The Lost Blog

Lost Caption: Mother and Daughter Bondage

The reunion we all wanted to see - No, not Driveshaft - (R.I.P. Charlie!) - After sixteen years, Danielle Rousseau is finally reunited with her abducted baby girl Alex in the season three finale "Through The Looking Glass"

What does a crazed castaway hermit mom say to a teenage daughter who's lived her entire life in a suburban house with her abductor only a couple of miles away?

Post your caption(s) through the comments area at the bottom of the page as we explore the dynamics of the Parent / Child / Abductor relationship in this week's LOST Photo Caption.

Alex meets her Mom

Parlez-vous français?

#1. Posted by: Clementine at June 17, 2007 8:32 PM

Do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?

#2. Posted by: Gitmo at June 17, 2007 8:40 PM

Thank god my genes were dominant.

#3. Posted by: Courtney at June 18, 2007 1:14 AM

Danielle: Thank God, I have found you at last! Now I can take you away from this hellish existance, with hot water, cd players, and football on the common. You will come and live with me in my bacherlorette ditch. We will dig you your own extension! Do you have your own spade?

#4. Posted by: Danny at June 18, 2007 2:27 AM

Danielle: I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. To make up for it, I'm going to give you whatever you want. Even though it's against my better judgement, I'll give you a cell phone.

Alex: Hellloooo? Mother? They don't work out here!

#5. Posted by: tropichunt.com guyâ„¢ at June 18, 2007 7:07 AM

"The whispers, Danielle! Tell me you hear the whispers!"

#6. Posted by: mac at June 18, 2007 7:53 AM

Alex: "Mom, get a grip!"

#7. Posted by: Nat. at June 18, 2007 8:12 AM

Tell me more of this "shampoo" of which you speak.

#8. Posted by: bcre8ve at June 18, 2007 8:16 AM

Danielle: Do you know who I am?

Alex: Of course I do. You're that french DJ from the Island radio station - WBEN.

#9. Posted by: vacc at June 18, 2007 8:36 AM

"Alex; I've finally found this wonderful man !"

#10. Posted by: Fred Schwardt at June 18, 2007 9:00 AM

"Alex; I've finally found this wonderful man !"

#11. Posted by: Fred Schwardt at June 18, 2007 9:00 AM

Danielle: "You will never have to skin your own rabbits again!"

#12. Posted by: BunnyLover at June 18, 2007 9:13 AM

Danielle to Alex:

I have good news and bad news, ma chéri.

The good news:
I did NOT have RELATIONS with that MAN!
Your eyeballs will stay firmly rooted in their sockets.

The bad news:
You still get the crazy gene from me.
Boop boop dittum dattum wattum, choo!
Ha-ha-ha-HA-ha!

#13. Posted by: Clementine at June 18, 2007 9:44 AM

The Red Sox won what?!!

#14. Posted by: bcre8ve at June 18, 2007 9:54 AM

Did they tell you about your brother Karl?

#15. Posted by: bcre8ve at June 18, 2007 9:56 AM

Never have unprotected sex!

#16. Posted by: PiecesofArzt at June 18, 2007 10:15 AM

Fergit it. Nothing could possibly be as funny as the actual line.

#17. Posted by: Deep Cover at June 18, 2007 10:19 AM

"PLEASE tell me you have some deodorant. Oh, and some makeup... and perhaps a comb?"

#18. Posted by: BunnyLover at June 18, 2007 10:20 AM

Danielle: "So many things going through my head...well, let's start with this...here's where you put your arms when slow-dancing with a boy."

#19. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at June 18, 2007 10:25 AM

You're not my Alex. My Alex was much smaller.

#20. Posted by: bcre8ve at June 18, 2007 10:52 AM

Alex, darling, I thought the dingo ate you?!!

#21. Posted by: Clementine at June 18, 2007 10:58 AM

Russo, "Uh, Alex I guess I should tell you're not on the list. You are not one of them(like your mom), they just really like children. Looks like you have no choice but to join me. Thanks for making that easy Ben. If you weren't such a bad Dad it might have been harder to convince her to come live in my Layer."

#22. Posted by: Dakota at June 18, 2007 11:06 AM

You got a little something in your teeth.

#23. Posted by: notsoeasy at June 18, 2007 11:10 AM

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word
Mama’s gonna buy you a Hurleybird

And if that Hurleybird don’t sing
Mama’s gonna buy you a Dextor Stratton ring

And if that DS ring turns brass
Mama’s gonna buy you a Looking Glass

And if that Looking Glass gets flooded
Mama’s gonna kill all the Others cold-blooded

Don’t cry, sweetheart, it’s just a lullaby!

