The Lost Blog

Lost Caption: Got Milk?

Jack and Locke invite the Other Formerly Known as Henry Gale to enjoy a bowl of lip smacking Dharma Initiative Cereal.

All that's needed is the perfect caption to make this a complete balanced breakfast..

Top prize for this week's best caption is your picture on a box of Dharma Yum Yum's!

Post your caption(s) through the comments area at the bottom of the page as we go back to Season Two and the hatch to learn "The Whole Truth" - In this week's Lost Photo Caption.


Lost Breakfast Cereal

"You know, Henry, I've been eating these things for a month now and I think my depression has really lifted a bit . . My eyes are brighter . . I feel spunkier . . my libido is raging . .

Oh wait a minute! I was thinking this was a BayWatch episode . .

Nevermind."

#1. Posted by: davidrh at July 9, 2007 12:27 PM

# I'd rather have a bowl of coco-pops #

#2. Posted by: RobstaMobsta at July 9, 2007 12:51 PM

"Got any Scotch?"

#3. Posted by: Cecil Rose at July 9, 2007 12:54 PM

Locke: "What's this stuff?"

Jack: "Some cereal."

Locke: "Did you try it?"

Jack: "I'm not gonna try it- YOU try it."

Locke: "I'm not gonna try it. Hey! Let's get Benry!"

Jack: "He won't eat it; he hates everything."

Locke: "He likes it! Hey Benry!"

#4. Posted by: Clementine at July 9, 2007 1:00 PM

hate to go with the obvious but...

Locke: "I know they're not Crispy Seaplanes but when you're stranded on a deserted island you have to tkae what you can get!"

#5. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 9, 2007 1:43 PM

A few came to mind:

1) I dunno what the fuss is all about ... this "Henry Gale" doesn't seem like such a bad guy.

Or ...

2) Geez, I can't believe I have three more seasons with this bug-eyed freak.

Or ...

3) Hope he doesn't think he's getting that special edition DHARMA decoder ring.

#6. Posted by: CGB III at July 9, 2007 2:04 PM

Locke: "I shoulda guessed there'd be 108 calories per serving."

#7. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at July 9, 2007 2:11 PM

Locke: "Jack! I don't like him either but for God's sake man... Can't you see his eyes have already snapped, crackled and popped?! Stop feeding him that stuff!"

#8. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 9, 2007 2:22 PM

Locke to Benry: "Hurry up and eat that junk so you can take me to see Jacob!"

Locke to himself:'Take your time you delicious little man. I could sit here and watch you chew all day. It's mesmerizing...'

#9. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 9, 2007 2:34 PM

Locke: Let me get this straight... Dharma Flakes come in a magic box... and taste of whatever I want...?

*Munch*Munch*Munch*

Hmmmmm... odd taste... like greasy old meat, with an odour like a Tallahassee highway. They might taste better hot.

Ben: No... trust me, revenge is best served cold *evil grin*

#10. Posted by: Danny at July 9, 2007 2:37 PM

Benry: "Mmmm...tastes just like chicken from my refrigerator!"

Locke: (sigh)'chicken in a refrigerator...he'll just never understand this island will he?'

#11. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 9, 2007 2:37 PM

Locke: "I can't believe he chews with his mouth open...ugh...where did he grow up, on a island or something?"

#12. Posted by: Alaïs_Longthought at July 9, 2007 3:06 PM

Show'em you're an Other, Show'em what you can do, the taste of Benry's Frosted Flakes, brings out the Other in you, in you!

#13. Posted by: lavenderlady at July 9, 2007 3:15 PM

“Always after me Dharma Charms, the frosted oat cereal with sweet surprises! Polar bears, rusty hatches, talking frogs, smokey monsters and messianic leaders!

Frosted Dharma Charms, they’re magic-box delicious!"

#14. Posted by: Deep Cover at July 9, 2007 3:31 PM

Locke: "All we have is skim milk you little bastard!"

-that's my mean reaction to seeing too many Crispy Seaplanes references...man, are we gonna kill that one or what?!?!

