The Lost Blog

Lost Caption: Man of Rage, Man of Boom

John Locke has finally discovered his true purpose on the Island - to blow things up!! After blowing the lid off the hatch, causing the meltdown of the Swan station, and obliterating the island's communication station, Locke torpedoes Jack and Juliet's chance of leaving the Island.

Post your caption(s) through the comments area at the bottom of the page. Also a quick shout out to Mac who provided the title of this week's Photo Caption in his recap of Season Three's explosive episode "The Man from Tallahassee". Namaste!


Lock blows up Submarine.jpg

Oopsy Daisy!

#1. Posted by: Clementine at August 15, 2007 7:24 PM

"You know - if you squint your eyes real tight, it looks like I'm wearing one of those big feathery headdresses like the showgirls wear in Las Vegas . . .

#2. Posted by: davidrh at August 15, 2007 7:58 PM

Locke: Whaddya think about a career as a pyrotechnician when we get off this island? I really like blowing things up! And I'm pretty good at it. Can I put this on my resume as experienced?

#3. Posted by: green at August 15, 2007 8:37 PM

Locke: Jack, Can I put you down as a reference?

#4. Posted by: green at August 15, 2007 8:42 PM

This headache is *killing* me.

#5. Posted by: mac at August 15, 2007 8:46 PM

Locke:
This little light of mine ...
I'm gonna let it shine ...

#6. Posted by: trexl at August 15, 2007 10:00 PM

Locke: "Jack, meet Smokey's nephew, Firey. Hey, where there's Smokey, there's Firey!"

#7. Posted by: Trinity at August 15, 2007 10:31 PM

My name is John Locke, and I’m addicted to destruction.

“Hi, John!”

#8. Posted by: Clementine at August 15, 2007 10:50 PM

Jack: I’m gonna kill you. But first, tell me why you’re soaking wet?

Locke: Pay no attention to the periscope over my right shoulder.

#9. Posted by: Clementine at August 15, 2007 10:51 PM

Locke: I’ll just keep blowing things up until you admit I’m right about this island.

Jack: Well, I’ll just keep screwing things up until you admit that *I’m* right about this island.

Juliet (thinking to herself): Damn, I miss public transit. Where’s a speeding bus when you need one?

#10. Posted by: Clementine at August 15, 2007 10:54 PM

The light at the end of the tunnel. Err..the dock.

#11. Posted by: GatorGal at August 15, 2007 11:18 PM

Locke: "Look Jack...no hands!"

#12. Posted by: Alaïs_Longthought at August 15, 2007 11:19 PM


"Come on baby, light my fire."

#13. Posted by: GatorGal at August 15, 2007 11:23 PM

Locke: I don’t know why you’re so angry, Jack. We’re only midway through the 3rd season. No way you were actually going to make it off the island at this point.

Jack: Do I have to spell it out for you? Me. Juliet. A confined space. You ruined my hot submarine nookie. Sawyer will never let me live this down. Mr. Bear-Cage thinks he’s the only one who can get some action! I’ll show him! Where’s that crazy Frenchwoman? I think we have a scene together down in the hold of the Black Rock.

Rousseau (hiding in the trees): Eep! (shuffle, shuffle, run)

Locke (thinking to himself): Hmm, no, I think I have that scene with Rousseau. Better go freshen up. Dynamite always makes me feel sexy.

#14. Posted by: Clementine at August 16, 2007 12:17 AM

Now throw your hands in the air
And wave 'em like you just don't care
And if you're not a square from Delaware
And you got on clean underwear
And your momma ain't on welfare

The sub the sub the sub is on fire
Say 'Ho' (Ho)
Say 'Ho' (Ho)

The sub the sub the sub is on fire
Say 'Ho' (Ho)
Say 'Ho' (Ho)

- The Sub is on Fire (Rockmaster Scott and the Dharma Three)

#15. Posted by: Danny at August 16, 2007 2:10 AM

Honestly, my stick (of dynamite) was THIS BIG!!

#16. Posted by: ANTP? at August 16, 2007 7:50 AM

Jack: Alright John, I'll make you a deal. You can blow up whatever you want on the island as long as you quit throwing knives at hot chicks!!!

#17. Posted by: JoePike at August 16, 2007 8:51 AM

That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, and when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset people DIE!

