his Lockian voodoo on Charlie and gets him to stand guard outside the sweat lodge while Locke communes with the island. Locke takes off his shirt and sits in front of a roaring fire. He scoops his fingers into a bowl and digs out a big pile of tar-like goo. He slaps the goo in his mouth and swallows it down.

As the goo goes through the digestive motions, Locke sits back and stares at the fire.

Mr. Mojo Risin' ... Risin' ... Riiiisin' ...

A hand suddenly appears on Locke's shoulder. His eyes bulge as he turns and sees ...

Boone!

Shannon's Boone! Dead Boone!

It's at this point we realize Locke is in the early stages of a full-blown hallucination. The sweat and the goo and the fire have combined to form a wacky island "vision," and it just so happens that Boone is going to be Locke's guide during the hallucinatory process.

Boone looks good for a dead guy. He's grown his hair and he's filled out (the afterworld is teeming with personal trainers). Locke tries to croak out an apology to Boone, which is appropriate since the last time these two were together Boone was crushed by the innards of a Beechcraft drug plane and Locke played a key role in Boone being in that plane.

Locke's heartfelt apology is hampered by his inability to speak, but Boone is dead and everyone knows dead folks are fluent in "Mute Language" so Boone hears and, in a sarcastic way, accepts Locke's apology. "Ohhh, you're sorry," Boone says. "That's okay. I was a sacrifice the island demanded. Besides, Shannon showed up a few weeks ago and we've been humpin' like bunnies ever since."

Locke tries to continue the conversation with silent words (i.e. he flaps his lips, hoping Boone can understand), but Boone has no time for this bonding nonsense. He tells Locke that his ability to speak will come back "when you have something to say." In the interim, Boone says he's returned to help Locke find his way and "bring the family back together."

It's at this point the hallucination really kicks into gear. Locke moves to get up, but his legs are once again useless. Boone points toward the corner of the sweat lodge and Locke's face fills with dread as he spots his old wheelchair. "You're gonna need that," Boone says.

Light fills the screen and freaky noise spins through the sweat lodge. Suddenly, the light adjusts and we see that Locke and Boone are now in the Oceanic check-in area of the Sydney airport. It's the same location we've seen many times before: high ceilings, clean white displays, and lots of familiar faces going through the check-in process. Boone wheels Locke across the floor and tells him "someone in this airport is in serious danger, and you're the only one who can save them."

Locke, desperate, points to a group of nearby people. The shot cuts to Charlie, Claire and Aaron. Charlie happily plays with Aaron as Claire looks on.

"Not them," Boone says. "They'll be fine ... for a while."

Locke turns and sees Jin, Sun and Said standing in line at the Oceanic check-in counter. Jin and Sun are in the midst of a spat, but Sayid cuts it short by pointing out that they're holding up the line. Locke aims his finger at the three castaways, wondering if they're the ones who are in trouble.

"I think Sayid's got it," Boone says, referring to Sayid's ability to successfully guide Sun and Jin back to the beach camp.

Locke shifts his gaze and sees Hurley behind the check-in counter. He's wearing an Oceanic blazer and standing in front of an old monochrome computer (it's the hatch computer). Hurley types in the code -- 4 8 15 16 23 42 -- and in the background we hear the countdown clock go through its flip-flip-flip reset.

"Not Hurley," Boone says.

Boone turns the wheelchair and Locke watches as Desmond strides down a set of stairs. Des is doing well for himself -- he's dressed as a pilot and he's got a stewardess on each arm.

"Forget it," Boone says. "He's helping himself."

Boone guides Locke toward the security checkpoint and Locke sees Kate and Sawyer standing in line. Kate is well dressed and wearing make-up (gotta give her credit, she cleans up nice). She smiles at Sawyer as he talks to her.

Locke then sees Jack. He's sullen and sour (big surprise). A security guard moves his metal-detector wand over Jack, and the countdown clock alarm begins to sound (note: it's the supermarket checkout alarm, not the "oh-my-god-you're-gonna-miss-it" alarm). Locke looks at the security guard -- It's Ben (Henry Gale)! Locke gestures wildly, trying to warn Jack that he's getting the wand from a duplicitous Other!

"There's nothing you can do for them," Boone says. "Not yet. First you have to clean up your own mess."

In a flash, Boone suddenly appears at the top of a long set of stairs. He summons Locke to the top. Locke takes an escalator, and as he reaches the top step, he sees that his palm is covered in blood. He looks across the floor and sees Eko's Jesus stick. It, too, is caked in blood.

Locke looks up and sees Boone, tattered and streaked with blood. "You don't have much time, John."

SNAP! The hallucination ends! Locke blinks and sees he's returned to the sweat lodge. He moves to get up, but as he does a snarling image of a polar bear jumps toward him! Locke hurls himself from the sweat lodge and lands outside at Charlie's feet.

Locke realizes the hallucination is over. He moves to a pile of nearby clothes and plucks his knife off the top. As Locke gazes at the blade, Charlie apprehensively asks Locke what he's doing.

"I'm going to save Mr. Eko," Locke rasps.

Locke gears up and heads out and Charlie decides to tag along (again, why?). Locke tells Charlie that Eko has been captured by a polar bear, and so it's their job to track the polar bear and save Eko before he lands on the polar bear's grill.

Sidenote: It's a credit to the "Lost" crew that this polar bear business didn't degenerate into complete nonsense. As I'm writing this I can see how it could come across as a jump-the-shark moment, but within the context of the episode I didn't have any problem with a polar bear taking a large, powerful man hostage. But maybe that's just me ...

Back to the action ...

As Locke tracks the bear, he comes across Eko's discarded cross and a fresh pool of blood. Locke's Spidey Sense picks up oncoming dread, so Locke tells Charlie to go back to Claire. Charlie -- the moron -- says he'd prefer to stay.

Obi-Locke pierces Charlie with his eyes.

"You don't want to go with me, Charlie," Locke says. "Bad things happen to people who hang around with me."

CUE BACKSTORY SWOOSH!

Locke's backstory is undoubtedly the most tragic. It's also the only primary backstory that continues to contain a major question: how did Locke become paralyzed from the waist down?

Don't get excited. We still don't know.

This episode's backstory follows Locke in his post-Helen, post-Daddy period. He's cast off the bounds of society and found refuge at an agrarian compound. It's a place where shiny happy people pick fruit and till the soil and trade bootleg Phish tapes.

As the backstory opens, Locke is driving an old blue pickup truck down a rural road. He spots a hitchhiker on the side of the road and pulls over. The hitcher is a young man named Eddie. He's carrying a single duffle bag and wearing a ratty Geronimo Jackson t-shirt (Connection alert! Locke and a number of other castaways enjoyed Geronimo Jackson's unique musical stylings while relaxing in the hatch).

Locke takes to Eddie immediately, and when Eddie tells him that his mom is dead and his dad is a drunk, Locke turns down-right paternal toward the kid because Locke has daddy issues, too.

Moments after Eddie hops into Locke's truck, Locke is pulled over by a cop. The cop asks Locke and Eddie to step from the vehicle, and both comply. Locke is calm because he's got nothing to hide. Eddie seems jittery.

The cop glances at the bed of the truck and asks Locke what he's hauling.

"Groceries and guns," Locke says with a grin. The cop peels back a tarp and sees Locke wasn't kidding -- a selection of rifles and handguns is spread across the bedliner. Locke points toward a red notebook and tells the cop that all of the required gun paperwork is contained in the folder. The cop flips through the book. Seeing that he can't arrest Locke on weapons charges, he tries to ruffle his feathers for picking up a hitchhiker -- but Eddie steps in. He says Locke is his uncle and Eddie was simply waiting on the side of the road in a desolate location until his "uncle" came to pick him up. Locke looks at Eddie, but he doesn't say a word. The cop buys the story and lets the pair go.

The rest of the backstory deals with the burgeoning relationship between Locke and Eddie. We see that Eddie is Locke's first Padawan. Like Boone during season one, Eddie follows Locke around the compound and relies on him for guidance. And, just as he did with Boone, Locke relishes the opportunity to pass his knowledge on to a "son."

As the episode progresses, it becomes clear that illegal things are afoot at the commune. Eddie has noticed that one particular greenhouse seems to always be off-limits, and when he asks anyone about it, the friendly folk go out of their way to change the subject ("uh ... how 'bout an organic burrito!). After six weeks of poking and prodding, he finally tells Locke that he wants to know what's going on in the greenhouse. Eddie has watched as bag upon bag of fertilizer is loaded into the greenhouse, and he thinks he has a pretty good idea what's going on.

"I want in on whatever it is you're gonna blow up," he tells Locke.

Locke is momentarily confused, but the confusion quickly turns into hearty laughter. Locke takes a bite from a peach and tells Eddie he'll see about getting him access to the greenhouse.

Sometime later, Locke is walking through the compound and he sees frantic activity around the greenhouse. He goes in and finds the commune's husband-wife leaders (Mike and Jan) packing papers and stuffing cash into duffle bags.

As the camera swings around, it reveals hundreds of marijuana plants. The commune is ground-zero of Doobieville and, judging by Mike and Jan's hurried movements, it appears that a police raid is imminent.

Locke asks what's going on and Jan slaps a folder into Locke's chest. "You screwed up, John," Mike says.

Locke cracks the folder and gets some unfortunate news: Eddie is a cop, and he's been gathering evidence for the last six weeks.

This is just about the worst thing that could happen to Locke. In one fell swoop, he's been betrayed by his Padawan and he's losing his surrogate family. He's stuck in a mental pickle; he's desperate to stop yet another family from disintegrating. He tells Mike and Jan that Eddie hasn't seen the pot in the greenhouse, so there's still time to fix the situation. "Let me fix this," Locke says.

Locke can be a convincing guy, so Mike and Jan give him a shot at redemption. Later that day, he and Eddie head into the woods on a hunting expedition. As they walk deep into the forest, Locke stops and spins. Eddie turns his back and points his gun toward a far clump of foliage. He thinks Locke has spotted prey.

Eddie's right.

Locke raises his rifle and aims at Eddie. The young cop turns and stares in surprise.

At first, Eddie tries to maintain the ruse, but Locke grows angry and Eddie realizes the jig is up. Locke keeps the rifle aimed at Eddie's chest. Locke asks Eddie if he was intentionally singled out and Eddie confirms Locke's suspicion. The cops chose Locke because he was a relatively new member of the compound, he didn't have a criminal record and -- this is the kicker -- his psych profile suggested he'd be open to "coercion."

If you look carefully, you can see a fault-line open in Locke's soul.

Eddie starts to back away and Locke digs the rifle into his shoulder, aiming harder. Eddie knows Locke won't shoot him. "You're a good man," Eddie says as he slowly backs and turns, "you're a farmer."

This is not what Locke wants to hear. He fancies himself a hunter.

Locke's eyes well with tears as he grips the rifle tighter. Eddie walks out of frame ... Locke holds his finger over the trigger. Tears fall from his eyes. Locke doesn't fire.

"Goddamit. Why didn't anyone tell me I was a friggin' farmer?"

And with that, the backstory ends.

We now return to island events ...

Despite Locke's warning, Charlie chooses to continue on Locke's polar bear expedition. The two trudge into the deep dark Shire and Locke soon uncovers a gored boar with a small tuft of white bear hair lying nearby. Locke labels this an "active kill."

