The Lost Blog

Lost Caption: Jin's Tale of Terror

This week we revisit a memorable moment from "Catch-22" - Jin's Korean version of the scary campfire classic "killer with a missing hand".

Now I'm passing the flashlight on to you.. Will your campfire tale strike terror into the hearts of all? Or will it be a gut-busting, side splitting narrative that leaves us laughing so hard we start spitting out our Crispy Seaplanes Breakfast Cereal?

Post your caption(s) through the comments area at the bottom of the page as we gather 'round the campfire. It's time to "cowboy up" - in this week's LOST Photo Caption.


jin ghost story

Jin: ....And then the bushes began shaking. Someone was there....or someTHING. Heart thumping loudly, hands quivering, body convulsing, Locke pulls back the brush. Something inside of his soul is telling him to face this island monster. Locke senses his destiny coming to fruition. And then.......Locke peers through the branches and sees it.,,,,,,He screams, running in terror.

"What do you think's got Locke all spooked?" asks Libby to Hurley.

#1. Posted by: Matt S at July 2, 2007 11:48 AM

"... and then the ABC executives told us our ratings were down because the viewer decided that they did want a life after all!"

#2. Posted by: gables79 at July 2, 2007 12:45 PM

Jin: "And then, just as everyone finally felt comfortable with their surroundings.....Paulo took ANOTHER monster poop and clogged the only working toilet on the island."

#3. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at July 2, 2007 1:24 PM

Jin: "…So in the morning, with my head pounding like it'd been run over by a fleet of concrete mixing trucks, and the roof of my mouth feeling like Larry King's flannel shirt, and my stomach doing more flip-flops than the Moscow Circus, I rolled over only to find that the gorgeous statuesque creature that I'd brought home from the bar and spent a deliciously hazy night making sweaty monkey love to had been replaced by…Hillary Clinton!"

#4. Posted by: ransomjackson at July 2, 2007 2:08 PM

ransomjackson--I think I need to scrub the inside of my eyeballs to get rid of that mental image! Yuck!

#5. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 2, 2007 2:33 PM

Jin: Ben's coordinates didn't work and Michael and Walt grow angry with each passing moment as they approach the island again. As they reach the shorleline, Michael raises his fist toward the sky - cursing the view before him. Looking toward the sky, you see that Michael's gotta gun.

#6. Posted by: amelia at July 2, 2007 2:48 PM

"I sat in my tent with my camera pointed lighting my face like so and giving the viewer a great shot of my boogies. I cried and cried. 'I'm sooo scared,' I said. Then I thought I heard my friend screaming. I ran through the woods toward the sound of the bloodcurdling cries until I came to a dingy old house. I ran inside and up and down the stairs until I came to a room where I found a man with a red neck standing facing the corner. That was when someone hit me from behind and I blacked out.
When I awoke I was in a small room with a creepy looking puppet with bunny ears. I was chained to a toilet with a saw beside me. Paolo's corpse was sitting on the toilet dropping one last deuce.
The puppet began to speak, 'I will let you go if you can answer one question...'
'Anything, name it,' I answered.
'Tell me--Who is always first?'"

#7. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 2, 2007 3:07 PM

BOOGEDY!BOOGEDY!BOOGEDY!BOOGEDY!!!!!

#8. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 2, 2007 3:17 PM

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHGGGG!!! PLEASE STOP! STOP! IT'S MEG - MEG IS FIRST! MEG IS ALWAYS FIRST!!

#9. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 2, 2007 3:26 PM

Jin: "...and here is the part where I do my best Zulu impression..."

#10. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 2, 2007 3:29 PM

Jin: 너 백치!
곤충이 나의 코높은 쪽으로 포복하고기 나가 누구를 나가 그것을 밖으로 얻을기것을 돕 하기 필요로 나는 이 플래쉬 등을고 있다!

Translated : No, you Idiots! I'm NOT trying to tell a story. I'm holding this flashlight because an insect crawled up my nose and I need someone to help me get it out!

#11. Posted by: vacc at July 2, 2007 3:36 PM

Jin: "...and Captain Kirk says to me -

"Zulu, what's the reading on that..small..island now that the sheild..is..down."

And I answer: "Small signs of life Captain. Shall I load the torpedo bays?"

Kirk says "No...no... that's not necessary - - - Locke is..down..there. You know how he likes to blow..up..things."

#12. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 2, 2007 3:37 PM

I didn't know it was going to be this long when I started it!