#18. Posted by: Clementine at August 16, 2007 9:06 AM

John Locke, seen here, being taken into custody for "being a bad ass"

#19. Posted by: mediaboy at August 16, 2007 11:02 AM

Locke: "Wait, Wait!! But I have good news too..... I have giant bag of marshmellows and graham crackers...does anyone have 300 extra Apollo bars? Smores-Time!!!!!"

#20. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at August 16, 2007 11:17 AM

Locke: I'm sorry Jack. You don't understand. Ever since I was a teenager, someone spoke to me in my dreams and told me my purpose in life is to blow the sub. I didn't realize until now just what that meant...

Cue Flashback - The first time Locke heard the voice was at the age of 14. He spent his entire morning wondering what "blow the sub" meant. He thought he had found his answer that afternoon when Mr. Dickey filled in for his usual math teacher.. Although Mr. Dickey had chosen to remain a close, personal friend to Locke over the years, this misunderstanding had always left a bad taste in John's mouth...

#21. Posted by: vacc at August 16, 2007 12:42 PM

@ 21, VACC

You make me laugh, and vomit in my mouth a little bit too.

#22. Posted by: ANTP? at August 16, 2007 1:15 PM

....."TOUCHDOWN!".....

#23. Posted by: Cecil Rose at August 16, 2007 2:54 PM

Locke: "Everyone like my Ghost Rider costume!"

#24. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at August 16, 2007 4:18 PM

One candle, lit.
One jetty, fifty metres long.
One attempt at the World Fart Ignition Record...

#25. Posted by: Danny at August 16, 2007 5:07 PM

"I did'nt do it."

#26. Posted by: whoops at August 16, 2007 5:29 PM

"I did'nt do it."

#27. Posted by: whoops at August 16, 2007 5:29 PM

"Uhh.. Sun did it."

#28. Posted by: joey at August 16, 2007 5:39 PM

"Uhh.. Sun did it!."

#29. Posted by: joey at August 16, 2007 5:39 PM

Director: "CUT! CUT! CUT!... Make-up! we are get WAY TOO MUCH shine off of Terry's noggin!"
Make-up: "We've used up all of the base make-up on Oahu... the only way we can kill the shine is to use black-out grease and then digitally replace the forehead of Mister Chrome Doom".
TQ: "I heard that you sum-bitch, watch your mouth with me... I've taken your garbage for three years now... what? you want a piece of me? careful... I'll go John Locke on your fannie! Props! Where are my throwing knives? Fine... Sorry, correction all, where are 'Locke's' throwing knifes? (under his breath - dang - I could have been the star of "Masters of Sci-fi" if it wasn't for this damn gig".

#30. Posted by: DocH at August 16, 2007 7:23 PM

@ #22 ANTP? - Thanks. That's the effect I was going for.
-------------------
Continuing last week's trend of cheesy song parodies, I humbly submit

[Locke]
I'm Mister Destructive
I'm Mister Fire
I'm Mister Explosive
I'm Mister Fourth of July

They call me Blast Miser,
What ever I touch
Blows apart in my clutch
I'm too much!

[Others]
He's Mister Destructive
He's Mister Fire
He's Mister Explosive
He's Mister Fourth of July

[Locke]
They call me Blast Miser,
What ever I touch
Blows apart in my clutch

[Others]
He's too much!

#31. Posted by: vacc at August 17, 2007 9:23 AM

John: Jack,I couldn’t help it “the whispers – the whispers ” they made me do it.
They said if God wanted people underwater he would have given them gills.

#32. Posted by: SamFin at August 17, 2007 12:59 PM

The new Mitchum solid anti-persperant works under the most 'heated' conditions....

#33. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at August 17, 2007 3:52 PM

not a quote here, but I just thought it would be absolutely hilarious if during Season 5, a race of giant-4-toed people show up to kick some butt, and get EXTRA ANGRY when they find out one of the island's visitors has 'blown-up' their favorite bath tub toy....the floating submarine!!

#34. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at August 17, 2007 3:55 PM

The voices inside my head made me do it!!!

#35. Posted by: Sam at August 17, 2007 8:00 PM

movie announcer guy:

"You thought the GI Joe saga was over.......we take you back to the beginning in ........Destro Rising"

"'Destro Rising' in a theater near you."