You don't know how right you are, John.

A deep growl roars nearby. Locke and Charlie run like the devil, darting through heavy foliage as a polar bear rumbles after them. The duo takes cover in a dense thicket of tall trees. For a moment, all is quiet, but the branches around the thicket start to sway as a massive creature approaches. Locke slings his hunting knife toward the attacker!

"UGH!"

That didn't sound like a bear ...

Locke and Charlie clear away the branches ... and that's when they see ...

A knife buried into the side of Hurley's canteen!

Hurley looks at Charlie and Locke. "Duuude"

The big man is back!

It's been a long trip for Hurley. When last we saw our intrepid lotto winner, he had just been released by the Others and given instructions to warn the Oceanic survivors that they must never, ever, trespass on the Others' side of the island. When Hurley runs into Locke's knife, it's been nearly two days since his release.

After settling down from the accidental knife attack, Hurley joins Locke and Charlie on their Eko adventure. As they walk, Hurley fills them in on the latest events: Jack, Kate and Sawyer were captured ... the Others don't want anyone touching their stuff ... and, oh yeah, Henry Gale is the Others' leader.

That last bit stops Locke in his tracks. He stares at Hurley as he digests the Gale nugget.

Hurley asks Locke what they should do and Locke tells Hurley to continue back to camp and pass along the Others' warning. With that, Hurley parts ways with Locke and Charlie (we'll have more on Hurley in a moment).

Locke and Charlie sally forth and as they walk, Charlie tells Locke that one of his favorite pastimes was getting loaded on smack and then watching nature shows on the BBC. During one such event, a drug-addled Charlie learned that polar bears are quite clever; they are "the Einsteins of the bear community," he tells Locke.

Thanks Charlie. Very helpful.

Locke and Charlie's expedition ends when they come upon a cave. This, Locke determines, is the polar bear's hangout. Locke covers his face and arms in mud and takes a can of hairspray out of his bag. Charlie, like the rest of us, is confused by the sudden introduction of Aqua Net.

Charlie stammers. "Uh, John, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but ..."

"It's not for me," Locke grins.

Locke fires up a torch and moves into the polar bear cave.

Farmer my ass!

As Locke goes deeper into the cave, the terrain becomes rocky and uneven. He takes slow tentative steps ...

CLUNK

Locke's foot hits a metal object. He stoops and picks up ... a Tonka dumptruck? What the? Have the noticeably absent island children been served up as bear sacrifices? Or, in a more interesting twist, has Locke just discovered the lost ruins of the Doozer civilization?

Alas, these questions remain unanswered. Locke quietly returns the dumptruck and continues his journey. Moving deeper into the cave (how deep is this thing?) Locke begins to see polar bear detritus: bones ... skulls ... more bones ... a 6'2" Nigerian man covered in blood ... a femur ... a tibia ...

WHOA WHOA WHOA! That's Eko!

Locke rushes toward Eko. The light from Locke's torch causes Eko to stir. He sees Locke and sputters his name. "John ..."

But before Eko can finish that thought, a massive roar rings through the cave and Eko is violently yanked behind a large rock. Locke pounces and grabs Eko's arms. Looking up, he sees the polar bear grabbing Eko's legs. In one swift motion, Locke snares the aerosol hairspray can and aims it at the torch. A massive fireball singes the bear!

The bear whimpers away. Locke grabs Eko under the arm and struggles toward the cave entrance.

Outside the cave, Charlie positions himself under Eko's other arm and he and John begin the long trek back to camp. The pair make slow progress (Eko is a big dude), but Locke's fireball appears to have kept the bear at bay for the time being so there's little threat of a bear attack. The group opts to rest by a stream. Charlie scampers off to get water while Locke sits next to the unconscious Eko.

Because Locke is a man and men seem to have an innate inability to hold honest conversations with conscious counterparts, Locke chooses this moment to apologize to the very unconscious Eko. Locke's apology is heartfelt -- he's sorry for losing his faith and he's sorry for locking Eko out of the hatch (thereby instigating the hatch implosion). Locke believes that had he allowed Eko to continue pushing the button, Locke could have protected Jack, Kate and Sawyer.

"You can still protect them," Eko says, gaining consciousness. "You can still save them. You will find them ... after all, you are a hunter, John."

Charlie emerges from the trees carrying a bottle of water. Locke shifts his gaze away from Eko and grabs the bottle, but when he turns back, Eko's eyes are closed.

He's unconscious. Locke, confused, pours a small stream of water near Eko's mouth. It dribbles down the creases of Eko's lips. He doesn't swallow.

Eko was unconscious the entire time ...

Locke freezes, unsure of what just happened. Fortunately, Charlie is there to snap him to attention: He suggests that they might want to get Eko back to camp so they can, you know, tend to those sucking chest wounds.

Locke agrees. He and Charlie reposition themselves under Eko and continue the journey.

Point 2
Kate

Desmond
Hurley's run-in with Locke and Charlie was only a brief part of Hurley's plotline. Something far more interesting happens to Hurley after he breaks off from Locke and Charlie.

On his way back to the beach camp, Hurley stumbles upon Desmond.

Des is still naked and, being such, he's concerned about marching back into the beach camp with his grapes dangling free. He asks Hurley for clothes, but Hurley is slow to respond -- he's too confused/distracted by Desmond's nakedness.

Desmond explains that he woke up in the jungle without his clothes -- the hatch implosion seems to have blown off his Dharma jumpsuit and his Dharma scivvies. Hurley begins to ask follow-up questions, but Desmond grows perturbed. He uncups his barely hidden goods and walks toward Hurley, asking him if he'd really like to the discuss the intricacies of hatch implosions at this particular moment. Hurley jumps back and reaches into his bag. He pulls out a ratty tye-dye t-shirt and tosses it to Des.

With the tye-dye properly covering his Lil' Highlander, Des and Hurley walk back to the beach camp. Along the way, Desmond tells Hurley about the hatch's final moments. Hurley connects the dots -- Desmond's activation of the hatch fail-safe caused the massive tremor and the purple sky witnessed at the end of "Live Together, Die Alone." It also caused the hatch to implode, which is something Hurley deems odd because if the hatch imploded and Desmond was in the hatch, shouldn't Desmond have imploded too? Hurley stops and looks at Desmond.

"You're not gonna turn into the Hulk or something?" Hurley asks, not realizing he's on the right track.

Desmond scoffs and the two continue their walk. Hurley, suddenly overwhelmed by all that's happened, tells Desmond that Jack, Kate and Sawyer all saw the same purple sky seconds before they had bags strapped over their heads by the Others. Hurley is clearly upset. Desmond tries to soothe his nerves.

"Don't worry," Desmond says. "Locke's gonna go after them. He said so in his speech."

Hurley's confused. I'm confused, too. What speech is that, Desmond?

Desmond looks at the ground. He shakes his head. "Right ... right of course," he says.

He walks off. Hurley looks after him, confused.

What the hell was that all about?

Moments later, Desmond and Hurley successfully make their way back to the beach camp. The two part ways -- Desmond heads to the shoreline to relax and toss rocks while Hurley returns to his tent. Sometime later, Locke and Charlie show up with Eko in tow. Their reappearance draws a crowd -- including two "new" characters, Nikki and Paulo (more on them in a second). Locke and Charlie settle Eko into a tent. Nikki, who at this point has been on-screen for five seconds but has already annoyed me, says they need to find Jack.

And that's when Hurley informs the assembled group that Jack, Kate and Sawyer have been taken by the Others. The group starts to panic, but Locke spins and calmly tells them that it is his job to find the missing castaways. "I don't know how yet, but I will," Locke says, his voice growing stronger. As he speaks, Hurley looks toward the shoreline and sees Desmond tossing rocks into the surf.

"We're going to find them, all of them, and then then we're going to bring them home," Locke says.

This is it! This is the speech Desmond mentioned!

As Locke shifts into leader mode -- instructing people to get bandages and water -- Charlie moves next to Hurley.

"Not a bad speech," Charlie says, impressed with Locke's carpe diem approach.

"Whoa," Hurley says. "I just got hit with ... deja vu."

Hurley stares at Desmond. Desmond continues throwing rocks into the waves.

And then it ends!

Point 3
Island

We'll close with a few observations and questions:
  • When Hurley meets up with Charlie and Locke, he learns from Charlie that Eko is in the clutches of a "bear." Charlie doesn't mention that it's a polar bear, but Hurley's reaction seems to go beyond the mere surprise of hearing that a bear has taken a human captive. Could it be that Hurley is making the connection between the polar bear in his old comic book (the one Walt read in season one) and the "bear" on the island?
  • Speaking of bears ... Charlie is surprised to hear that a second polar bear is on the island, which proves, yet again, that the castaways have major communication issues. You'll recall that Michael and Locke saved Walt from a polar bear in "Special." Now, you'd think that a bear attack would be a worthy conversation topic, but judging from Charlie's reaction to the polar bear revelation in this episode, he seems unaware of Walt's run-in. This is just the latest in a long line of "topics that should be discussed between characters, but aren't."
  • In the closing scenes, we're been led to believe that Desmond can see the future. If true, this opens up huge questions: How far into the future can he see? Are the things Desmond sees predestined, or can he and others change the future? Will he unite with Hiro and Peter in time to save New York from destruction? (Crap, wrong show).
  • We were introduced to two sorta-kinda new characters this week: Nikki (Kiele Sanchez) and Paulo (Rodrigo Santoro). I say "sorta-kinda" because these characters have technically been on the island the entire time -- they're two of those random people we often see in the background, but in season three they're being elevated to the main cast. The actors themselves are new, but Nikki and Paulo have suffered through the same trials and tribulations as the major characters.

That's it for now. Be sure to drop by our "Lost" Forum for stimulating conversation and conjecture.

Next Episode:
"Every Man for Himself" -- Kate and Sawyer's escape attempt brings out the worst in the Others. Meanwhile, Jack whips out his mad doctor skillz when an Other goes down. Airs: Wednesday, October 25, 9 p.m., ABC.




Review by Mac Slocum. All photos and episode descriptions © ABC Inc.


Posted by Mac at 12:48 PM

October 16, 2006

"Lost" Art: Buy the Hatch Painting

Lost Hatch Painting You know a show has hit the big-time when its props are sold as art.

Timothy Yarger Fine Art is selling copies of the "Hatch Painting" -- that post-modern mural sprayed on the wall of everyone's favorite Dharma den. For a mere $50, now you can have your very own clue-laden masterpiece.

If a poster knock-off offends your aesthetic sensibilities, you can pony up $1,200 for a signed/numbered 30" x 40" limited edition print.

The original Hatch Painting was likely compressed into a wee paint ball after Desmond activated the fail safe, so these prints are poised to skyrocket in value! -- Mac Slocum

Posted by Mac at 10:27 AM

Lost Caption: Jin Gets a Surprise

In this week's photo caption extravaganza, Jin gets a bald-headed surprise from above:

Post your own caption(s) through the comments mechanism at the bottom of the page:

Jin and Jae in The Glass Ballerina

Posted by Mac at 9:10 AM

October 12, 2006

Key Points from "The Glass Ballerina"

Season 3, Episode 2
Episode Air Date: 10/11/06

Point 1
Sun

Jin

Sayid

Well, now we know. Sun is a ho.