_______________________________________

JOHNNIE, BEN, AND THE HAUNTED HOUSE

Johnnie and Ben were wandering through the dark, dark woods. The wind whistled through the trees like whispers, and small animals would occassionally scurry into the undergrowth at their approach.

"I still think you're lying," whined Johnnie, "Everyone knows you're a liar liar pants on fire."

Ben, who was a few steps in front, looked back at Johnnie, and stared with his buggy eyes.

"You'll see... I'm telling the truth about Him."

He picked up the pace and trampled further ahead. Johnnie matched his pace, reached into his pocket, and retrieved a licquorice stick to chew on. It was his last one

"How much further? I'm almost out of supplies!"

Ben had climbed atop a giant tree root. He turned to look at Johnnie, and placed a finger to his lips.

"Shhhhh! We're there!"

The skies chose this moment to darken with rain clouds, and a chill wind snaked through the forest. Johnnie chewed pensively on his licquorice, and climbed up beside Ben.

Hidden in shadows and darkness, covered with creepers and fleshlike fungi, was a ruined and foreboding house. A half eaten stick of licquorice fell from Johnnie's lips to the undergrowth.

"I-in th-there?"

Ben hitched his satchel further up his shoulder, and set off towards the house.

"Come on."

Johnnie watched Ben reach the oaken door, pull the rusty latch, and push it open on creaking hinges. Ben cast a last glance backward as he stepped into the shadows within.

Muttering, "Liar... liar... you know he's a liar...", Johnnie willed himself into action. As on feet of lead, and legs of jelly, he half stumbled towards the door. As he reached the threshold, he saw a flame light inside, and made out Ben holding a lantern.

"Come in. It's safe... for now"

Johnnie stepped through the doorway, brushing cobwebs from his face. Ben stood behind a heavy wooden table, beside a gnarled rocking chair. Johnnie breathed in the musty air, his eyes adjusting to the dimness.

"Close the door Johnnie... he won't come out in the light."

Johnnie closed the door, jumping as the latched clicked in to place. When he spoke, it was with a dry throat.

"Well, where is He? If He exists."

Ben look quizzical, "He's right here!"

"What? Where!?!"

"Right here! In the chair... don't you see him?"

"Of course I don't see him. There's no one there!"

Ben leant towards the chair, "He says he can't see you..." Ben turned his ear to the chair and nodded as though listening. Turning to Johnnie he said, "You won't see Him unless you get closer. That's what He says. Come closer Johnnie."

"You're insane!"

"Please Johnnie, come closer, you'll see..."

Johnnie shrugged in annoyance and stepped closer.

"Still can't see anything!"

"Closer." Another step, "Closer!" and another, "Even closer!"

Johnnie was next to the chair now. He leant down, and said, "I still can't see-"

From the darkness in the corner of the room came a blood curdling scream!

A terrible visage of rags and wild hair leapt out at Johnnie, unspeakable limbs reaching out for him. Johnnie fell back on to the dusty floor, scrambling to the door way, a cry of terror lodged in his throat. As he he reached for the latch, he heard an unexpected sound.

Ben was laughing.

Johnnie looked at Ben, who was bent over double, tears of laughter streaming down his face. Johnnie shouted, "Why are you...?!?"

He didn't complete his question. The monsterous figure with the wild hair had stopped... and was removing his mask. A laughing face with dark eyes was revealed.

"Ricky Alpert! You bastard!"

Johnnie sprang up in a rage of humiliation, and dove for Ricky. Ricky was still laughing as Johnnie tackled him. They fell to the floor as one, rolling around knocking furniture flying.

They hit the table, the chairs, and banged into some rickety old shelves.

The shelves wobbled.

An object on the shelves wobbled.

The object fell from the shelves.

And landed.

And broke.

Ash fell from inside the broken urn, spilling across the floor boards. A deep rumbling began, shaking the room like an earthquake. Johnnie and Ricky stopped fighting, and looked about at the trembling structure. They stood, grabbing on to furniture to keep balance. The tremors increased with a deafening sound. Violent, destructive.

And then they stopped.

The boys look at each other. Johnnie was about to ask 'what was that', when a voice came from everywhere and nowhere:

"WHO DISTURBS MY REST?"

The boys ran for the door. The old iron lock banged shut.

A wind began to whip the ash off the floor.

Ben cried, "What's happening?"

The ash began to move like a sandstorm.

Ben grabbed Johnnie by the shoulders, and shouted, "What are we going to do!!!!"