#24. Posted by: Clementine at June 18, 2007 11:41 AM

@Clementine#24

Love it!

#25. Posted by: Dakota at June 18, 2007 11:43 AM

Rousseau: "Have you seen my pet "rabbits?

#26. Posted by: bcre8ve at June 18, 2007 11:51 AM

Danielle: "Why the long face, Alex?" (touches her own face)... "oh yeah.. that's why.."

#27. Posted by: vacc at June 18, 2007 12:18 PM

Alex: "Mom?"
Danielle: "I'm here child."
Alex: "I'm cold."
Danielle: "Here...(spooky music)...this SCARF will keep you warm!"

#28. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at June 18, 2007 12:20 PM

Ok . . so far I've laughed the loudest at:

Did they tell you about your brother Karl?
→ 15. Posted by: bcre8ve


#29. Posted by: davidrh at June 18, 2007 12:33 PM

"Alex, I am your father."

#30. Posted by: Gitmo at June 18, 2007 12:52 PM

"Alex, would you like an onion ring?"

Danielle clicks the juke box.

"Don't stop believin... Hold on to that feelin.... Street light.... people... oh oh oh....

Black screen.

#31. Posted by: Lothar at June 18, 2007 12:54 PM

"I'm sorry, Alex, but just because Brenda, Donna and Dylan are smoking crack behind the Peach Pit doesn't mean you have to do it, too."

#32. Posted by: Sillygirl0630 at June 18, 2007 3:29 PM

Danielle: "Now, this may be a little uncomfortable at first, but it's important for young women to have their breasts examined regularly."

#33. Posted by: Trinity at June 18, 2007 4:15 PM

Okay, I got two, but together I don't think they're as good as OMDC's (#24).

Here goes anyway...

Yes, Alex, I am your mother. Join me and we will overthrow Darth Ben and rule the universe as mother and daughter!

OR...

Yes, I am your mother. But Ben is not your father. Even with my sasquatch legs and pits, I still am not desperate enough to make the beast with two backs with that bug-eyed bastard.

#34. Posted by: ransomjackson at June 18, 2007 4:16 PM

stop, stop...you're killing me!! :)

#35. Posted by: meg at June 18, 2007 5:13 PM

@ransomjackson #34 - I continued the dialog from your 2nd caption..

Alex: What do you mean "Ben isn't my father". Who is my father? Is he still alive?

Danielle: Your real father was a great man. I killed him shortly before you were born. His name was Laffo.

#36. Posted by: vacc at June 18, 2007 5:23 PM

All these years we've had the same hair stylist. Who knew?!

#37. Posted by: LavenderLady at June 18, 2007 5:36 PM

Oh my gawd, these are all so funny!

Like Davidrh, I loved bcre8ve's, "Did they tell you about your brother Karl?"

But Clementine's poem was a real gasser, too.

Then comes along: Red...Neck...Man's "This scarf will keep you warm." Mercy, that was too much.

vacc's "His name was Laffo" was also an excellent one. Good old Laffo, I wonder if he is still reading our posts and if he knows how much enjoyment we got at his expense.


Humbly, I offer the following:

Alex: You've had WHAT for 17 years?
Danielle: Crabs Alex, have you not heard of crabs, for crying out loud?"


#38. Posted by: ButchM at June 18, 2007 7:06 PM

Alex, you're a frakkin cylon.

#39. Posted by: Gitmo at June 18, 2007 7:27 PM

OOOH, boy! Just what I ALL-ways WANT-ed! My OWN litt-le BUNN-y RA-bbit! And I will LOVE her and PET her and SQUEEZE her and call her Alex...

#40. Posted by: Clementine at June 18, 2007 9:03 PM

laffo??? Scarf??? Your brother Karl??? I can't even compete with this.

How about Rousseau grabbing her face and saying....and now, for something completely different...

#41. Posted by: meg at June 18, 2007 9:49 PM

oh, and then a big foot squashes them both!

#42. Posted by: meg at June 18, 2007 9:51 PM

Rousseau: "Quick, have you seen Montand's arm?"

#43. Posted by: bcre8ve at June 19, 2007 7:34 AM

@meg/43 "oh, and then a big foot squashes them both!"

Ha! It took me a minute. At first I thought you meant Bigfoot, as in Sasquatch came out and squashed them. I thought, "How random" (I'm a big fan of random btw).