Granted, that's a tad harsh, but after watching this episode I can now say with no reservations that my initial impression of Jin has shifted a full 180 degrees. Remember way back in season one when Jin came across as a domineering asshole who watched over his sheepish wife like a blood-crazed wolf? Hell, in my very first "Lost" review I referred to Jin as Mr. Control Freak.

Now I know better. Jin, I'm sorry. I was wrong. We all were wrong.

But enough with my apologies. It's time to recap!

Most of the "Lost" conversation during the long summer months revolved around two groups: Jack, Sawyer and Kate (the Other captives) and Locke, Eko and Desmond (the hatch victims). But you'll recall that a third group also played a pivotal role in the season two finale: Sun, Jin and Sayid.

When we last saw the trio they had successfully sailed The Elizabeth (Desmond's sailboat) around the island as part of a planned sneak attack on the Others. But, like most Other-driven events, the plan didn't work out as intended. Sayid -- taking "an army of one" a bit too literally -- stormed the Others' beachside camp and discovered it was all an elaborate ruse. Left with little else to do, Sayid built a billowing bonfire to send a signal to Jack, Sawyer, Kate, Hurley and Benedict Michael.

Yeah, remember all that?

This episode begins with the same bonfire. Sun, Jin and Sayid are all sitting offshore on the sailboat, watching a great blast of black smoke arc high into the air. It's been more than a day since Sayid lit the bonfire, and Jin has wisely concluded that Jack and the crew aren't arriving anytime soon. Jin wants to pull up the anchor and take his wife -- sorry, pregnant wife -- back to the beach camp. Jin relays his wishes to Sun and Sun half-heartedly translates to Sayid. ... but, just as Sun appears to be on the verge of slipping back into her old beat-down persona, she tells Sayid that she will happily help him sail to another locale so he can light a second signal fire. Jin stirs in his anger and wishes he'd shacked up with that hot chick in the orange dress he ogled back in "... And Found."

So the sailing adventure continues (sadly, there are no additional three-ton Homer Simpson feet spotted on the shoreline) and the trio eventually drifts into view of the Pala Ferry dock (the same dock where the concluding events of season two occurred). Sayid scopes the area and determines that it's been abandoned for quite some time, which, in Sayid's estimation, means it's safe.

Unfortunately for Sun and Jin, Sayid is lying.

See, Sayid tells Sun and Jin that he believes a bigger, grander signal fire needs to be built because the first fire may have been obscured by shoreline mountains. It's a load of hooey, but Sayid is an excellent liar and Sun and Jin initially buy into his reasoning. But, you see, Sayid is actually concocting a new ambush plan. He plans to build a massive bonfire to attract the Others, and when they show up he'll launch an attack.

Yeah, great plan Sayid.

Sun is the first to catch wind of Sayid's lies. She notices that he's erecting a huge bonfire; one that rivals Homecoming Weekend. She asks Sayid about the size of the fire and he launches into his "we need to make sure Jack sees it" excuse. Sun cocks her head and asks Sayid why he's lying to her. Ahh, but Sayid isn't in the mood for debate!

"And what would you know of lying, Sun?" Sayid asks, stroking the whiskers in his handlebar mustache.

Yes, Sun, what would you know of lying?

CUE BACKSTORY SWOOSH!

In this episode's backstory segments we discover that Sun -- pretty, quiet, garden-loving Sun -- is a virtuoso liar. In fact, we see the genesis of Sun's lying in the very first backstory moment.

The backstory opens with a scene that travels back to Sun's childhood. We see little Sun at 8 or 9 years old, standing in an opulent room in her rich father's grandiose mansion. Sun is playing with a glass ballerina figurine -- a figurine that likely has a street value of $1.5 million.

SMASH!

The ballerina slams to the floor and cracks into a billion pieces. Little Sun looks on in horror, then turns and runs.

Sometime later, little Sun sits by herself at a piano. Her father enters the room carrying a plastic bag filled with the broken bones and toes of the glass ballerina. He asks Sun if she had anything to do with the ballerina's untimely demise. Sun considers the situation, analyzes the various outcomes and potential punishments, and then does what any self-respecting 9-year-old would do.

She blames the maid.

Her father's face pulses with anger. Sun's dad tells her that if this is the case -- if the maid really is to blame -- then the maid will need to be immediately fired. With this new information made abundantly clear, he again asks Sun if she broke the ballerina.

Sun blinks. We're led to believe she's about to unleash the full depths of her little girl cuteness and fess up to the ballerinacide. But that's not what happens at all.

"It was the maid," she repeats.

Daddy, angry that his little girl is a stone-cold liar, spins on his heel and marches from the room. Little Sun stands alone, happy to finally have that middling maid out of her hair.

This pattern of lying follows Sun throughout her life. For example, in additional backstory segments we see/learn:

  • As previously noted, Sun is a ho. I say this with vitriolic conviction because we are presented with clear and undeniable evidence that Sun cheated on Jin. Now, this is a somewhat significant development because in "The Whole Truth" we were led to believe that Sun had an affair with a rich hotel heir (Jae, aka "The Korean Kareem Abdul-Jabbar"), but we never knew if the duo consummated their relationship. Well, now we know because Sun wakes up butt-naked in bed with Jae, and it's not one of those soap-opera "we're naked but we're not lovers" moments (this happens to Sami Brady all the time). Nope. Sun and Jae definitely got it on.

    Since this is "Lost" and everyone's tragic backstory has to approach mythic levels, Sun's adultery doesn't end with mere guilt. Moments after waking up in bed with her lover, Sun is presented with a gift. Jae has opted to employ the Big Gift Approach as a way to pry Sun out of her marriage, but as Sun gazes upon a strand of pearls (street value: $1.6 million), Sun's guilt wells up and she tells Jae she can't accept the gift. Jin's blind loyalty only extends so far, and Sun wisely realizes that parading around the apartment with a fresh string of pearls is likely to raise Jin's suspicions. Jae protests, telling Sun that her English is now good enough to execute her long-planned escape. Moreover, Jae would like nothing more than to continue honing his own English skills with her in a hard-to-reach English-speaking country with liberal extradition laws.

    As Sun wonders how the phrase "English skills" became synonymous with "booty call," a hard knock sounds at the door. The pair have shacked up in the fancy-shmancy hotel Jae owns, and he's left instructions to not be disturbed while he's wooing his guilt-ridden lover. Jae, frazzled and angry, throws on a pair of pants just as the door swings open.

    Sun's father -- bloodthirsty Mr. Paik -- steps into the room. Jae immediately drops his angry demeanor; Mr. Paik is a bad, bad man and Jae knows he's in for a world of hurt.

    Sun's father rounds a corner and sees his daughter sitting up in bed, covering herself with a sheet. Sun drops her eyes. A puddle of shame forms on the floor below her. Mr. Paik orders Sun to get dressed and then huffs out of the room.

    Jae and Sun are officially screwed.

  • In normal families, the revelation of adultery would typically instigate therapy and/or divorce. But the Paik family prefers frontier justice.

    Mr. Paik calls Jin into his office. Jin, you'll recall, has become Mr. Paik's reluctant henchman. It's a simple deal: If Jin wants to be married to Sun, Jin needs to tend to Mr. Paik's dirty work.

    So Jin comes in and Mr. Paik, ever the sinister slickster, shows Jin a picture of Jae. Paik tells Jin that the man in the picture -- a man Paik doesn't call by name -- has "stolen" from him.

    Jin asks what he stole, but Paik ignores the question. After months of working under Paik's iron fist, Jin knows better than to press the issue. He tells Paik he'll "send a message," but this angers Paik. The man, Paik says, needs to be eliminated.

    Jin doesn't like this at all. In his time as an enforcer he's done his fair share of punching, kicking and hair pulling, but he's never killed anyone. Paik has officially crossed the line.

    Jin rises and says he must quit. He politely bows and prepares to leave, but Paik springs from his desk.

    Paik has one last trick up his sleeve.

    As Jin looks on, Paik tells Jin that when he married Sun he became Paik's "son." It's a big moment for the pair; Paik has never embraced Jin like this. Jin is momentarily suspicious, but paternal acceptance from his father-in-law keeps the suspicion from bubbling over. Jin quickly becomes receptive to Paik's overtures.

    With Jin caught in his web, Paik says the man who stole from him has dishonored the Paik family. And since Jin -- his "son" -- is now part of that dishonored family, it's his job to make sure honor is restored.

  • Jin comes home later that night. Sun is fidgety, but Jin's mind is wrapped in murderous thoughts so he doesn't notice the aura of guilt emanating from Sun's body. Their dinner conversation is tense:

    Sun: "How was work?"

    Jin: "Your dad is on my ass again."

    Sun: "You don't have to do this. We can leave! We can start a new life!"

    Jin: "Woman, that's crazy talk!"

    Jin rises. He has no time for fantasy banter. He grabs his jacket and tells Sun he needs to go deliver "a message."

    The scene cuts to Jin sitting in a UPS truck ... (just kidding).

  • After leaving Sun in the apartment, Jin travels to the fancy-shmancy hotel and tracks down Jae in an empty hallway on one of the hotel's top floors. Jae sees Jin approach, but he's helpless -- the hallway blocks any attempt at escape.

    Jin charges! He grabs Jae by the scruff of the neck and slams his big bald head into a door.

    The door gives way. Jin tosses Jae into the room, drawing blood with vicious hooks to Jae's face. Jin pushes his spindly adversary into the living room and Jae's head and torso crack through a glass coffee table. Jae is down for the count.

    Jin grabs Jae's barely-conscious form and shoves him against the couch. Jae, his head muffled by the pillow, croaks out an apology. "I'm sorry," he says over and over.

    Jin pushes the pillow hard against Jae's temple and cocks his gun. Jae's muffled weeping seeps from under the throw pillow.

    And that's when Jin remembers that he's not a murderer.

    With the pillow still shoved against Jae's head, Jin tells Jae that he needs to leave the country. He needs to "start a new life" (Jin's words, which, in a nice bit of writing parity, were also Jae's words during his naked interlude with Sun). Jin shoves his own head near the bloodied mug of Jae and then offers the obligatory "If I ever see you again ..." threat.

    With that, Jin leaves as Jae whimpers in the background.

    Jin makes his way down to the valet area outside the hotel's entrance. He's sweating and his suit is disheveled, but he seems content with his decision to let Jae live.

    Jin takes a seat behind the wheel of his car. An odd flapping is heard in the background.

    flap flap Flap Flap FLAP!

    Jin looks up.

    BLAM!

    A body slams into Jin's windshield!

    Jin jumps from his seat and gawks at the hood of his car. Some loon just did a swan dive from his hotel room! What kind of nut-ball would do ...

    Ohhhhh

    Jin recognizes the nut-ball on the hood. Jae jumped! Jae killed himself!

    As Jin surveys the situation, his eyes move toward Jae's hand. A string of pearls is wrapped around his fingers. Of course, this means nothing to Jin because he's not privy to Sun's infidelity and Jae's gift-giving habits, but to us it signals the conclusion of Sun's infidelity. It's also a cautionary tale for anyone considering a torrid affair with a Korean hotel heir: this is what happens, people. Now you know.

