The Lost Blog

LOST Caption - If I Only Had a Map.

In Season Four's pivotal episode "Cabin Fever", Ben and Locke need some answers - so they trek through the jungle in search of Jacob. They know where to find Jacob - he's right where they left him, in his little wooden shack. The problem is, they don't exactly know where Jacob's little cabin retreat is - only where it was. You see, the cabin has this annoying habit of relocating itself. That makes a map pretty useless (unless it's a map pulled from a rotting corpse's pocket).  So they bring the next best thing - Hurley - since he was the last one to see Jacob's cabin, run away from it, and see it reappear in his path of escape.  Makes perfect sense to me.

Somewhere along their trek, this traveling trio take the time to appreciate how vacc managed to string together nine straight words beginning with the letter "T" into this very sentence. Or perhaps they stopped for some other reason? Maybe they simply realized this was too great a photo caption opportunity to pass up. Yeah, that must be it.

** Editor's note: After a long and much needed break from the all consuming and highly distracting world that is LOST, vacc powers up his laptop and finally posts an all new LOST Photo Caption.  Rest assured, many more will follow... every week until the triumphant return of the most awesome show ever aired on television.

Post your captions, comments, or any other LOST ramblings below this week's photo.  On behalf of the DeGroots, Alvar Hanso, and all of us here at the Lost Blog - thank you, Namasté, and good luck!

Ben Hurley and Locke go see Jacob

MIF, baby!


Ben: "I can't believe I just spent five hours following you through the jungle. What was I thinking?"

Hurley: "Dude, it's awesome! I didn't even know I could find it, but there it is!"

Locke: "Look. The Hot-N-Fresh light just came on."

#1. Posted by: Clementine at October 13, 2008 10:38 PM

Ben: "John, I'm very disappointed ... I don't know how he found THIS, but it is NOT Jacob's cabin!"

Locke: "Ben, I'm astonished by your lack of faith in the island ... if Jacob's cabin can move, I believe it can change appearance. I'm going in."

Hurley: "Ah ... dude, this isn't Jacob's place. But like, we've been walking for hours, and, I'm starving, so back off. Hansel and Gretel stories or not, I'm EATING this ginger bread house."

#2. Posted by: ealgumby at October 13, 2008 11:56 PM

Hurley: Dude, she's not gonna get nekkid with the blinds open, it's not gonna happen, she'll never-

Whoa momma.

Ben: Yes, indeed. Vital statistics, 48-15-16.

Locke: Is that even possible?

Ben: Why do you think we needed a spinal surgeon?

#3. Posted by: Danny at October 14, 2008 8:09 AM

Locke: "Hey, Ben! Do you know where we're going?"
Ben: "Quiet you numbskulls, I'm trying to remember what I forgot."
Hurley: "Gee, Ben, I forgot what you were trying to remember."
(Ben slaps Hurley, Locke ducks. Locke then smirks and Ben knocks him on top of the head. Locke slaps his face in mortification.)
Locke: "Hey Ben, there's cabin over there!"
Ben: "Just like I said. That's what we're looking for."
Hurley: "You never said that. I saw that cabin five minutes ago."
Ben: "Then why didn't you say something."
Hurley: "I didn't know that was what you forgot."
(Ben makes fists and prepares to punch Hurley.)
Locke: "Look there's someone inside."
Ben: "Yeah, that's the guy we came to see. His name's Jacob. Now you lamebrains shut up and let me do all the talking."
(They all sneak up to the door. Ben stops and the other two run into him.)
Ben: "Jacob? Are you here? It's us the three guys who can see you."
(Creaky rocking chair noises come from the corner.)
Locke: "B-B-B-B-Ben! This p-p-p-p-place is h-h-h-h-haunted! Mememememememe!"
Hurley: "Yeah, there's like that creepy guy in the corner and, I mean, no one's here. Let's go!"
Ben: "No, he's here. I think. Anyway we's come to see you about the job."
Hurley: "What do you mean move the island? That's crazy."
Ben: "What are you talking about nitwit?"
Hurley: "That guy told me to move the island."
Ben: "What guy? Where? Whyioughtta!"
(Room starts to shake. Chains rattle and the fireplace lights and extinguishes itself.)
Locke: "I'm outta here! PWING!"
(They all run outside and past an ashy ring.)
Ben: "So your idea is to move the island?"
Hurley: "I guess?"
(Hurley cringes and covers his head.)
Ben: "Sounds good to me. Let's go."
(Locke and Hurley look at each other. They all tramp merrily down the path to the tune of "Three Blinf Mice".)


#4. Posted by: PiecesofArzt at October 14, 2008 10:36 AM

You Know, I don't staring the stock channel crawler is going to make any difference.