The storm extinguished the lantern and the room was pitch black.

Through the abrasive scouring of the whirlwind of ash, the boys heard the strange voice one last time, answering Ben's question. It said,

"YOU WILL DIE!!!"

#13. Posted by: Danny at July 2, 2007 4:07 PM

Jin: "And that's the horrid tale of Rosie O'Donnell."

Hurley: "That's scary. What does she look like again?"

Jin: "Exactly like you!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

#14. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at July 2, 2007 4:28 PM

Windows VIsta is HERE!

Run away! Run Away!

#15. Posted by: Cecil Rose at July 2, 2007 4:49 PM

hazy-eyed Jin:

"Hiccup, uh ... hiccu ... uh, pass the gin!"

#16. Posted by: ButchM at July 2, 2007 6:22 PM

The reports were running on WBEN all day, but she hadn’t paid much attention to them. Mostly because they were in French, but also she was preoccupied with her big date that night. Some crazy man had escaped from the Looking Glass station. They were calling him the Hook Man since he had his right arm blown off and had it replaced with a hook. He was a killer, and everyone on the island was warned to keep watch and report anything suspicious. But this didn't interest her. She was more worried about what to wear for her new boyfriend, Karl. She wanted to look good, because Karl could have his pick of any girl at Black Rock High. He was captain of the crew team and all-around BMOI. After conferring with her best friend Cindy, she decided to wear an old tank-top, dungarees and Cindy loaned her a scarf. She was all ready to go.

He picked her up in the VW Bus, which was so cool, cause it was loaded with beer. They went to see a movie, but after driving around a meadow in circles for an hour, they remembered there was no theater on the island. So they went parking in the local lover’s lane. Karl moved the skeleton off the back seat and they made themselves comfortable. The scarf was a hit, and she cuddled close as they kissed to the sound of Shambala on the radio.

Then the Frenchwoman DJ came on and repeated the warning she had heard that afternoon. An insane killer with a hook in place of his right hand was loose in the area. Suddenly, the dark, moonless night didn't seem so romantic to her. The lover's lane was secluded and off the beaten track (literally). In fact, it was in the Dark Territory. A perfect spot for a deranged mad-man to lurk, she thought, pushing her amorous boyfriend away.

"Maybe we should get out of here," she said. "That Hook Man sounds dangerous."

"Awe, c'mon babe, it's nothing," her boyfriend said, trying to get in another kiss. She pushed him away again.

"No, really. We're all alone out here. I'm scared," she said.

They argued for a moment. Then they heard a scraping noise, as if something…or someone…had touched the van. She gave a shriek and said: "Get us out of here now!"

"Jeeze," her boyfriend said in disgust, but he turned the key and went roaring out of lover's lane and down the mountainside with a screech of the tires.

They drove home in stony silence, and when they pulled onto the beach, he refused to help her out of the van. He was being so unreasonable, she fumed to herself. She opened the door indignantly and stepped out with her chin up and her lips set. Whirling around, she slammed the door as hard as she could. And then she screamed.

Karl leapt out of the van and caught her in his arms. "What is it? What's wrong?" he shouted. Then he saw it. A bloody hook hung from the handle of the passenger-side door!!

Or maybe not. On closer inspection it was just Roger Workman’s skeletal finger that got snagged in the doorframe. Some blood must’ve dripped on it earlier when she was preparing their bunny burger snacks. They looked at each other sheepishly and chuckled in relief.

“Well, I better get this van back to the meadow before Hurley misses it,” he said.

They stepped closer for a goodnight kiss. As she leaned in, out of the corner of her eye she noticed a shape rising up in the night. She whirled around with a gasp as a man walked slowly out of the ocean and onto the beach. “Who is that?” she whispered to Karl.

“I think…I think it’s that Russian, Mikhail. My God…where’s his eye patch? He’s hideous!” said Karl, squinting to see better in the darkness.

AAAHHHOOOOOOOO!!! AAAHHHOOOOOOOO!!! Suddenly, crashing noises signaled the arrival of the Monster, and they spun toward the jungle in horror. Karl went running for the van, as trees were thrown up by their roots and the air grew heavy with the presence of black smoke. The girl didn’t know where to turn! The van’s back wheels churned up sand as Karl fishtailed down the beach, blubbering and yelling her pet name back through the open window, “Solly, dolly!!!”

She fell to her knees in terror and as the column of black smoke rose up over her, she began to weep helplessly. But unexpectedly, the Monster swooped to the side and around her out toward the ocean where Mikhail stood, a dark and still figure with the water lapping at his feet.