  • In a final backstory segment, Sun puts on her hottest grieving dress and sneaks off to Jae's funeral. It's a lavish affair, full of flowers and oversized murals depicting Jae's placid Kareem-like face. Sun, mindful of Affair Etiquette, stands away from the crowd in the area set aside for "Grieving Hookers & Secret Lovers."

    "You shouldn't be here," a man growls.

    Sun, spooked, whips around. It's her father, and he's come to the funeral to once again express his extreme disappointment in his daughter. He orders her to go back home to Jin and, presumably, to forget about all this affair business and accept her place as Jin's wife. Sun offers no resistance.

    With his message delivered, Mr. Paik turns to leave. Sun calls out to him. He stops and slowly turns. With tears welling in her eyes, Sun asks her father if he's going to tell Jin about her Secret Love.

    "It's not my place to tell," Mr. Paik says.

    He leaves and Sun revels in another victory. "First the maid, and now Jin! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

    And with that, the backstory ends.

We now return to Island Events.

Sayid's pointed question to Sun -- "And what would you know of lying?" -- seems like it's going to lead to a revelatory moment, but it really just dies on the spot. Sayid doesn't want to have a discussion; he wants to build a bonfire. So he asks Sun to continue lying to Jin about the purpose of the fire until he can get it built. After that, Sayid concludes, the die will have been cast and the truth can come out.

But yet again, Jin's language skills have been mistaken for retardation. Just because the guy doesn't speak English doesn't mean he's an idiot, people! He notices the massive size of the bonfire and immediately understands that Sayid is plotting an ambush. He charges toward Sayid and demands a gun. Sayid feigns confusion and asks Sun to translate Jin's request (nice try Sayid). Sun says Jin knows what's going on.

"He says he understands English better than I think he does," she says.

Jin's voice softens as he speaks to Sun. Sun's eyes drop.

"He knows I betrayed him," she says. (Is she referring to the bonfire or is there something more to this comment? And why would she bother translating this?)

Sayid has no interest in playing Dr. Phil. He grabs a gun tucked into his belt and hands it to Jin.

"Now, to use this weapon you need to ..."

CLICK! SNAP! CLICK!

In one motion Jin unloads the clip, reloads it and locks a bullet in the chamber. Sayid shuts his mouth.

Jin tells Sun to get back on the boat because, presumably, it'll be safer (presumably). Sayid agrees that Sun should take cover, but before Sun leaves Sayid tells her there's an extra gun hidden in a tarp in the cabin. Sun, trying to play the part of dutiful wife (a part that's not within her oeuvre), says that if she needs to use that gun, it means her husband is dead and she won't care anymore. Sure Sun. Tell that to Jae.

Night falls and Sun goes to the boat. She moves into the cabin and fires up the stove to make tea, but as she does she hears creaking from above. Yaaarg! The Others are storming the boat! She grabs the extra gun and hides. A blonde female Other (her name is Colleen; she appears to be the blonde woman who helped kidnap Walt) creeps into the cabin and looks around.

CLICK

Sun stands in a doorway with the gun pointed at Colleen. Colleen doesn't flinch. She calmly says she knows Sun isn't a killer. She also knows Sun's name, which is a surprise to Sun but not all that shocking to us because we've already witnessed the Others' uncanny research capabilities (e.g. Juliet's big "Jack Folder"). Colleen, in a measured voice, tells Sun that despite what she thinks -- and despite the fact that Colleen and five other armed Others just snuck onto her boat -- Colleen and her peeps are not the enemy. But, Colleen continues, if Sun plugs her full of holes, the Others will certainly become a formidable foe.

(Sidenote: Colleen is full of crap. If the Others aren't the enemy, why did they abduct a platoon of Tailies? Why did Ethan nearly kill Charlie and try to steal Claire's baby? Why did Eko have to kill two attacking Others? Colleen needs to get her facts straight.)

Sun keeps the gun aimed at Colleen.

Colleen approaches, content with the knowledge that Sun won't shoot.

BLAM!

Colleen's contentedness was ill advised. Sun drills a shot into Colleen's gut and she falls to the floor.

The gunshot sends the Others into a frenzy. A second Other pops into the cabin and takes a pot-shot at Sun, but she darts into the bow compartment.

On the shore, Sun and Sayid hear the gunshots and realize they've been duped (again!). The Others fire up the boat's small outboard motor and shove off from the Pala Ferry dock. Sayid and Jin give chase, but the Others blast the dock with gunfire and force Sayid and Jin to dive for cover.

In the bow compartment, Sun struggles to unlock a hatch as the boat motors away from the dock. She finally cracks the hatch and pops onto the deck. Quietly, she slides to the side of the boat, but as she does she's spotted by Zeke (or Tom, or whatever you want to call him). Zeke takes aim and fires, but the shot ricochets off the side of the boat. Sun grunts and slides overboard, crashing into the water as the boat pulls away.

Jin, thinking Sun is still on the boat, sprints down the dock and dives into the water. With Olympian speed, he swims toward the boat, but the engine kicks in and it sputters beyond his grasp. He pulls up and yelps. It's a scene reminiscent of Walt's abduction at the end of season one.

But this time, the captive escapes the Others' grasp. As Jin continues to yelp, Sun splashes nearby and returns his call (they're like dolphins, chattering against the night sky ... or whatever). The pair swim toward each other and embrace.

And in the briny depths below, a Dharma shark curses the meal it just ate. "Too bad, they look tasty."

Jin and Sun make their way back to the beach and they settle in near Sayid's massive bonfire (at least they'll be warm). Sayid takes this opportunity to apologize for endangering their lives in his wacky plan. He also says that next time Jin speaks up, he'll listen (it's about friggin' time). With his regrets expressed, he tells Sun and Jin to pack up ... they have a long walk back to camp.

Right. Good idea, Sayid. Sun and Jin just got out of the water, Sun is shivering, it's the middle of the night, and you decide that this is the best time to walk back to camp?

Point 2
Kate

Sawyer
Remember last week when Ben warned Kate that the next two weeks were going to be "unpleasant"?

He wasn't kidding.

As this episode begins, Sawyer and Kate are incarcerated in their bear cages. Sawyer has adapted quite nicely to his environment -- he's refined his "food" system and he can now produce fish biscuits and grain whenever he likes. In fact, Kate wakes up to the sound of Sawyer's food success ("Reward! Reward!") and for a brief moment, the two forget about their present predicament.

Unfortunately, a day of lounging and fish biscuits is not on the agenda. Shortly after Sawyer claims his food reward, a group of armed Others walks in and orders Sawyer and Kate out of their cages. The group's leader -- Danny Pickett (we finally learn the guy's first name) -- tosses a lunchbox at Sawyer and says he should keep the food handy because he's going to need the energy.

Sawyer and Kate are marched to a new location. The group enters a clearing where assorted Others are tilling soil and moving rocks (Is this a construction site? An agriculture project? Are they breaking ground on the long-awaited Others Children's Hospital?).

Danny turns to Sawyer and Kate and lays down the ground rules: No talking or you'll get shocked with Danny's shocker gadget. No unapproved breaks, or you'll get shocked. If you touch my stuff, you'll get shocked.

Kate, who's still wearing the sundress she was given in "A Tale of Two Cities," looks at Danny incredulously. Manual labor and hot dresses don't mix. Danny scoffs and tells her it's her choice: she can work in the dress or she can take it off. Drool collects on the sides of Sawyer's mouth.

Kate opts for a different anti-labor technique. She says she won't work until she sees Jack. Unfortunately, Danny has experience working with unions. He lunges at Sawyer and digs his shocker gadget into Sawyer's chest. Sawyer drops to the ground and convulses as the current slings through him. "That was only a quarter charge," Danny smirks as Kate looks at Sawyer's sputtering body.

Sawyer soon recovers from the shock incident and, because there's nothing else to do and nowhere else to go, he and Kate assume their place in the Dharma chain gang. They've been tasked with digging up rocks and moving them in a wheelbarrow. It's rough, back-breaking work, but Sawyer doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he revels in staring at Kate's almost-visible goods as she hacks away at the soil. Danny catches Sawyer mid-ogle and threatens him with the shocker. Sawyer reluctantly returns to work.

As Kate digs (and tries to keep her dress from riding up), a small pebble bounces toward her from the nearby treeline. She looks up and sees Alex crouching nearby (reminder: Alex is the teenage girl who helped Claire escape from Evil Ethan; she's also believed to be Rousseau's long-lost daughter). Alex warns Kate to keep working, and as Kate does, Alex asks if she and Sawyer are being held in the cages. Kate confirms Alex's suspicions, but before Kate can ask a question of her own, Alex asks if she's seen a teenaged boy named Carl. You'll recall that Kate never actually encountered Carl; he was hauled off by the Other brigade before Kate was tossed in the bear cage. Alex expresses concern (she and Carl appear to have a "thing" going), but her attention is diverted by the dress Kate is wearing. She tells Kate the dress was originally hers. "But you keep it," Alex says. "It looks better on you." And with that, Alex concludes what may have been the most useless exchange in the history of the show.

The day wears on and the work continues. Juliet arrives on-sight to discuss the excavation project with Danny. With his captors' attention diverted, Sawyer seizes the opportunity. He drops his wheelbarrow and marches toward Kate (big no-no). In one swift motion, he grabs the back of Kate's head and pulls her toward him. The two kiss with reckless abandon (really big no-no). The slurping and face sucking draw the Others' attention, prompting Danny and his Other guards to rush in to stop all this kissing business. Sawyer and Kate hear the footsteps approaching, but their tongue bath continues unabated.

CRACK!

The tongue bath ends when Danny slams the butt of his rifle into Sawyer's head. You'd think that would be the end of it, but Danny doesn't realize that Sawyer's skull is made of high-grade steel. Sawyer momentarily stumbles, but he quickly rises and cracks Danny across the jaw. Other guards rush in, and Sawyer does his best Bruce Lee impersonation, punching and pushing as a circle of attackers rush him. A chubby Other lunges with his own shocker gadget, but Sawyer blocks the advance and swings the shocker back toward the attacker's chest.

Click ... Click ...

Nothing happens. There's a safety on the shocker!

Sawyer hesitates. The chubby Other cracks a mighty blow across Sawyer's chin and he sprawls to the ground. But in a serendipitous turn, Sawyer lands near Danny's discarded rifle. He pops to his feet with the gun cocked. Taking aim, Sawyer tells the assembled damn dirty apes to keep their damn dirty paws off him.

"James, put the gun down."

Oh. Crap. It's a woman's voice. It's a calm voice.

Sawyer spins. Juliet is pointing a gun at Kate's head. Kate purses her lips in disdain (this is the second time she's been used to thwart an Other battle -- Zeke and his cronies pulled the same stunt back in "The Hunting Party").

Sawyer drops the gun. Danny shoves the shocker into Sawyer's chest and delivers a knock-out blow.

Later that night, Sawyer and Kate are tossed back into their bear cages. When the Others leave, Kate asks Sawyer why he pulled the kissing stunt. Sawyer, in his typical Sawyer way, tells Kate he just couldn't help himself; she looked mighty fine in that dress.

Kate scoffs. Sawyer can see she's not in a flirty mood, so he opts to reveal an underlying motivation for shoving his tongue down Kate's throat.