#15. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at July 9, 2007 4:50 PM

@Clem - Hey Mikey, I mean Benry! That's neat.

Locke: Where's the coffee servers?
Benry: They don't get along, there's trouble brewing.


Jack: That cereal looks nasty! Can't you at least put it thru a colander?
Locke: Nuh, it's too much of a strain.


Jack: I can't eat this crap with those damn bears hanging around.
Locke: What bears are you referring to?
Jack: It's Yogi, Smoky, and Pooh - they're going around the island taking a gawd damned poll!!
Benry: Jack, for crying our loud, they are poller bears!

#16. Posted by: ButchM at July 9, 2007 8:43 PM

One can never have too many Crispy Seaplanes references! :) They're grrrrrrrrrreat!

#17. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 10, 2007 9:09 AM

Locke: Sit down, Henry. Pour yourself a bowl of Dharma Tasty O's.

A smile spreads across the prisoner's face. This is the moment he had been waiting for. His hand trembled with excitement as he poured from the box..

-------------------------------------
Cue On-Island Flashback - 10 days ago.
--------------------------------------
A rabbit hops past the Swan hatch and hears an interestng sound... "Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!"

Rabbit : (To himself) "Those castaways are eating Dharma Tasty O's cereal... And this disguise will get me some."

He zippers his bug-eyed human costume and takes a step towards the hatch when he is suddenly hoisted to the treetops - rabbit was trapped in a rope net!

A few hours later, Rabbit hears Rousseau and Sayid approaching. "My name is Henry Gale", the rabbit said very convincingly after Sayid cut him down.

"He's not who he says he is" Danielle warned Sayid. "He will lie for a very long time" she said.

"Is he one of them?" Sayid asked.

"Oh no, he's much worse" Danielle replied. "He's the Rabbit!"

Sayid rolls his eyes - he no longer needed to be convinced that Rousseau was completely mad.

Rabbit has heard enough - no sugary breakfast cereal was worth this! He began to scamper away from the humans when ... THWUNK! The woman's arrow had pierced his disguise and went straight through his soft, fluffy shoulder.

-------------------------------------
End On-Island Flashback - return to present day
-------------------------------------

Rabbit : (pops some cereal into his mouth) "Crunch! Crunch!....Hey! Wait a second! These aren't Dharma Tasty O's! th..th..they're... k...k...k.."

With a thunderous BOOM! Rabbit explodes, covering Locke and the walls of the hatch with furry remains and patches of the Henry Gale costume.

Locke : "Silly Rabbit... Dharma Tasty O's are for kids! Those were Ka-Booms!"

#18. Posted by: vacc at July 10, 2007 4:23 PM

I vote for #4 Clementine, but I gotta try anyway...

John: Milk? You want milk? Oh Ben, you know you've already killed and eaten all the lactating mammals on this island. Did it ever occur to you that maybe you have to wait until AFTER the women around here give birth before you milk them to death? So unless you're willing to try to milk a cat like my old friend Gaylord Focker...

OR

John: You know Ben, it's not so much that you're cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs as it is you're just friggin' cuckoo.

OR

John: And you thought Grape Nuts were bad...these things'll hurt twice.

#19. Posted by: ransomjackson at July 10, 2007 4:33 PM

#18 rated BV-13 for Bunny Violence. All bunny lovers must be accompanied by an adult.

MMMmmm, but I do love Ka-Booms! With PiecesofArzt in every box.

Good one, vacc!

#20. Posted by: Clementine at July 10, 2007 4:37 PM

(heavy sigh) Will the bunny hatin ever stop?!?

(Hey Crispy - did you get the check?)

#21. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 10, 2007 5:11 PM

Locke thinking to himself: "Sure would like to have some of those Ka-Booms. Wonder if I can blow up something with them. Hummm... blow up something... now THAT's an idea! Wonder if there's a submarine or something like that around here. Hummm..."

#22. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 10, 2007 5:23 PM

"Now how am I gonna use this cereal to ruin everyone's escape plans? What would MacGyver do..."

#23. Posted by: Wrathbringer at July 11, 2007 9:36 AM

Locke: "Ben, seriously....do I look like The Thinker sitting like this?"