#36. Posted by: Diggler at August 17, 2007 8:29 PM

@ #34 - I am with the RNM sidebar on this one. Between now and then we find out that the infamous Jacob is really a Rabbi & that the native islanders are called Trids. When the giant 4-toed types return, then are very upset at what has happened since their last visit. They go on a rampage and chase down all of the natives and kick, boot, punt and PAT every native they find. Jacob intervenes saying that the natives shouldn't be abused, and that it was the Losties, Others, Tailies, etc... that have ruined the island. The four-toed giants look at Jacob and laugh, saying "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids".
[[very old joke]]

#37. Posted by: MorBid0 at August 18, 2007 1:12 PM

@vacc/#31: Love it! "The Year Without a Santa Claus" is my favorite Christmas show. I'm reminded of it every time I see my stepmother...she has Heat Miser hair. If Locke came near her w/a lighted match her hair products would cause her to explode just like the sub. Meow! ; )

#38. Posted by: Alaïs_Longthought at August 18, 2007 1:25 PM

@ #34 RNM, #37 MorBid0 : The way it will happen is Homer Simpson will find his way to the Island in Season 5. He'll become a series regular, and in the season finale, Homer stumbles upon the four toed statue, falls down on his knees, pounds the sand with his fits and yells, "YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP!! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!"

#39. Posted by: vacc at August 19, 2007 2:14 PM

wow! It's a long time until February. Does anyone else feel that the producers have made a horrible mistake in waiting this long??

#40. Posted by: meg at August 19, 2007 5:26 PM

@ Meg/#40: YES!!!!

#41. Posted by: Trinity at August 19, 2007 9:55 PM

Are you the same people who complained about the 16 week gap last year?

Or about the interminable re-rund the two years before?

So which scheduling solution do you prefer?

#42. Posted by: Cecil Rose at August 20, 2007 12:11 PM

almost forgot ....


... some one set us up the bomb !

#43. Posted by: trexl at August 20, 2007 1:47 PM

@Cecil Rose/42: Which scheduling solution do I prefer? Well, since you ask, I would like a new episode of Lost to air every Wednesday night ad infinitum (with the exception of major holidays and when I am on vacation). If that would result in ABC discontinuing other sub-par shows to concentrate their resources, I would gladly accept dead air in other time slots. Now we just need a major sponsor to foot the bill. Anybody know Bill Gates?

@trexl/43: I thought it was "Someone set up us the bomb." But my Engrish is not so good. And because I can't wait forever for vacc to post a photo of Sayid and Co. at the Flame station, let me add a future-flash caption in that event: "All bases of CATS were destroyed." (Warning: This post contains obscure gamer references meant only to amuse trexl and myself. And maybe Deep Cover.)

@ransomjackson, BunnyLover, bcre8ve, ButchM, et.al.: Where is everybody? I know what my excuse is, what's yours?

#44. Posted by: Clementine at August 20, 2007 3:38 PM

@Alaïs_Longthought

Thanks sweetie (you be-atch).

From Your Stepmom

;>) ;>) ;>) ;>)


@Clementine - "I have not been lost and gone forever, dreadful sorrow, ButchM."


Oh yes, the picture of Locke: "I had a dream that I was dead. The heat woke me up!"

#45. Posted by: ButchM at August 20, 2007 4:09 PM

@Clementine - is your favorite candy a Mars bar?

#46. Posted by: ButchM at August 20, 2007 4:11 PM

@ Clementine/44: It are amuse me, too!
"All your sub are belong to Locke!It is on its way to destruction. It has no chance to survive make its time. Ha ha ha."

#47. Posted by: Trinity at August 20, 2007 10:01 PM

Jack: You've gone too far this time Locke... you even blew off your own legs! Now look at you!

#48. Posted by: green at August 20, 2007 10:08 PM

@Butch M/aka Stepmonster/#45: Anytime...now all your hair product are belong to me—but you can keep your matches! ; >

#49. Posted by: Alaïs_Longthought at August 20, 2007 11:40 PM

@ clementine
- you're right, I mistyped up it ;)

#50. Posted by: trexl at August 21, 2007 12:14 PM

@ 44/Clementine - "Where is everybody? I know what my excuse is, what's yours?"

Ummmm, well, my excuse is I've been out of town for almost two weeks helping my daughter HAVE A BABY!! She was due on the 10th, but didn't have my beautiful grand-daughter until Sunday, the 19th. I'm back home now and catching up on all the fun I missed here on the best blog ever!

Missed all of you!