And this is why you've got to love Sawyer. Beyond wanting to get his groove on with Katie, he also kissed her so he could intentionally challenge the guards. He tells Kate that he discovered that two guards are fighters and one has martial arts training. The guards can be beaten, he says, but Juliet is the real threat. "She would have shot you, no problem," Sawyer says.

Kate's memory sparks at the mention of Juliet. She asks Sawyer why she called him "James."

Sawyer sighs.

"'Cause that's my name," he admits.

(Sidenote: Was I the only one who completely forgot that Sawyer never told Kate his real name? This was a jarring moment, especially since Sawyer's closest confidant is Kate ... but maybe that closeness is why he never told her.)

Sawyer decides to change the subject to something more pleasant.

"I noticed something else too," he says with a grin. "You taste like strawberries."

Kate cracks a smile.

"You taste like fish biscuits," she quips.

Kate pauses, then asks Sawyer what they're going to do now. Sawyer says they'll wait until the Others make a mistake. When they do, he says, chest puffed out and hand on his crotch, "we'll put them in their place."

It's a lovely idea, but "putting them in their place" requires a high degree of surprise ... and Sawyer doesn't realize that everything he's just said has been monitored.

As Sawyer talks, the shot cuts to a bank of old television screens. Sawyer's voice is heard through a speaker and as the shot pulls back, we see Ben sitting in front of the screens, watching Sawyer and Kate converse.

Point 3
Jack

Ben/Henry Gale

Juliet

Jack only had two scenes in this episode, but each contained vital Other information.

In an early segment, it seems that last week's event have broken Jack. He dutifully sits in the corner of his aquarium cell as Juliet comes in with a bowl of homemade soup. She sets the meal down without incident and then exits the room. Jack remains still.

Juliet walks down the outside hallway and knocks on a metal door. Ben opens it. He's both pleased and annoyed at her presence. Juliet is making headway with Jack, which appeals to Ben's diabolical side, but she's also forming a bond with Jack, and Ben's wounded heart has a problem with that.

Before the dynamics of the Juliet-Ben relationship can be played out, the pair are interrupted by the appearance of a female Other. It's Colleen (the Other gunned down by Sun later in the episode), and she's got breaking news. She tells Ben that Sayid, Sun and Jin have been spotted ... and they've got a sailboat.

Ben is stunned. He didn't realize the castaways had a boat. Juliet is pleased with Ben's surprise -- Mr. Know-it-All-Fancy-Pants isn't as slick as he thinks. Ben ignores Juliet and orders Colleen to dispatch a team to intercept the sailboat. If the boat isn't captured, there's a chance Sayid, Sun and Jin will stumble upon DharmaWorld.

"I want that boat," Ben growls.

Ben's demand sets off the chain of events that eventually leads to Colleen being shot and the Others stealing the sailboat.

For the majority of the episode, Ben and Jack are out of site. But then, at the very end of the show, Ben enters the aquarium cell and takes a seat opposite Jack. As this scene opened, I had no idea that I would soon be watching the Greatest "Lost" Scene Ever. (Note: Yankees fans might want to skip to the next bit ... SUCKAS!)

Ben sits down and notes the irony of their situation. Just a week ago, Ben was locked in the hatch armory and it was Jack who stopped by for little visits. Jack remains mute. He doesn't like irony.

Ben decides it's time to wipe the slate clean and start over with formal introductions. He rises from the chair and crouches next to Jack, who's sitting in the corner. Ben extends his hand.

"Hi. My name is Benjamin Linus, and I've lived on this island all my life."

WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. He's been there forever?

It's a jaw-dropping moment, but Jack, the bullheaded ass he is, doesn't pursue it. He stares straight ahead and refuses to shake Ben's hand.

Ben seems hurt (the more we see this guy, the clearer his emotional issues become). He curtly stands and calls out for an associate to "bring it in, please."

"It" is an old television and a VCR (the exact same A/V equipment stored in every high school in America). The Other associate rolls the TV up to the plexiglass partition.

Jack ignores the TV. He asks about Kate and Sawyer. Ben icily says "they're fine" and then refuses to divulge additional information. Jack's anger grows.

Ben turns and meets Jack's glare.

"I'm going to make this really simple, Jack," Ben says. "If you cooperate, we send you home."

Jack takes the bait. He asks what it is that he's supposed to "cooperate" with. Ben stonewalls and ambiguously says Jack's cooperation will be needed "when the time is right."

Jack turns his attention to Ben's previous comment; that bit about "home" piques his curiosity. He asks Ben if "home" is where he sent Walt and Michael.

"Yes," Ben says as though it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Jack laughs.

"If you could leave this island, why would you still be here?" Jack asks.

Ben answers with a question. "Yes, Jack, why would we be here?"

Jack snaps. He accuses Ben of lying. He says the Others are stuck on the island just like the Oceanic castaways.

Ben doesn't have time for Jack's hissy fit. He decides to counter Jack's argument with cold, hard facts. In a rapid-fire exchange, Ben says:

  • Oceanic 815 crashed on September 22, 2004.

  • Today is November 29, 2004. The castaways have been on the island for 69 days.

  • The Others have full contact with the outside world. This is how they know that during the 69 days Jack and his cronies have been on the island, the U.S. re-elected George W. Bush, Christopher Reeve died, and the Boston Red Sox won the World Series.
Jack laughs heartily. The Red Sox won the World Series? Now he knows Ben is lying.

Ben recaps the Red Sox' improbable post-season: The Sox were down three games to the Yankees and then came back to win four straight, and then they marched into the World Series and swept the Cardinals for the title.

Jack still doesn't buy it.

Ben points a remote control at the TV and the screen sparks to life. The scene that unfolds on the TV is forever etched into the memories of Red Sox fans.

Crowd noise booms from the television. Jack looks up. His face drops as he realizes he's watching a baseball game.

The scene cuts to the TV. It's the ninth inning of Game 4 of the 2004 World Series. Cardinals shortstop Edgar Renteria is at the plate. Sox closer Keith Foulke pitches.

Renteria grounds back to Foulke (I'm getting goosebumps remembering this).

Jack gets to his feet. He can't believe what he's seeing.

On the screen, Foulke jogs toward first base.

To quote long-time Sox broadcaster Joe Castiglione:

"Swing and a ground ball, stabbed by Foulke. He has it. He underhands to first ... AND THE BOSTON RED SOX ARE WORLD CHAMPIONS! For the first time in 86 years, the Red Sox have won baseball's world championship! Can you believe it!"

(Yes, I quoted that from memory and yes, I realize that's not what Joe Buck said in the Fox broadcast of the game. Thank you.)

Jack runs to the glass. Ben isn't lying.

Ben turns the TV off. Jack hangs his head. And this is when Ben offers Jack the deal of a lifetime.

"That's home, Jack. If you listen to me, if you trust me," Ben says. "If you do what I tell you when the time comes, I'll take you there. I will take you home."

Jack's eyes dart. It's a tempting offer. It's also the greatest moment in Boston sports history, but I'm guessing that's not what Jack is thinking about.

And that's when it ends!

Point 4
Island I'll close with a few random questions and observations:
  • As we progress deeper into DharmaWorld, we're starting to learn the names of some of the Others. The roster includes:

    • Ben Linus (aka Henry Gale)
    • Juliet
    • Adam (the unpleasant guy from the book club)
    • Colleen (the woman Sun shot)
    • Danny Pickett (the chain gang warden)
    • Alex (Kate's BFF)
    • Tom (aka Mr. Friendly, aka Zeke)
    • Carl (the kid from the bear cage)
    • Bea (aka Mrs. Klugh, the Ms. Cleo wannabe)
    • Brian (an unseen guy Colleen mentions)
    • Ethan Rom (killed by Charlie)
    • Goodwin (killed by Ana-Lucia)

    Did I miss any?

  • I wonder how much ABC had to shell out for that clip from the '04 World Series. As you know, that game could not be rebroadcast or retransmitted without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.

  • Speaking of baseball, the inclusion of the World Series footage taps into the connection between Jack and his father. Dr. Daddy used the phrase "And that's why the Red Sox will never win the World Series" when he first met Sawyer in a bar in Sydney ("Outlaws"). In the same episode, Jack's use of the same phrase allowed Sawyer to make the connection between the man he met in the Sydney bar (Jack's father) and Jack.

That's it for now. Be sure to drop by our "Lost" Forum for stimulating conversation and conjecture.

Next Episode:
"Further Instructions" -- We finally see if Locke, Eko and Desmond survived the hatch incident (gee, I wonder). Meanwhile, Claire stumbles upon two castaways getting jiggy in Jack's tent. Airs: Wednesday, October 18, 9 p.m., ABC.




Review by Mac Slocum. All photos and episode descriptions © ABC Inc.


Posted by Mac at 1:40 PM

October 8, 2006

Lost Blog: Submit Your "Lost" Photo Captions

In my research for "Lost" (yes, I do research), I often stumble upon "Lost" photos that are just dying for a snarky caption. Since this blog is frequented by its fair share of creative smartasses, I figured I'd open the fun up to everyone.

So, below you'll find the first entry in a semi-regular Lost Blog feature: "Lost" Captions. To participate, all you need to do is take a gander at the supplied photo, then post your caption in the comments area. That's all there is to it!

Here's our first entry:

Lost: Jack and Dr. Daddy Yell


Posted by Mac at 9:03 PM | TrackBack

October 5, 2006

Key Points from "A Tale of Two Cities"

Season 3, Episode 1
Episode Air Date: 10/04/06

Point 1
Juliet

Ben/Henry Gale

Well damn. I didn't see that coming!

Season three begins in a way you could never, ever imagine. Seriously. For the first three minutes I thought my TiVo dropped through a wormhole and started taping "Desperate Housewives." I actually checked the channel guide to make sure it was still on "Lost."

The episode begins with the "Lost" eyeball, which is the only thing in the first few minutes that offers any clue we're watching "Lost." Longtime viewers already know what this eyeball business is all about, but for the "Lost" newbies, the "Lost" eyeball is a shot the crew uses from time to time that offers an intimate look at ... well, an eyeball. The very first shot in the very first episode was of Jack's eyeball. The very first shot in the very first episode of season two was of Desmond's eyeball. And, because the "Lost" producers are suckers for tradition, season three opens with a deep, dark look into another eyeball.

The eye belongs to a new character: she's a pretty blonde woman (played by Elizabeth Mitchell) in her mid-30s, and when we first see her she's selecting a CD from a shelf in her home and loading it into her CD player. Immediately this suggests that she's not on the island because, until now, the only A/V equipment we've seen has been a circa 1980 turntable in the hatch and a row of ancient Trinitrons in the Pearl.

The woman presses play on the CD player and the opening notes of "Downtown" float through her living room. She looks at herself in the mirror. She's clearly carrying a burden -- her eyes glisten with forming tears -- but she shakes her head, blinks away the tears and turns that frown upside down.

Shortly thereafter the woman scurries around her home preparing for a gathering. A smoke alarm sounds and she rushes to the stove to tend to a tray of burning muffins. Alas, she's too late. The muffins have been lost (season three's first casualty!). Before the woman can grieve over her charred confections, the doorbell rings. The blonde woman greets an elegant older woman (you can tell she's elegant because she's wearing one of those "elegant older women scarves" around her neck). Both women glance to the side of the house where a man is fiddling with pipes. Elegant lady guffaws, asking the blonde woman if her plumbing still hasn't been fixed (I'm assuming this isn't a euphemism). The working man -- who is unseen save for his lower legs -- offers a muffled response: "It's a work in progress."