#24. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at July 11, 2007 1:23 PM

Bunny Lover--

The bank's giving me a little trouble cashing it. It seems there's no money but only a whole mess of colored eggs in your account!
Friggin' check!
Besides I've been making real progress in my therapy sessions. you might need to find a new hitman!

#25. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 11, 2007 1:57 PM

Shoot... sorry about that Crispy. (Not about your therapy, but about the check.) I must have written it out against my Easter Account. (My favorite holiday - go figure...)

#26. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 11, 2007 2:17 PM

Locke: "I sure would like some of those Ka-Booms..."

Paolo (Secretly doing what he does in the hatch bathroom): "Forget Ka-Booms...I'll stick with my Ker-Plops!"

Benry: "What's that smell????"

#27. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 11, 2007 2:51 PM

Locke caption/thought...
"Dang it - I could have had a V-8!"

#28. Posted by: DocH at July 11, 2007 4:02 PM

(I posted this earlier under the "Jin Face" caption, but figured not many of you would see it. So, I re-wrote it for this caption. Hope you enjoy... BL)

Benry to Locke: "I came here for you, Locke. I need to tell you of a mysterious being on this island named Jacob. He's special John. He walks barefoot most of the time, which gives him an impressive, yet ugly, set of calluses on his feet. He also eats very little, which makes him rather frail. HE..has...no CEREAL at ALL and, with his only diet of poor..innocent..rabbits and nasty..smelly boar, he suffers from extremely bad breath."

Locke interrupts: "So... what you're saying is... this Jacob person is actually a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis?"

(Jack spews milk out his nose...)

#29. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 11, 2007 6:57 PM


hmmmmmmm . . .

BAD PUN CONTEST anyone?


(B.L. has surged into the lead . . . Not that that's a good thing, you understand . . )


#30. Posted by: davidrh at July 11, 2007 8:04 PM

BunnyLover: Doggone you, now I'm gonna dream about Mary Poppins and wake up singing that song! That was quite the set-up but the pay-off was totally worth it! LOL!

#31. Posted by: Clementine at July 11, 2007 9:39 PM

"I prolly manufactured that box..."

#32. Posted by: sdrawkcabton88 at July 11, 2007 10:26 PM

If you guys want a bad pun contest - - - BRING IT ON!

So, two fish are swimming around in their innocent little lake. All of a sudden *bam* they both swim into a cement wall. One says to the other... "DAM!"

I rest my case...

#33. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 11, 2007 10:27 PM

@BunnyLover : LOL!! (and sorry for the bunny explosion in my earlier entry..) please don't turn the photo caption into a Bad Pun Contest - because I can't win!!

The last time I entered a Bad Pun Contest, I submitted ten of my favorite gems, figuring that one had to be good enough to win... but No Pun In Ten Did!!

#34. Posted by: vacc at July 12, 2007 12:07 AM

@30 davidrh said:

>BAD PUN CONTEST anyone?

Is there such a thing as a good pun?

#35. Posted by: Cecil Rose at July 12, 2007 10:01 AM

@35 Cecil Rose asked: "Is there such a thing as a good pun?"

I don't know, but I think vacc's #34 was pretty darn good. "No pun intended." sweet...

Here's an example of a bad one:
So a termite walks into a bar and says "Hey, where's the bar tender?"

#36. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 12, 2007 10:22 AM

That was two thirds of a pun - PU!

Do you know why Eskimoes wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it's too cold outtide.

#37. Posted by: bcre8ve at July 12, 2007 11:43 AM

After the Losties were rescued, Jack found out that Dharma had replaced him with a clone back in the real world.

At first Jack was ok with this because, afterall, the clone went to work for him, cleaned his house, and did pretty much anything Jack didn't want to do himself.

There is only one drawback... the clone has a potty mouth. Every other word out of his mouth is a cuss word.

Jack knows he has to do something because the clone is giving him a bad reputation. So he takes the clone to the top of the tallest building in town and pushes him off.

When he get back out to his car he is arrested for making an obscene clone fall.