AAAHHHOOOOOOOO!!! As the Monster reared back to strike, Mikhail threw his left hand up in the air and an object arced through the night sky. KABOOOMMMM!!! A grenade exploded in the center of the black smoke, obliterating it with blinding fire. They were safe!

The girl ran down the beach to her rescuer and grabbed his left arm and his…empty right sleeve. “Thank God,” she said. “I was afraid you were the Hook Man.” And the man looked at her with a smile and said, “Don't worry, little girl. My hook is....STILL IN YOUR FATHER'S HEAD!"

#17. Posted by: Clementine at July 3, 2007 12:45 AM

Hey guys, take a look. I can feel the stubble, but can you see any facial hair?

#18. Posted by: FenwayBen at July 3, 2007 4:17 AM

Hey Clementine/17 - Great story, but I thought the ending was going to be something like "Me? The Hook Man? Naaaah - I got rid of the hook after I POKED MY OWN EYEBALL OUT!!!"

#19. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 3, 2007 10:49 AM

In the above posting, I meant to say "Great story - EXCEPT for the bunny burger part..." A actually said "Oh Gawd" right out loud in the office. I almost created a gopher peek effect in the surrounding cubes.

Guess I better get to WORK now. Darn you Clementine...

#20. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 3, 2007 10:56 AM

Re: above post by me: "A actually said..."

I'd like to buy a vowel? An 'I' please."

#21. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 3, 2007 11:31 AM

@21 BunnyLover said:

>Re: above post by me: "A actually said..."

We just thought it was the Southern accent. "Ah acshully sayed..."

#22. Posted by: Cecil Rose at July 3, 2007 12:19 PM

CecilRose--
Are yew acshully Al Gore?
"Good thang I acshully invantad the Internat oh we woodant ha-ave this wondehful blog to cha-at on!"

#23. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 3, 2007 12:36 PM

OMDC,

Very nicely done. Seems sort of hostile towards prosthetically-enhanced serial killers though. Where's the love I ask you? But it's funny because it's mean and it happened to someone else.

#24. Posted by: ransomjackson at July 3, 2007 1:10 PM

BunnyLover/19: I much prefer your ending with Patchy gouging his eyeball out with the hook! Very good! I used Jin's line from the show but wasn't happy with it.

Remember when Crispy Seaplanes was dreaming about Lost and this blog? Well, I believe I made light of it at the time and now must apologize (sorry, Cwispy). I also seem to be experiencing Lost Blog madness. Not only did I wake up singing Shambala, but I can't get the darn "aaoohh, yeah, yeah, yeah" chorus out of my head (I'm considering gouging my own eyeballs out. MAKE IT STOP!!)

And also, I used Crispy's "BOOGEDY!BOOGEDY!BOOGEDY!!!!!" to scare someone in a meeting this morning. That went over well. : ))

Perhaps this is what Rousseau meant when she said they all became "infected."

#25. Posted by: Clementine at July 3, 2007 1:24 PM

Ba-yak on subjhek:

Jin is actually telling the following horrific story. Even though his English is bad, he memorized the following and spoke it in his best "Tim" voice. Rather than type it out, please view the following. (Note - this is not for the faint hearted. Contains graphic bunny violence and is rated BV-13.)

http://tinyurl*com/2p6gt2

(replace * with .)

#26. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 3, 2007 1:26 PM

@ Clementine/25 - "Not only did I wake up singing Shambala, but I can't get the darn "aaoohh, yeah, yeah, yeah" chorus out of my head..."

Oh no you did NOT just put that song in my head. MAKE IT STOP! I've been infected too!!! AAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Double darn you Clementine...

#27. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 3, 2007 1:42 PM

Clementine--
Did I forget to tell you all I'm contagious? So sorry!

#28. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 3, 2007 1:50 PM

Ya'll are obviously crazy. I put on a surgical mask everytime I log onto the LOST Blog.

#29. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at July 3, 2007 2:38 PM

I'm not a doctor, but I've seen one (overact badly) on TV. Judging by the symptoms you describe, it sounds like you all are suffering from Shambalitis, a non-fatal affliction which is characterized by feelings of lonliness and desertion, frequent bowel movements, and punctuated by moments of light-headed giddiness and creativity, often accompanied by sensations of having to "wash away one's pain and shame with rain". Many Shambalitis sufferers describe a recurring yet haunting melody ringing in their ears, a desire to run people over in a VW Microbus while drinking stale beer, and a compulsion to shine a flashlight up one's nose. Often, Shambalitis can be cured by heavy consumption of alcohol and Buffalo-style chicken wings.