The scene cuts inside the house and the blonde woman and the elegant woman have been joined by five other people: three middle-aged men and two women. As far as I can tell we haven't seen any of the men before, but one of the women resembles Mrs. Klugh from "Three Minutes" (she was the Ms. Cleo wannabe who worked her magic on Michael).

This is the point where I had to check my channel guide. The group of people we're watching isn't concocting an elicit scheme, nor are they engaging in any weird cultish behavior. Rather, they're meeting as a book club.

When we enter this book club scene, one of the members (his name is Adam) is in the midst of railing on the week's book selection. "It's popcorn," the amateur critic says. "There's no metaphor! it's by-the-numbers religious hokum-pocum. It's science fiction!"

Adam presses on, suggesting that the reason one particular book club member -- an unseen man named Ben -- isn't present is because the selection is a load of science fiction hoo-ha, and Ben wouldn't have anything to do with it.

"I know the host picks the book, but seriously Julie, he wouldn't read this in the damn bathroom," Adam says.

The camera moves to the blonde woman (whom we now know as Julie). Her jaw is tightly set and Adam's critique is clearly pissing her off. She levels her eyes and unloads a scathing retort, noting that the book in question is, in fact, her favorite book, and it pleases her to no end that anal-retentive Adam doesn't like it. The elegant woman looks on, bemused at the can of whup-ass Julie just opened on Adam.

As Julie takes a breath and prepares to lob another verbal volley at the now-stunned Adam, a deep rumble echoes through the house and the walls begin shake. Plates rattle! Glasses clink! The book club takes cover under the doorways (where are they, L.A.?), but the rumbling soon quiets. The group walks outside into the bright sunlight. Nearby neighbors also appear; everyone is curious as to what caused the big rumble.

And this is when it gets interesting.

As doors fly open and neighbors mill about, the unseen man who was tending to Julie's plumbing pops out from beneath the house. We see his face.

HOLY CRAP! IT'S ETHAN! EVIL ETHAN!

But before we can fully digest this stunning turn of events, another door flies open and out walks ...

SWEET ZEUS' THUNDERBOLT! IT'S HENRY GALE!

But before we can even begin to understand what's going on, the assembled cast all gazes skyward. Their eyes grow wide. The camera turns ...

And there, arcing across the sky, is Oceanic 815. A smoky jet-trail is spilling from the plane as it rumbles overhead.

BLAM!

The tail section snaps off and tumbles away from the fuselage! (If you look carefully, you can seen Ana-Lucia sneering in response).

BLAM!

Oceanic 815's front section screams toward land.

Henry Gale instantly springs to action.

"Goodwin!" he shouts.

MOTHER OF GOD, WE KNOW HIM TOO!

Goodwin runs toward Henry.

"You see where the tail landed?" Gale asks.

"Yeah, probably in the water," Goodwin says.

"You run, you can make that shore in an hour," Gale says, doing his best Samuel Gerard impersonation. Gale turns toward Ethan, who's standing nearby. "Ethan, get up there to that fuselage. There may actually be survivors ... and you're one of them. A passenger. You're in shock. Come up with an adequate story if they ask. Stay quiet if they don't. Listen. Learn. Don't get involved. I want lists in three days. GO!"

Ethan and Goodwin run off in separate directions. The tension slows down as the rest of the neighborhood mills about, kicking dirt and wondering why a jumbo jet just cracked up in their airspace. Henry and Julie are standing near one another. Henry sees a book in Julie's arms.

"So I guess I'm out of the book club," he says in his best Evil Henry Gale voice (the exact same voice he used while crunching cereal back in "The Whole Truth").

The camera pulls back from Henry and Julie. The shot widens and additional homes are visible. Pine trees and oak trees are seen, sprouting from manicured lawns and casting shade on walkways. The shot pulls back further and further, showing a circle of houses on a flat expanse of land ... and then the camera pulls back completely, and that's when we see that the entire community -- Dharma World or Hanso Land or whatever the hell it is -- is nestled safe and snug in a remote valley on a far side of ...

THE ISLAND.

And that's how Season 3 starts. Under normal circumstances I'd jump right into the next plot thread, but this massive revelation requires a bit of analysis. As always, if I miss something or make an egregious error, please post your thoughts/corrections in the comments area below.

In no particular order I present, A Few Thoughts About This Very Big, Very Astounding First Scene:

  • During one of the wide shots it's clear that Dharma World has at minimum 11 or 12 homes, probably more. Given the sizeable number of neighbors milling around, I'm guessing there are many additional homes we didn't see. It begs the question: How big is Dharma World?

  • I'm assuming that the rumbling sound that sent the book club diving for cover was the build-up of the electromagnetic pulse in the original hatch. You'll recall that Desmond let the hatch countdown computer cross the zero barrier when he followed Kelvin to the hidden sailboat ("Live Together, Die Alone"). When Des eventually returned, the hatch was in the early stages of a full-on meltdown. He averted disaster by typing in the code. However, the delay caused the electromagnetic burst that brought down Oceanic 815.

  • We learn later in this episode that Julie's full name is Juliet.

  • In other naming news, Henry Gale's real name is finally revealed: He is the aforementioned "Ben."

  • Ben and Juliet appear to have once been an item, but their love connection seems to have soured. When the Big Rumble first echoes through Dharma World, Ben is shown exiting from a separate house. In addition, Ben's absence from the book club appears to be part of an existing rift between Ben and Juliet, which is a shame because I really thought those crazy kids could make it work.

  • The Elegant Woman in the book club has to be an important character. Her knowing glances and esteemed status suggest she's a leader. At first I thought she might be Dharma co-founder Karen DeGroot, but her age doesn't seem to match up. Even if Karen DeGroot was in her 30s when Dharma was founded (I tend to think she was younger than that), she'd still only be in her mid-50s (30 years old in 1980 + 24 years later). Anyone got another suggestion?

  • Finally, the title of the book debated by the book club is never mentioned, but thanks to the glory of TiVo I was able to freeze-frame on the cover. The book is "Carrie" by Stephen King. Let the literary conjecture begin.
Now that I've got my due diligence out of the way, we can move on ...
Point 2
Jack

Juliet

Ben/Henry Gale

The splashy opening of this episode was a broad scene, but the majority of the premiere is actually quite character-driven and simple. The primary focus is on the current state of Jack, Kate and Sawyer.

Because our Island Doctor gets pissy when we don't acknowledge his alpha male dominance, we'll begin with Jack:

For most of this episode, Jack is in an aquarium.

You read that correctly.

Our intrepid doctor -- a man who's been to Phuket and back, a man who's performed miracles in the operating room -- is, at the beginning of season three, little more than a sputtering goldfish trapped in a giant, dried-out aquarium.

Of course, when we first see Jack we don't know he's in an aquarium. Neither does he. When the episode opens, Jack groggily wakes up from medicine-induced unconsciousness. He looks down and sees a band-aid stuck into the nook of his arm, and, being a trained medical professional in a presumably unsterile environment, he rips the band-aid off to reveal what looks like a needle wound.

Looking around, Jack sees a wide, tall, dark room. The walls are metal and concrete. A large industrial table is bolted into the center of the room. Above, a knot of chains dangles from the high ceiling.

Jack looks to his left and sees a button on the far end of the room. It's yet another mysterious Dharma button -- no directions, no clear utility -- but Jack is a man who pushes a button when he sees it (he's also a man who unlocks giant restraining doors, but we'll get to that in a minute). Jack runs toward the button.

SMACK!

Like a sparrow dive-bombing a window, Jack slams into a clear plastic wall. He spins backwards, confused and stunned (again, like a sparrow). Moving forward, he slides his hands along the plastic. Oh crap, he's trapped.

Jack's rage wells. He steps back and unloads a mighty kick to the wall.

Nothing happens.

He slams another massive kick into the plastic.

Nothing happens again. In fact, less happens this time than the first time. The wall doesn't even shake.

Jack turns his fury to the chains hanging above. He climbs up on the long table and tugs viscously at a dangling chain. The chain slams against its bolt. Jack pulls again, and again the chain slams without incident.

You see a theme here?

As Jack rages against the machine, a door opens in a room on the other side of the plastic window. Jack freezes as Juliet appears. She calmly walks toward a nearby table lined with electronic equipment (the primary piece of equipment resembles an audio production board -- lots of switches and buttons). Juliet slides a switch and a loudspeaker inside Jack's cell cracks to life.

"Can you hear me in there?" Juliet asks.

Jack, summoning the strength of 1,000 gorillas, grabs the chain and slams it against the ceiling. The chain holds. It's approved to handle 1,001 gorillas.

Juliet, remaining calm, asks Jack to come down from the table so they can talk.

"Tell me where my friends are!" Jack screams. "Tell me why my daddy didn't love me!"

(That second bit is implied in everything Jack says).

Juliet draws upon her vast reserves of patience and again asks Jack to get his friggin' ass down from the damn table. This time, Jack's retort comes squarely from left field.

"You think I'm stupid!?" Jack says.

And this is when I decided that Juliet kicks ass.

"I don't think you're stupid," she says. "I think you're stubborn."

Jack is momentarily phased. In the span of 30 seconds this woman has completely figured him out. Unfortunately, the clarity of the moment fades and rage again wells in Jack's system. He grabs and chain and continues slamming it against the bolt. Juliet leaves because she's got better things to do than force a civilized conversation out of a meathead doctor.

You know what I need right now? I need me some backstory.

CUE BACKSTORY SWOOSH!

Throughout this episode, as Jack paces his cell and pulls on that damn chain, we see intercut scenes from Jack's past illustrating the fallout from Sarah's abrupt departure (remember, Sarah left Jack at the end of "The Hunting Party" because, in her words, all he cared about was "fixing things," not loving her).

In this episode's backstory, we see/learn the following:

  • Jack can be a creepy dude. The backstory opens with Jack sporting five days of stubble and looking as haggard as a guy trapped in an aquarium. But he's not in an aquarium -- he's in his car, parked outside the school where Sarah works. It's recess and Jack can see Sarah walking around her preschoolers. She sidles up to a man -- presumably a co-worker -- and the two share a moment that suggests their relationship goes way beyond work. Lines of anger and betrayal crawl across Jack's face.
  • Later, Jack meets Sarah in an office building. The pair are in the final stages of their divorce. Jack has fired his lawyer and, when he first sees Sarah, he appears to try at a half-hearted reconciliation. He begins to apologize to her, but before he can get to the part where he admits he's an obnoxious control freak who needs to get over his Daddy issues, Sarah's cell phone rings. She excuses herself and takes the call nearby.

    Sarah, you see, is a colossal bitch.

    Jack can hear Sarah -- it's one of those situations where she's far enough away to claim she excused herself from Jack's presence, but she's also close enough for Jack to understand the gist of the conversation. Her placement in the room is intentional, and for that she deserves a second horrific car wreck.

  • Anyway, Sarah appears to be talking to her unnamed paramour. We know this because she giggles like a 13-year-old watching Leo in "Titanic." Jack doesn't like Leo or "Titanic," and he really doesn't like it when his soon-to-be-ex is talking to her Secret Lover while he's in the room. When Sarah snaps the phone shut and returns, Jack's apologetic mood has been replaced by anger. He demands to know the name of the man Sarah is seeing -- in fact, he downright pleads with her to tell him -- but just as it seems Sarah is about to cough up the goods, she grabs her purse and curtly walks out of the room.