#5. Posted by: berkyo at October 14, 2008 11:05 AM

The Hiatus has not improved my grammar/spelling.

You Know, I don't think staring at the stock channel crawler is going to make any difference.

#6. Posted by: berkyo at October 14, 2008 11:06 AM

Ben: "John.. Hugo... look up and tell me what you see".

Hurley: "I see the branches of trees, with their leaves turned up."

Locke: "And I see cumulonimbus clouds with a slight tinge of green".

Ben: "Very good. And what do you suppose this means?"

Hurley: "Well, the leaves showing their white sides means the wind direction has changed, which makes a lot of the leaves turn over."

Locke: "And a green tint in clouds is produced by ice, which scatters the sunlight... "

Ben: "Go on.."

Locke: "I would have to say that there's a strong possibility of heavy rain, hail, strong winds... and maybe even a tornado."

Hurley: (Nods in agreement)

Ben: (smiles slyly) "Very good."

Locke: "Why? - What does it tell you, Ben?"

Ben: "It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."

#7. Posted by: vacc at October 14, 2008 1:00 PM

Hurley: Locke! What are we looking at dude?

Locke: I don't know Hugo. I'm only looking because Benjamin was looking... ... so Ben, what /are/ we supposed to be looking at?

Ben (through clenched teeth): No' loo'in'. 'itten 'y spi'er. Pa'alyse'.

Hurley: Paulo lies? Yeah dude, Nikki told us that already! Next you'll be telling us 'bout the bird that says Hurley.

Locke: There's a bird that says your name?

Hurley: Yeah, it swooped me in the dark territory. Hey Ben, you know anything the Hurley bird? Ben? Ben? Why are you falling over dude? Ben?

Ben: I'iots

#8. Posted by: Danny at October 14, 2008 5:14 PM

John: "Hugo... what part of follow your dream did you not understand?"

Hurley: "Locke... dude... you said we had the same dream at the same time."

John: "Yes Hugo... Horace Goodspeed alone in the jungle... building a shack."
---pregnant pause---
Hurley: "Oh man, we were way out of sync... I thought you'd dreamt 'Jin next to a guy in a chicken suit,' like I did."

Ben - (thought bubble): "Damn... who'd a thought? After all those years slaughtering our own meals... there's a Mr. Clucks just on the other side of the sonic fence."

#9. Posted by: DocH at October 15, 2008 12:52 AM

Ben: If I only had a heart...

Hurley: If I only had courage...

Locke: If I only had a bomb...

#10. Posted by: Alaïs_Longthought at October 15, 2008 4:20 PM



#11. Posted by: Danny at October 16, 2008 1:22 PM

Yep - I vote for #10. (Even though the Wiz of Oz is what I was going to play on too.) Snooze ya looze...

#12. Posted by: BunnyLover at October 21, 2008 9:41 AM

I agree. Alias wins!!!!

#13. Posted by: berkyo at October 21, 2008 6:46 PM

Hi Cecil! If you still want to watch the UT vs. Alabama game this weekend, the UT Alumni will be at:

www . blincos . com

I think the game starts at 7:45. Hope to see you there and anyone else that's a LOST fan from near the Raleigh area.


#14. Posted by: BunnyLover at October 23, 2008 11:43 AM

All three: "Roooooooooooooll Tide."

#15. Posted by: Cecil Rose at October 24, 2008 12:53 PM

Hurley: "Here we are hiding in a marijauna grove and the dude over there with the Uzi has the only lighter."

#16. Posted by: Cecil at October 24, 2008 12:56 PM

Ben: "I say its snap."

Hurley: "Definitely crackle."

Locke: "Pop!"

#17. Posted by: Cecil Rose at October 24, 2008 12:59 PM

Hurley: Dudes, you seein' what I'm seein'?

Locke: Yes, Hurley. I am indeed.

Ben: With my bug eyes, I'm seeing the same thing you guys are seeing. I'm just seeing it 96 times. Kaleidoscopically.

Hurley: So how long has she been in there?

Locke: Oh, I'd say about twenty minutes.

Ben: she comes...she's coming out of the surf...

Hurley: Dudes, who the hell is that? I don't recognize her.

Locke: I don't either. She's pretty cute though. Nice firm round buttocks, muscular thighs, long dirty blond hair, broad shoulders...wait...hold on a sec...what's that?

Ben: Yes, John. That's a guy. You've just been ogling a guy. And if my gargantuan peepers are correct, I'd say that's Robinson Crusoe. you know, the guy from the ad up above all the comments.

Hurley: Dudes, that's just wrong.

Ben: Yikes. It's gonna take me twenty minutes to wash my retinas.

Locke: Can we leave now? My khakis are getting a little tight.

#18. Posted by: ransomjackson at October 24, 2008 1:10 PM