#38. Posted by: bcre8ve at July 12, 2007 11:53 AM

Ben: "Cereal John? Cereal? Can you do nothing right? What are you a darn flake? I didn't ask for Dharma Flakes!What I asked for was SEARED EEL!"

#39. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 12, 2007 12:04 PM

I like listening to Big Pun.

#40. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at July 12, 2007 1:39 PM

Locke : Sit down, Henry. Have some cereal.
Ben : I don't think I can do that, John.
Locke : Don't tell me what you can't do!! Now be quiet and eat your breakfast!

(Ben grabs the box, hands shaking, and he begins to pour. The box of cereal shakes violently as first flakes are tossed in every direction. )

Ben: I'm sorry John. I told you, I can't do this.

(Locke takes the box from his prisoner, empties a generous serving into a bowl, adds some Dharma Milk, and hands it back across the table.
Ben extends both hands, and as he takes the bowl from Locke, the shaking resumes - even more violently. The table quickly becomes a mess of flakes and milk.)

John : What's wrong with you? Why can't you pour and eat your own breakfast?

Ben : Because I have I have Cereal-Bowl Palsy.

#41. Posted by: vacc at July 12, 2007 3:13 PM

@41 Vacc - LOL!! Nice, very nice.

@37 bcre8ve - You said "That was two thirds of a pun - PU!" You must not have gotten it...? Termite wants some tender wood to eat... hence: "where's the bar tender?" Get it? Huh? Ya get it?

#42. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 12, 2007 3:26 PM

Ben to Locke: So, why do I have to eat THIS kind of cereal? Why can't I have what she's having. (Pointing to Ana Lucia.)

Locke: She wanted to eat Alphabits cereal so I letter.

#43. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 12, 2007 3:40 PM

Ben : Is this what Kate had for breakfast?
Locke : No, she wanted to eat Alphabits cereal... So I letter.

#44. Posted by: vacc at July 12, 2007 3:45 PM

Locke to Ben: Here, eat this cereal.

Ben: But I'd rather have what you're having.

Locke: This is my cheese, so please, leave my provolone.

#45. Posted by: PunnyLover (aka BunnyLover) at July 12, 2007 3:47 PM

Wow vacc! You and I must be stealing puns from the same place! Either that, or warped minds think alike!

#46. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 12, 2007 3:50 PM

@#43 BunnyLover : Great minds think alike. You beat me to the punchline on that one. So I withdraw my last entry and humbly submit the following in its place :

Locke : (eats a spoonful of Dharma Cereal and immediately begins coughing ).. "Cough!.. Cough! .. .. pass the milk please"
Ben : That's why the Colts will never win a chanpionship..

(Locke is momentarily stunned. Those were the very words he had heard over and over again his whole life)

Locke : Why did you say that? Why won't the Colts ever win the championship?
Ben : Because every time they get near the Bowl, they CHOKE!!

#47. Posted by: vacc at July 12, 2007 3:51 PM

@BunnyLover/42 ""where's the bar tender?" Get it? Huh? Ya get it?"

Yeah, I get it. The "PU" I threw out was a generic one - not intended for any specific PUn.

Did you hear about the magician that walked down main street and turned into a drug store?

#48. Posted by: bcre8ve at July 12, 2007 4:20 PM

Just before the big showdown on the beach, John Locke offered to dig fox holes for the three shooters that were to lay in wait for the Others.

Sayid, being the interrogator that he is, asked him what experience he had in digging fox holes. John replied that previously as a Corporal in the Army he had been trained on digging the perfect fox hole. "Ok," Sayid says, "let's see what you've got."

John began digging.

After a while, Sayid came to check on his progress. To his surprise he sees a gently sloping 23 foot hole. "What is this?" he asked.

"Oh," replies John, I forgot to tell you that I was discharged from the Army due to my Corporal Tunnel Syndrom"

#49. Posted by: bcre8ve at July 12, 2007 4:33 PM

@48/bcre8ve "Did you hear about the magician that walked down main street and turned into a drug store?"

Nope. But the other day on my way home from work I did get behind a magic tractor! It turned into a field.