  • Later, Jack is in his office at the hospital, sweet-talking someone on the phone. It's an uncomfortable situation because Jack's ability to sweet-talk is sorely lacking and, more importantly, it's clear that he's become a full-on stalker. Sitting on the desk in front of Jack is a cell phone bill with certain lines scratched out. Somehow, Jack has obtained Sarah's cell invoice and he's going through each and every number in an effort to find "Him."

    (Sidenote: How awesome would it be if Sarah's "Him" turns out to be the "Him" the Others are scared of?).

    Jack's Daddy walks in and sees the Jack is up to no good. He tells his son to let it go, but given the history between these two, Daddy's advice falls on deaf ears. Jack disregards his father and dials another number. At precisely this moment, Daddy's cell phone rings. A sheepish looks crosses Daddy's face and he shuts off the ringer.

    Dr. Daddy's cell phone number is on Sarah's bill.

    SON OF A BITCH! SON ... OF ... A ... BITCH!

    Is Dr. Daddy the man Sarah is seeing?

  • Jack is haunted by this thought. Later, he spots his father in the hospital hallway as he receives another call. Daddy is acting weird -- he's giddy and excited and when he finishes his conversation he gleefully snaps his cell phone shut.

    Moments later, Daddy leaves the hospital unaware that Jack -- who's still in his scrubs -- is following him. Daddy arrives at a hotel and makes his way toward an upper floor. Jack trails him and watches as he enters a room. Jack follows, turning a corner and whipping by a door with a sign that reads:

    "Friends of Bill W."

    Uhh, Jack? You might want to hold on there a second ...

    Jack rushes into the room to find a group of recovering alcoholics sitting in a circle, drinking coffee and waiting for their meeting to start. Daddy is shocked to see Jack, but Jack's rage prevents him from realizing that maybe, just maybe, he's got his facts mixed up.

    But facts never stopped Jack from having a good hissy fit, so that's exactly what he does in front of Daddy's group. The group leader -- a woman -- tells Jack that his father has shared lots of information about him. This does little to assuage Jack's anger (RAAAR! JACK MAD!). Struggling to defuse the tension, the group leader tells Jack that his father has been sober for 50 days. Again, no dice. Jack's anger is palpable.

    He looks at his father. "Wow, Dad," Jack says with mock sincerity. "I wonder what helped you turn that corner? Maybe it was ... a new lady friend?"

    Daddy snaps. "I will NOT let you talk to me like ..."

    Jack cuts him off. "I will NOT let you sleep with my wife," Jack snarls.

    Jack's words slice through Daddy's anger. Daddy's face softens and his eyes grow confused and concerned.

    Jack is wrong. Dead, dead wrong.

    "Jack ..." Daddy says softly.

    Jack turns to leave.

    "Jack, I'm your father," Daddy says more forcefully. "Jack, just let it go!"

    Jack spins and runs at Daddy like a safety targeting a receiver. He cracks Daddy in the chest and the two sprawl to the floor!

  • When the backstory picks back up, Jack is in jail. His fight with Daddy got him thrown in the hoosegow, and while you'd think this is about as bad a day as you can get, in a moment it'll get just a little bit worse for Jack.

    You see, Sarah bails him out.

    Jack exits the jail and sees Sarah in the hallway. Daddy called Sarah with news of Jack's incarceration, and she opted to spring him. But this is not a happy jailhouse reunion. She purses her lips and says she called him a cab.

    "So, uh ... goodbye," Sarah says, turning on her heel.

    Sarah rushes outside and Jack follows. And this is when Sarah reveals just how incredibly bitchy/callous/mean she really can be.

    Jack spots a man standing by a car on the other side of the street. Sarah is walking toward the man's vehicle.

    "Sarah!" Jack calls. She spins. "Is that him?" Jack asks, nodding toward the man.

    "What difference does it make?" Sarah asks, tears welling in her eyes.

    "I want to know! I need to know who he is!" Jack pleads.

    "No matter who he is," Sarah says, "It just matters who you're not."

    You can actually see Jack's pride break into pieces and shatter on the pavement. But Sarah isn't done!

    "Jack, your father, he called me to help you," Sarah says. "He was so drunk I could hardly understand him ..."

    Wait for it ... Waaaaaaait for it ...

    "Look at the bright side," Sarah says. "Now you have something to fix."

    That does it.

    "Go frak yourself, Sarah! I fixed you, you ungrateful teacher-whore!"

    Of course, that's what Jack would have said if he still had the ability to speak. As it stands, Sarah's vicious comment renders Jack completely useless. His ego, self-esteem and self-confidence join his pride on the street. Sarah has landed the death blow.

    And that's how the backstory ends!

We now returned to your regularly scheduled aquarium incarceration.

Later in the episode Jack hears a crackling noise coming from an ancient intercom unit located within his aquarium cell. It sounds like a voice is trying to talk to Jack, but static obscures the message. Jack presses the intercom's "Talk" button and says he can't hear the message.

For a brief moment, the static clears and a familiar voice comes through: "Let it go, Jack."

Whoa! That's Daddy's voice!

Suddenly, overhead lights snap on and the door in the adjacent room cracks open. Jack is dazed, both by the sound of his father's voice and by the reappearance of Juliet. She's carrying a tray with a grilled cheese sandwich and bottle of Dharma water (look carefully and you'll see the sandwich has a Dharma logo branded into it ... just kidding). The sandwich is garnished with toothpicks and a sprig of parsley -- no joke.

Juliet says the sandwich and water are for Jack, but he needs to follow protocol if he's going to get them. She instructs him to place his back on the far wall of the cell and remain there while she brings the food in from another door.

Jack is unmoved by her generosity. He tells Juliet that she and the guy who's trying to talk to him through the intercom can stick their sandwiches in a sack. Juliet is confused ... she tells Jack the intercom hasn't worked for years.

Jack shifts his gaze behind Juliet. He nods toward the red button on the far side of the wall and asks what it's used for. This is the same button Jack tried to reach earlier, but was stopped by the clear plastic wall.

"It's used for emergencies," Juliet says. Foreshadowing alert!

Jack turns and continues to pace in his cell. Juliet approaches the clear wall and opts for a different approach with Jack. She asks him what he does.

Jack continues to pace.

"I'm a repo man," he lies. "You know, when people don't pay their bills, I go in for the bank and I collect their possessions. I'm a people person so I really love it."

"Are you married?" Juliet asks with a smirk. She knows Jack is lying.

"No, I never saw the point," Jack snaps. "How about you? What's your job, besides making sandwiches?"

And this is when Juliet fully won me over.

"Oh, I didn't make it," she says casually. "I just put the toothpicks in."

Jack stops pacing as Juliet's joke pierces his Invincibility Forcefield.

Juliet sees an opportunity. She asks Jack where he was flying from when his plane crashed. His demeanor softens. He looks at Juliet and tells her he was flying from Sydney, bringing his dead Daddy home.

"I'm sorry," Juliet says.

"I'm sure you are," Jack says, his sarcasm welling up. "Thanks."

But Juliet isn't done. She puts her palm on the plastic wall.

"You can trust me, Jack. I'm not going to hurt you."

Jack moves toward the wall. He stoops down so his eyes are on the same level as Juliet's.

"What the hell is going on here?" he asks, desperate to know why he's been taken captive and who these freaky Others really are.

Juliet drops her eyes, seemingly unsure of what to do next. It's a look reminiscent of the opening when she blinked away tears.

She turns and slowly walks toward the door. Pausing at the entrance, she takes a bite of the sandwich and gazes back into the room. She doesn't make eye contact with Jack, but she seems to want to. Thinking better of it, Juliet leaves and softly closes the door behind her.

Oh I like this. I like this very much.

Juliet returns later with another plate of food (this time it's a lovely fruit plate). She tells Jack in no uncertain terms that the drugs he was given earlier -- the ones that knocked him out -- cause dehydration, headaches and hallucinations. Also, if he should experience priapism for more than four hours he should call ...

Wait. Wrong medicine. Sorry.

Jack looks up. "So you're a doctor, huh?" he asks.

Juliet, without missing a beat, has the perfect response. "No. I'm a repo woman."

Seriously. How can you not like this woman?

Juliet asks Jack, again, to simply sit with his back against the far wall so she can come in with the food. She tells him there are no strings attached. He doesn't have to answer questions, he doesn't have to talk. Moreover, she says she realizes what Jack is trying to do -- he thinks that if he gives in to anything, even something as simple as eating, he's giving in completely.

Juliet's logic is flawless. Jack relents and moves slowly to the far wall and sits.

Juliet thanks Jack, exits the room and walks down a hallway toward the aquarium's door. Jack watches intently as the lever to the door of his aquarium cell slides open.

Juliet takes a step in.

Jack lunges for the door! The fruit plate shatters as Jack spins Juliet and slams her on the long table in the middle of the room. He grabs a tazer/shooter weapon tucked into the back of Juliet's pants and chucks it across the room. He picks up a large shard of broken plate and holds it to Juliet's throat.

"Which way out?" he growls. Jack clutches Juliet as the two back into the hallway through the open aquarium door. He spots a heavy door with a spinning wheel at the far end of the hall. He orders Juliet to open it.

Juliet, despite having a shard of dinnerware pressed to her jugular, refuses. She says that if they open that door, they both die.

"Open it!" Jack shouts.

A man's voice sounds from the opposite end of the hallway. "She's right, Jack."

Jack spins with Juliet. His eyes pop as he sees Henry Gale/Ben!

"I'll kill her!" Jack says.

Ben, in a move that proves he's a vindictive son of a bitch with ice in his veins, doesn't flinch. "Okay," Ben says without blinking. "Have her open the door and she dies anyway."

In this next bit, Jack displays the full depth of his meatheadedness. He shoves Juliet away and turns back toward the door. Grabbing the spinning handle, he pulls with all his strength and the door begins to creak. Ben looks at Juliet then turns and darts toward a door down the hall. Juliet follows, but Ben slams the door in her face, shutting her out.

Jack unlocks the door and grabs the handle. He starts to pull, but the thing on the other side of the door really wants to get in, so he doesn't have to pull much at all.

Uh. Oh.

A deep rumble grows louder. Jack backs up.

A huge surge of water bursts through the door and floods the hallway! Jack and Juliet are spun like toy boats. Juliet flails toward the room adjacent to the aquarium. She calls for Jack. He sputters toward her and together then push a heavy metal door against the water.

"Press the button!" she yells. Jack struggles toward the red emergency button and slaps it. A heavy pump activates as water is sucked from the room. Jack moves to turn back toward Juliet, but she stops his advance with a killer right hook that knocks Jack unconscious. Juliet lifts him and keeps his head aloft as water drains from the room.

Later, Jack comes to in the aquarium cell. The room is dry and he is too. Juliet is sitting at the equipment table in the adjacent room -- the two are again separated by the plastic partition. Juliet is paging through a thick folder filled with papers.

"We're underwater, aren't we?" Jack asks, noting the obvious.