Ok, I'm a little slow this morning. I need my Crispy Seaplanes cereal.

#44. Posted by: bcre8ve at June 19, 2007 10:07 AM

"Come sail away with me on the Black Rock. The crabs ButchM referenced will carry the ship down to the ocean and we can sail away from Davy Jones' Locker once and for all!"

#45. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at June 19, 2007 10:09 AM

"Mom....how many toes do you have?"

#46. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at June 19, 2007 11:12 AM

You people are killing me!!!

Danielle: You look sick Alex. Don't worry, mommy will make it better.

#47. Posted by: SamFin at June 19, 2007 11:27 AM

You shop at the GAP too?

#48. Posted by: welh at June 19, 2007 3:02 PM

Alex, Yes its true I killed your father and yes its true Ben Killed his Father.
But you still can’t date Karl until he starts using a scarf.

#49. Posted by: samfin at June 19, 2007 3:29 PM

Rousseau: "Ok, your dad can have you on weekdays and every other weekend, but I get Christmas and Thanksgiving. I have to have Christmas and Thanksgiving!"

#50. Posted by: bcre8ve at June 19, 2007 5:08 PM

@bcre8ve - it was an idea taken from Monty Python, the big foot.

Here's another one:

Rousseau grabs Alex's face and says to her quietly, yet firmly...

Sweetie, I finally found you. But, there is just one thing though that I want you to know...MIF!!!!!!

#51. Posted by: meg at June 19, 2007 5:10 PM

Alex, I must have your step-father’s cassette player!! Can you imagine 16 years without any tunes? Please tell me you have an Erasure tape? Maybe some INXS? Bananarama?? For the love of all that’s holy, I thought you had contact with the outside world??!! How can you not know Rick Astley???

#52. Posted by: Clementine at June 19, 2007 9:35 PM

Danielle: "Alex, did anyone ever show you all the lovely things you can do with a rope?"

#53. Posted by: Alaïs_Longthought at June 19, 2007 11:08 PM

So far my vote goes to :
Clementine → 24. - I sang that lullabye to my baby and he smiled! Thanks!

Honorable Mention :
Deep Cover #17 : Fergit it. Nothing could possibly be as funny as the actual line -

btw, the actual line in the scene was "Help me tie him up" - the perfect ice-breaker.

After a recent trip to Eric Foreman's basement, I'm not so sure I agree with Deep Cover's assessment. I think there were at least 20 entries here - which had they been the actual dialog in that scene - I would still be laffo-ing today.

I'll have the next caption up over the weekend. This week was a warm-up. The next photo should produce some memorable entries!

#54. Posted by: vacc at June 20, 2007 10:04 PM

"We're gonna need a bigger bra!"

#55. Posted by: Trinity at June 21, 2007 12:53 AM

@vacc: Glad your baby enjoyed the “Hurleybird Lullaby.” If he wants to pick up a copy, it’s now available on vinyl and 8-track at your local Laffo-Mart for the low, low price of a plug nickel. For trivia buffs, the B-side is a rare version of laffo singing “Edelweiss” while accompanying himself on the ukulele. The squeaking noises are not a reflection of the general poor quality of the recording (although the record is, in fact, crap). It was an artistic choice not to edit out the sound of the balloon animals screaming for help.

#56. Posted by: Clementine at June 21, 2007 7:30 AM

"Sure, Jack is the star in the States, but WE'RE the main characters when this show airs in France!"

#57. Posted by: FenwayBen at June 21, 2007 7:34 AM

Danielle: "For God's sake child...can you get me some of Richard Alpert's eyeliner? I look like such a mess!"

#58. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at June 21, 2007 10:54 AM

Shall we make a sandwich?

#59. Posted by: Seabear70 at June 21, 2007 12:20 PM

Danielle: "You know, dear, if you could just clean up a bit, you'd look as good as DarrellAnn does in the next Story blog . . "

#60. Posted by: davidrh at June 21, 2007 3:15 PM

"Just tell me honestly... do I smell after 16 years in the jungle?"

#61. Posted by: sdraw at June 22, 2007 10:42 AM

@ davidrh/#61: LOL...pretty good. But isn't that your other-brother DarrellAnn?

POLL: Should the next LOST Question be - Who is DarrellAnn?

#62. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at June 22, 2007 10:42 AM

"GEICO mom!... It's so easy, a cavewoman could do it".