#50. Posted by: BunnyLover at July 12, 2007 4:54 PM

Did you hear about the farmer that got an award? He was out standing in his field.

#51. Posted by: bcre8ve at July 12, 2007 5:07 PM

Did you hear about the guy who went to the dentist to get some false teeth? They were pretty expensive and all he had was a dollar. So he got some buck teeth.

#52. Posted by: bcre8ve at July 12, 2007 5:12 PM

Here's one for Davidrh...

A conductor was in charge of an in-the-park tribute to Beethoven for a local community fund raiser. It was a particularly windy evening and he and the orchestra was having quite a time keeping the sheet music on the stands.

They were toward the end of "Ode to Joy" when out of nowhere a huge gust of wind came up, blowing sheets of music everywhere. This was the final straw.

The conductor called for a short recess while he took string and secured the music to the stands.

Meanwhile the bass players saw an opportunity to go across the street to a bar and indulge in a drink or two.

By the time he was ready to restart, the conductor found himself in quite a quandary. It seems he was in the bottom of the 9th, with the scores tied, and the basses loaded.

#53. Posted by: bcre8ve at July 12, 2007 5:48 PM

@bcre8ve #52 buck teeth? Once a Pun a Time there was a Pirate who wanted to buy gold earrings for his mother but had to settle for silver ones because he could only spend a Buck-An-Ear.

Okay, here's (hopefully) my last Bad Pun entry - while trying not to stray too far from the caption...

TV-Guide Listing
=================
LOST : Wednesday 9 pm on ABC
Season 4 Ep 2 : Breakfast Epiphanies

Description:
Lock and Ben's discussion about classic movies while sharing Dharma Cereal leads to startling revelations.

#54. Posted by: vacc at July 12, 2007 5:55 PM

Ok BL and vacc and others!!!!!!

If you see two epileptics in a swimming pool, what should you do?

'
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'
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Throw in a load of wash!

#55. Posted by: ButchM at July 12, 2007 6:30 PM

My previous entry was not a pun, but a joke.

Sorry about that. Here's my pun:

Did you hear about the farmer who was outstanding in his field?

#56. Posted by: ButchM at July 12, 2007 6:35 PM

Dagnab it - I guess I should read All the posts b4 submitting one. Sorry abut that bcre8ve.

#57. Posted by: ButchM at July 12, 2007 6:38 PM

So Steven Spielberg has decided to do a movie about great composers, but they usually make a lot of money, so to solve for this they decide to cast some of the biggest names in Hollywood. One by one he calls up superstars to ask them who they'd be interested in playing.

Sylvester Stallone told him, “I’ve always admired Mozart. I would love to play him.”

“Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano,” replied Willis. “I’ll play him.”

“I’ve always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes,” said Segall. “I’d like to play him.”

Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. Finally he rung up his pal Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“I’ll be Bach.”

#58. Posted by: FenwayBen at July 12, 2007 7:16 PM

Oops, I'd like to buy a "don't". They usually DON'T make a lot of money...

#59. Posted by: FenwayBen at July 12, 2007 7:43 PM

"You know it says here on the box that if you collect five proofs of purchase you can send away for a free pregnant Korean woman!"

#60. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 13, 2007 7:42 AM

Okay, youse got me. Outstanding efforts all around, and I'm not usually a big fan of puns. But I'll throw my fave out there just for snicks and giggles.

There's this family of moles living in a burrow in a farmer's field. Daddy mole sticks his nose up out of his hole, takes a sniff, and says, "I think Farmer Brown is having breakfast. I can smell pancakes." Mama mole sticks her nose up out of the hole and says, "I think you're right. I smell bacon." Baby mole tries to stick his nose up out of the hole, but there's no room left. He says, "All I can smell is molasses."

#61. Posted by: ransomjackson at July 13, 2007 8:04 AM

Davidrh here.

OK, FenwayBen, a little clarification . . is it MOVIES about composers don’t make money , , or COMPOSERS that don’t make money . . .? . . I may have picked the wrong career . . .

ButchM, #55 . . . Congrats, buddy, I think you won the “groaner” AND “Bad Taste” award all in one fell swoop! . . .