Juliet confirms his adept conclusion (it takes an awful lot to slide one past 'ol Jack!). This is when Jack realizes he's in an aquarium -- a big aquarium, like the kind used for dolphins and sharks.

"Is this one of their stations?" Jack asks, digging for dirt on the Dharma Initiative.

"They called it the Hydra," Juliet responds calmly.

"So you people are just ... whatever's left over of them," Jack says.

Juliet's face grows somber. "Well, that was a long time ago," she says. "It doesn't matter who we were. It only matters who we are."

Juliet looks down at the file. "We know exactly who you are, Jack Shephard."

She proceeds to run down Jack's Greatest Hits: He's a spinal surgeon based out of St. Sebastian's hospital in L.A.; he went to Columbia (the university, not the country); he graduated from medical school a year faster than anyone else; he was married once and contested the divorce; his father died in Sydney and Juliet knew this before Jack told her because she's got a copy of the autopsy report.

Who are these people?

Jack looks at the folder sitting in front of Juliet. He asks if it contains information on his friends and family. Juliet says it does.

Jack is dazed. There's one thing he needs to know. One very important thing.

Of course, we're led to believe that this one important thing is the name of the man Sarah is with. But we're wrong.

Jack leans on the table and hangs his head.

"Do you know about my ex-wife?"

"Sarah," Juliet says. "Yes, Jack. We know all about her. What would you like to find out?"

"Is she ... is she happy?" Jack asks.

"Yes, Jack," Juliet says. "She's very happy."

Jack weeps. He's officially lost it. Juliet, seeing that Jack's armor has finally been tossed aside, asks him if she can bring him food without him going apeshit on her. "Can I trust you, Jack?" she asks.

Jack nods a slow "yes."

Juliet takes a breath and asks him to move against the wall ("It puts the lotion in the basket. IT ... PUTS ... THE LOTION ... IN THE BASKET!")

Juliet leaves the room. Outside she turns to see Ben standing in the hallway, his arms pinned to his sides and his face set in that creepy Henry Gale expression.

"Good work, Juliet," he says.

"Thank you, Ben," she responds, launching a thousand tiny daggers with her eyes.

And with that, Jack's segment concludes.

Point 3
Kate

Ben/Henry Gale

Zeke/Mr. Friendly

The two other captives, Kate and Sawyer, had considerably less to do this week.

We'll start with Kate.

Kate, like Jack, begins the episode unconscious. She wakes up to the sound of a high-pressure shower pounding a tile floor. Looking around, she sees she's in some sort of locker room. She looks up and spots Zeke (a.k.a Mr. Friendly, a.k.a The Formerly Bearded Other) standing against a nearby wall. He greets her with a hearty "Hi Kate!" then tells her to take a shower.

Kate is confused, and a little creeped out. Zeke guides her toward a fresh towel, shampoo and soap, but Kate is unconvinced. "I'm not showering in front of you," she snaps.

Zeke cracks up. "You're not my type," he laughs, walking out of the locker room.

Kate, seeing that she's really got no other options, strips down and scrubs up. When she finishes, she wraps herself in the towel and pads over to a locker where her clothes were stored. But there's a problem ... the clothes aren't there.

A nearby locker is open. A piece of masking tape is slapped across the door with the words "Wear These" scrawled across it. Kate peers in and sees ...

A sun dress?

Realizing that her sartorial choices are between a Dharma towel or a new dress, she opts for the dress. Putting it on, she takes a moment to look at herself in the mirror. It's the first time we've seen Kate in a dress; I don't think anyone would have a problem if we saw more of this type of thing.

Alas, the moment soon ends as Zeke returns with Dharma henchmen in tow. The group marches Kate outside and guides her toward a nearby beach. Moving through the seaside brush, Kate stops dead in her tracks when the water comes into view.

There, sitting at a cloth-covered table, is Ben ("the artist formerly known as Henry Gale," to steal Sawyer's line). The table is covered in breakfast food: coffee, fruit, eggs, juice, a McGriddle here and there. The set-up looks like a reward challenge from "Survivor."

Zeke pushes Kate toward the table. She apprehensively sits down opposite Ben. Zeke and his boys depart, leaving Kate and Ben alone on the beach.

Kate notices a pair of handcuffs resting near her plate. Ben tells her to put them on, but Kate resists, asking him what he'll do if she doesn't comply.

"Then you won't get any coffee!" Ben chirps.

Kate snaps the cuffs into place, but Ben catches on to her not-so-clever ploy. "A little tighter, please," Ben says. Kate clicks the cuffs shut.

She asks Ben what's happened to Sawyer and Jack. Ben huffs in amusement.

"Now why Sawyer?" he asks, noting that she inquired about him first.

Kate doesn't respond, instead turning her attention to the meal in front of them. She wants to know why she's been brought here -- what's with the breakfast on the beach and the dress? Ben says the dress is to remind her what it feels like to be a lady. The meal is to remember what it's like to be civilized. The beach is meant to provide comfort in knowing that her friends are looking upon the same ocean.

Ben summons his most evil Henry Gale look.

"I did all those things so that you'd have something nice to hold on to" ... DRAMATIC PAUSE ... "Because, Kate, the next two weeks are going to be very unpleasant."

BWAHAHAHAAHA!

Ben rises and leaves. Kate paws at a McGriddle and wonders how she's going to get out of this mess.

Point 4
Sawyer

Zeke/Mr. Friendly

Juliet

And finally, we come to Sawyer.

Sawyer, oddly enough, wakes up in a bear cage.

No joke. He's outside, confined in a cage that was once used to hold bears (presumably, polar bears, but that's not confirmed). The cage is located behind a multi-story building. A second bear cage stands about 10-15 feet away. The area is lined with overgrown trees and the grounds resemble a post-apocalyptic Busch Gardens.

Inside his cage, Sawyer spots a series of gizmos: a lever hangs from the top of the cage, a foot pedal is built into the ground on the opposite wall, and a big red button stenciled with a fork and knife is in the middle of the cell. Sawyer presses the button and a woman's recorded voice barks "Warning!" Sawyer, unimpressed, presses the button again. The warning sounds, but this time it's accompanied by a buzzing noise. Sawyer moves to press the button a third time ...

"I wouldn't do that."

Sawyer spins and sees a young man/teenager sitting with his back toward him in the other bear cage. (This is a new character.)

"I want your advice, I'll ask for it," Sawyer quips.

Sawyer smacks the button. A bright electric current hurls Sawyer through the air. He slams against the cage and crumples to the ground.

"Told you," the other prisoner snarks.

Later, Sawyer catches on to the inner workings of the bear cage. In order to get food, he needs to press the foot pedal, push the button and pull the lever. But there's a problem -- he can't reach all of the doo-dads. As he ponders the bear puzzle, the kid in the other cage asks him how long it would take to get back to the Oceanic camp.

"What, you talking to me now, Chachi?" Sawyer asks, then turns back to his levers.

The kid continues, wanting to know about the people from Oceanic 815.

"Oh they're just awesome," Sawyer says. "Last one of you that came to visit got tortured by an Iraqi ... he tortured me too, but hell, he don't know any better!"

Sawyer turns back toward the other cage. He face drops. The kid has escaped.

Sawyer looks around and the kid suddenly appears in front of him. The kid unlocks Sawyer's cage and points him toward a path around the multi-story building. Sawyer darts along a tall fence and then scurries into a clearing.

"Hey."

Sawyer turns and sees Juliet. He's confused: should he run or ask her out?

Juliet takes a step forward, reaches behind her back and grabs a weapon. She cracks a dart directly into Sawyer's neck -- it's the same type of dart used in the season two finale, and the weapon is the same one Jack finds when he jumps Juliet in the aquarium. The drugs in the dart drop Sawyer to the ground. He convulses and loses consciousness.

Moments later, Zeke and two of his henchmen drag Sawyer back to the bear cage and drop him on the dirt floor. Sawyer sputters to life and watches as Zeke slams the teenage boy's head against the bars of Sawyer's cage.

"Say it, Carl," Zeke says.

"I'm sorry I involved you in my breakout attempt," the kid (Carl) says. With that, the henchmen haul Carl off to an undisclosed location (they don't put him back in the other cage). Juliet and Zeke leave Sawyer to continue pondering the bear puzzle.

Sawyer finally cracks the puzzle at the end of the episode. He slides a rock through the cage bars, positions it on the foot pedal, presses the big food button and then tosses his boot at the hanging lever. Marching music rings from the speaker. "Reward! Reward!"

As rewards go, this one sucks.

A big fish-shaped Dharma cracker slides down a food chute, followed by a load of grain. A water hose sputters to life and fills a nearby trough.

As Sawyer slurps from the hose, Zeke and his henchmen lead Kate (who's still wearing the dress) into the other cage. Sawyer spins, thrilled to see Freckles ... and even more thrilled to see her in that dress.

Zeke takes Kate's handcuffs off and notices that the cuffs chewed into her wrists. He offers to bring her antiseptic later.

"How 'bout you bring me an ottoman?" Sawyer says. "While you're at it, I could use a blow dry."

"Hey!" Zeke says, noticing Sawyer's food reward. "You got yourself a fish biscuit! How'd you do that?"

"I figured out your complicated gizmos, that's how," Sawyer says, beaming with pride.

"Only took the bears two hours!" Zeke laughs as he walks off.

Sawyer is wounded. "How many of them were there?" he asks. Zeke doesn't answer.

Sawyer looks at Kate. Her lip quivers, but Sawyer knows how to cheer Freckles up.

"I requested that cage," Sawyer says, pointing at Kate's cell. Kate smiles.

Sawyer compliments Kate on the dress, which is appropriate since she looks uncommonly good given the recent kidnapping and that breakfast interlude with Ben. Sawyer asks if she's hungry. She nods. He leans out from the bars and tosses his partially eaten fish biscuit to Kate. She catches it and chomps a gill. "Mmmm, that's terrific bass!"

And with that, the season three premiere comes to a close.

Point 5
Island I'll conclude with a few random questions/thoughts:
  • Despite an exciting look into the inner workings of Dharma World, we still don't know why the Others hand-picked Jack, Kate and Sawyer. Is it because they're potential leaders? Are they the biggest threats? Or, do the Others see the possibility of a Borg-like assimilation into the Other Collective? (While Sawyer is fond of reading, I can't really picture him in the Dharma book club.)

  • Jack's conversation with Juliet hinted at an "end" to the Dharma Initiative. Juliet says that it all happened a "long time ago." So, does this mean the Initiative is defunct? Or, are the Others simply a splinter group? If the Initiative is over, why does the Hanso Foundation continue to send food supplies to the island?

  • When the episode first opened I thought Juliet was actually Penny Widmore (Desmond's lost love) and I know there will be suggestions that the two characters are the same person. That is not the case. Juliet is played by Elizabeth Mitchell. Penny is played by Sonya Walger.

  • I might have missed her, but I don't remember seeing Alex in any of the Other neighborhood shots. Was she there?

That's it for now. Be sure to drop by our "Lost" Forum for stimulating conversation and conjecture.

Next Episode:
"The Glass Ballerina" -- Sayid's scheme to find Jack puts Sun and Jin in the crosshairs of bad stuff. Airs: Wednesday, October 11, 9 p.m., ABC.




Review by Mac Slocum. All photos and episode descriptions © ABC Inc.


Posted by Mac at 1:21 PM