#63. Posted by: DocH at June 22, 2007 12:58 PM

Danielle: "I'm glad your evil father at least kept your first name of Alex."

Alex: "Me too, I like it very much."

Danielle: "But I hate to inform you that your middle name is Trebek...sorry 'bout that one."

#64. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at June 22, 2007 3:36 PM

Danielle: "What do you mean? Would I be interested in my own personal copy of 'The Watchtower'?...".

#65. Posted by: DocH at June 22, 2007 5:41 PM

Danielle: hello little one! iam your mother. wanna hug? peeka boo!

#66. Posted by: luuk at June 22, 2007 6:37 PM

“Alexandra Marie! WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE we didn’t run around islands with our boyfriends skinning rabbits and acting smart, so QUIT BEING MELODRAMATIC, it’s not the end of the world if Ben tried to brainwash Karl, IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD and BOYS ONLY WANT ONE THING and on this island that can get you killed, and you may not realize it now, but SOMEDAY YOU’LL THANK ME for letting you live in a house with running water instead of a dirt bunker, cause you know MONEY DOESN’T GROW ON TREES and I’ve done the best I can to provide for you and IF I HAD A DOLLAR for every time I was almost eaten by that Smoke Monster, I’d be living in a mansion, so you just COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS that you have parents who care about your welfare, and I better not find you playing with my rifle, cause YOU’LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT, and then there’ll be hell to pay, and just WAIT TIL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME!”

“Oh, well, that last one’s not helpful, cause I killed your father a long time ago, but you get the message YOUNG LADY!”

#67. Posted by: Clementine at June 22, 2007 7:10 PM

Oops! Just read the earlier posts..what I meant to say was:

"Alexandra Trebek!"

#68. Posted by: Clementine at June 22, 2007 7:25 PM

I vote for Clementine's awesome caption #68 above. Great job!

Now, GET BACK TO WORK cause if YOUR FATHER finds out you spend all your time on THAT COMPUTER and surfing for LOST blogs on the stupid INTERNET he'll just have a FIT I tell you!

Not to mention you had to go and say "skinning rabbits" which gave me the willies... and what the heck is a willie anyway?? AH HA! Is ole Smokie really a willie?

#69. Posted by: BunnyLover at June 25, 2007 1:57 PM

Sorry, BunnyLover, that post should have been rated BV-13 for Bunny Violence. I’m sure Alex is plagued by guilt and wandering the island at this very moment, scrubbing her hands and muttering “Out! Damn’d spot!” And Karl’s enjoying a medium-rare bunny burger with extra ketchup. (Ew, I just grossed myself out!) But I feel the need to confess to you that my Grandma used to can rabbits. Hey, it was the Great Depression and I hear they were mighty tasty! Hope you can still be my friend :( Oh, the guilt by association! “Out! Damn’d spot!”

#70. Posted by: Clementine at June 25, 2007 10:10 PM

OH...MHA...GAWD...!!!!

"Karl’s enjoying a medium-rare bunny burger with extra ketchup."

I just puked a little in my mouth.

@ Clementine - I (sniff) understand (sniff, sniff)that you GRANDMOTHER may have - out of necessity - CANNED POOR INNOCENT LITTLE BUNNIES during bad times, but PUHLEEZ refrain from such graffic detail.

I can only take so much.

And I thought LOST was bad...

Oh, and yes - we can still be friends - but I must insist the bunny hatin stop. And "hold the ketchup" next time?


#71. Posted by: BunnyLover at June 25, 2007 10:47 PM

No joke here...we just got a bunny. You know, for the kids...sorta like a pet.

His name is Butch. He's Dutch.

I must admit...he looks tasty...

#72. Posted by: ransomjackson at June 26, 2007 12:46 PM

Oh, dear. I’m having a future-flash. BunnyLover will contract hits by Psycho Crispy. (All n’s and no m’s makes Crispy a scary boy) The targets will end up canned in glass jars on her basement shelf labeled Clementine, ransomjackson and PiecesofArzt.

Watch your back, fellas! Crispy could Snap, Crackle or Pop us at any time.

#73. Posted by: Clementine at June 26, 2007 1:28 PM

No future flashes allowed here. Leave that to LOST.

(But thank you Clementine for the excellent idea... MMWAA HAA HAAA HAAAAaaa...)

#74. Posted by: BunnyLover at June 26, 2007 4:11 PM

HAIKU cont:

old mom has new hope
current leaders fear a coup
new daughter confused

#75. Posted by: MorBid0 at September 7, 2007 11:12 PM