And bcre8ve, #53 - Thanks for the dedication. I’ve been there.

And vacc - I know you’re trying . .
Mother and daughter,
Ben and Richard,
Jin and flashlight, and
lastly,
Locke and “Henry Gale”
and you can’t get any of us to stay on track, can you?
(It’s a heavy burden you endure, brother . . )

These last 45 postings have been like revisiting a
Bennett Cerf Joke Book Trivia Party . . .
(Cecil Rose can probably explain who Bennett Cerf was for you
young’uns if you ask him nicely . . )

And speaking of conducting - I’m out of here until the 23rd of July, so everybody behave themselves and stay true to the cause . . .

I’ll have to spend the next week keeping my basses in line . . .

#62. Posted by: davidrh at July 13, 2007 9:10 AM

@davidrh/62

Or making sure you have all of your basses covered.

#63. Posted by: bcre8ve at July 13, 2007 10:24 AM

63 Reduex...

Make sure that your instrumentalists have insurance. It's always good to know that you have all of your basses covered.

#64. Posted by: bcre8ve at July 13, 2007 10:31 AM

@62 davidrh said:

>...revisiting a Bennett Cerf Joke Book Trivia Party . . . (Cecil Rose can probably explain who Bennett Cerf was for you young’uns if you ask him nicely . . )

Vint Cerf's daddy?

http://en*wikipedia*org/wiki/Vinton_Cerf

Nah, I really do remember Bennett Cerf - publisher, raconteur, game show panelist...

http://en*wikipedia*org/wiki/Bennett_Cerf

Has changing the * to . become standard enough here that I can drop the instructions?

#65. Posted by: Cecil Rose at July 13, 2007 12:07 PM

Isn't Shia LaBouef doing Bennett Cerf's voice in the new movie Cerf's Up?

#66. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at July 13, 2007 1:07 PM

A Rabbi was windsurfing off the shore of Australia, when a strange storm took hold of his board. He blacked out, and came to on a part of the island we (and the Losties) have not yet seen. The injured and exhausted Rabbi was nursed back to health by a group of very tiny people, only one foot tall, who called themselves the Trids.

One day, as he was contemplating his strange fate, and trying to figure out why his compass didn't work, the Rabbi espied an evil looking man with a bugeyed stare striding purposefully towards the Trid villiage. The Rabbi tried to greet the new stranger, but his attempt at greeting was drowned out by the terrified shrieks of the Trids. The bugeyed stranger strode straight past the Rabbi, and snatched up a terrified Trid as it attempted to run. The bugeyed strange then proceeded to toss the Trid in the air and deliver a tremendous dropkick to the poor being, punting him a good fifty yards down the beach.

The bugeyed stranger then began to hunt for another Trid to punt, but the Rabbi interposed himself and said, "For pity's sake, have mercy on these poor little people! If you must kick someone, kick me!"

Benry just gave him a quizzical look and said, "Silly Rabbi! Kicks are for Trids!"

#67. Posted by: Deep Cover at July 13, 2007 2:22 PM

Locke: "I wonder if I should tell him that I'm not wearing any underpants."

#68. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at July 13, 2007 2:23 PM

@RNM/#68: I vote for this one as the winner of this category!

#69. Posted by: Alaïs_Longthought at July 13, 2007 5:43 PM

@62 davidrh said:

I meant the movies, and I don't have a statistical analysis, it's just part of the set up. I have no idea if a) real life composers are well paid or b) you chose the right career field. I'm hoping that a) they are and b) you did!

;)

#70. Posted by: FenwayBen at July 15, 2007 6:58 PM

Thanks Alias...'preciate it.

#71. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at July 16, 2007 9:59 AM

Is it too late to join the caption-turned-bad-pun contest?

Benry: "After breakfast I'm going swimming."
Locke: "Suit yourself."

#72. Posted by: Trinity at July 31, 2007 6:11 PM

HAIKU cont:

cripple hates low fat
box company not so bad
ben linus must die

#73. Posted by: MorBid0 at September 7, 2007 10:59 PM