#30. Posted by: ransomjackson at July 3, 2007 2:44 PM

HRJ: Thank you, thank you for the diagnosis. I was just about to make an appt at the House blog. But can the cure be effective when I enjoy it so much?

Crispy: (I'm speaking to you through a tissue) Take some antibiotics (or psychotropics) before you log on next time! Good cereal, bad attitude! Now we'll all be cuckoo for Crispy Seaplanes.

Red...Neck...Man: If this disease is terminal, can we at least see the much-promised picture of you with the award before we expire?

#31. Posted by: Clementine at July 3, 2007 3:14 PM

BTW, just went over to "Through the Looking Glass" and Red...Neck...Man is exhibiting major symptoms. Guess that surgical mask idea doesn't really work.

#32. Posted by: Clementine at July 3, 2007 3:23 PM

picture coming...and yes, I've been bitten by the Lostonian Spidoris Majoris...which besides paralysis, evidently makes you spurt out poetry like there's no tomorrow....I wonder if Paolikki has a masterworks buried with them by now?

#33. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at July 3, 2007 4:06 PM

Jin: No Hurley, I, am your father!

Hurley: Cool dude!

#34. Posted by: d vader at July 3, 2007 9:04 PM

And when he woke up in the morning she was still in his bed!

And then she wanted to make him eggs!

And then he said oh i don't have time i have a meeting at 12:30 and she said its okay i can drive you there!

And then he said no, no its at my office its like a half hour commute and she said I dont mind its on the way to my kids preschool!!!!!!

#35. Posted by: quagmire at July 5, 2007 9:47 PM

@quagmire/35: LOL!!!!!!!!! That was hysterical. (But only terrifying to the male of the species.)

#36. Posted by: Clementine at July 6, 2007 8:05 AM

"All that is mystifying will be enlightened . . your journey will have meaning if you will just take the flashlight from my hand, grasshopper . . "

WHOOOSH! PWOOF!

"So sorry, grasshopper . . perhaps in the future . . "

RNM: "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Hurley: "Wow. That was close dude . . "

#37. Posted by: davidrh at July 6, 2007 9:13 AM

@quagmire #35 : Giggity Giggity!! LOL!!

#38. Posted by: vacc at July 6, 2007 9:22 AM

"Yeah, I did eat some of the watermelon growing by the hatch's nuclear reactor. Why?"

#39. Posted by: bcre8ve at July 6, 2007 10:50 AM

Jin: "And that's the long, torrid story of my year-long affair with a man I call Kareem."

Hurley: "Dude, I've got something to tell you."

#40. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at July 6, 2007 11:49 AM

- Jin caption -
"I'm not taking a DARE with you guys, so I'll take TRUTH... honestly, for nearly the last two years I've had her totally convinced that I am one hundred percent sterile... man, I've got three kids on the side... whew, it feels good to get that off my chest... promise me you won't say a word to her... Hurley, you're a gossip so - ZIP IT!"

#41. Posted by: DocH at July 6, 2007 12:50 PM

Jin -
Confucious say man who scratch his a$$ should not bite fingernails.Yes you Hurley-san. I see you when you think noone is watching.
And you Charlie - Conufucious say crowded elevator smell different to a hobbit.
And you Desmond - Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.Pass the Dharma-bong Hurley-san.


#42. Posted by: katespanties at July 9, 2007 1:37 PM

Okay, one more shot at this...

and Jin says: "Ben has told me some stories of a mysterious being on this island named Jacob. He says he walks barefoot most of the time, which gives him an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also eats very little, which makes him rather frail and, with his odd diet (like rabbits and boar), he suffers from bad breath. This makes him **in a loud scary voice** A SUPER CALLOUSED FRAGILE MYSTIC HEXED BY HALITOSIS!!!!"

#43. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 11, 2007 2:57 PM

@43 BunnyLover - that was a work of art. Very nicely done.

#44. Posted by: katespanties at July 11, 2007 4:16 PM

Jin; Please pass the marshmallows!

#45. Posted by: irishlass at July 12, 2007 9:44 AM

HAIKU cont:

asian man scares all
beachside story leads to crash
wife has fertile eggs

#46. Posted by: MorBid0 at September 7, 2007 11:04 PM