Bunny/Grand-daughterLover

#51. Posted by: BunnyLover at August 22, 2007 9:57 AM

Locke: "Now THAT'S what I'm talkin about! Get down with my bad self!"

#52. Posted by: BunnyLover at August 22, 2007 10:00 AM

Locke singing to himself: "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-M-C-A!"

#53. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at August 22, 2007 11:47 AM

BunnyLover--
Congrats Grandmaw!

#54. Posted by: Crispy Seaplanes at August 22, 2007 12:04 PM

Hurrah for Baby BunnyLover! How exciting!

http://tinyurl*com/bt6o8

#55. Posted by: Clementine at August 22, 2007 3:14 PM

@55/Clementine

OMG! That is the cutest bunny baby EVER. Thank you for sharing and making me bust out a big ole smile.

Thank you for the congrats too, Crispy. (Grandmaw sounds a bit old doesn't it... ouch...)

#56. Posted by: BunnyLover at August 22, 2007 3:57 PM

@BunnyLover/#51: Congrats on attaining grandparental status! Is your granddaughter's first stufffed animal to be a little bunny w/a pink bow between its ears? ; )

#57. Posted by: Alaïs_Longthought at August 22, 2007 10:51 PM

@57/Alaïs_Longthought: "Is your granddaughter's first stufffed animal to be a little bunny w/a pink bow between its ears? ; )"

Well, no... not actually. They didn't have cute little stuffed bunnies at the hospital. Best I could do was a Jerry Garcia Ty bear and, of course, a "It's A Girl!!" balloon.


Thou shalt not worry, I am TOTALLY going shopping this weekend to buy presents of pink and all girly for my pecious little girl.

#58. Posted by: BunnyLover at August 22, 2007 11:38 PM

@ BunnyLover: Please, please make sure that your granddaughter receives the proper innoculations from Dr. Rom before leaving the hospital!! Congrats!

#59. Posted by: Red...Neck...Man at August 23, 2007 10:39 AM

LOL! Ditto that, RNM! And if at any time you happen to see black smoke rising from a pyre atop the hospital, for God's sake, hide her!!

#60. Posted by: Trinity at August 23, 2007 10:53 AM

Locke: My names Trashcan Man.

And for those that don't get that, go read The Stand!

#61. Posted by: Sage at August 23, 2007 2:00 PM

@61 Sage
It would be better if this Dude would come working up the beach holding his hand cause a giant lobster bit off his finger and asked Locke if he had seen a Man-In-Black lately. And when Locke asked his name he simply says Roland.

Every Place leads to the Tower you know.
and if you haven't read the Dark Tower you won't get that....:>)

#62. Posted by: samfin at August 23, 2007 2:21 PM

@GrandMaw
---Can't wait to see a picture of the grandbunny... of course it shouldn't be a regular picture... you will need to "Simpsonize" the picture first.

#63. Posted by: DocH at August 23, 2007 3:37 PM

What's up DocH?! I'm working on getting a picture posted.

You all everybody in the FF league. I just posted a question in the random topic area. Can any bunny give me some help?

#64. Posted by: BunnyLover at August 24, 2007 2:24 PM

Back on subject:

No wonder Locke likes to blow up things. When he was a little boy, his father got blazing mad when he found a fire set by John behind their house. He screamed at John's Mother, 'I don't want arson doing things like that!'

#65. Posted by: BunnyLover at August 24, 2007 2:37 PM

man you guys have lost me. I need to either cut sown on the drinking or cut down on work. maybe I just need to watch a Lost episode to get back into it...shame on me!!!!

#66. Posted by: mif aka meg at August 24, 2007 8:49 PM

man you guys have lost me. I need to either cut down on the drinking or cut down on work. maybe I just need to watch a Lost episode to get back into it...shame on me!!!!

#67. Posted by: mif aka meg at August 24, 2007 8:49 PM

Ok I went back and tried to concentrate - congrats bunny g'ma!!!!!

#68. Posted by: mif aka meg at August 24, 2007 8:53 PM

I think I can, I think I can......
If you dont get that check out The Little Engine That Could. Heavy stuff.

#69. Posted by: katespanties at August 28, 2007 12:33 PM

my HAIKU rant continues:

serf kneels before lord
moat bridge sinks to ocean floor
docs stay for some more

#70. Posted by: MorBid0 at September 7, 2007 10:30 PM

Look mom no hands.

#71. Posted by: TJ Avalone at September 10, 2007 9:23 PM