Before we get started, in reference to the lead-in to the question up there, I'm inclined to share a philosophical theory that was bestowed upon me during a relationship crisis. I was at the end of my rope and ready to bail out of the nightmare. But I was blatantly procrastinating and trying to talk myself out of it. A male friend told me this: "Imagine that you have gangrene in the bottom part of your leg. Do you want the surgeon to pick at the infected area with a pair of rusted tweezers, sinew by sinew until the necrotic limb rots and finally drops off OR do you want him to use the sharpest, most sterile scalpel he can find and slice it off in one, clean fell swoop?" It blew the dust off my brain in a heartbeat. That night, I told my boyfriend that I was leaving and had moved out in under a week. I will always be grateful for my friend's timely advice.

The show opens with Carrie and Aidan in bed. He's back to making his moany, mm-mmmm sounds and all is right with the world. Until... rrrrrrRING! Big leaves a message on the machine. He's back in town and says, "Call me baby" with that super sultry innuendoed voice of his. They break apart. Carrie looks at the phone while Aidan sneers at it. The ultimate coitus-interruptus. What's wrong with her? IF you insist on having your phone right next to your pillow then at LEAST turn the volume down. Yeesh. Carrie stutters and tries to explain, but Aidan shuts her up with a kiss.

Coffee shop time. Carrie tells the tribe that something bad happened. When she tells them, they agree. They wanna know what she did? Nothing, they kept right on going. If he could keep going after that, Samantha brands him a keeper. Miranda doesn't care about him, what about Carrie? How's she doing? She's fine, she finished. Charlotte is shocked. Carrie just had to finish and she hasn't worked at anything that hard since her SATs. Charlotte then asks if they talked about it. Nope, they just went to sleep. But when they woke up, Aidan was on the other side of her massive king-sized bed. Usually Carrie sleeps in the little nook between his neck and shoulder. Charlotte pulls her patented PollyAnna routine and suggests that maybe he's sleeping differently. Maybe, or maybe he's gonna freak every time the phone rings, thinking it's Big to launch affair number two. Carrie was hoping that they could start fresh, but now, they're probably gonna have to talk about it. Samantha disagrees. What's she gonna do? Sit Aidan down and explain about Big? Carrie thinks either that or find a "Sorry I Cheated" Hallmark card. Samantha says that no one wants to hear about their lover's past lovers. Leave it where it lives, in the past. But it's not in the past, it's on Carrie's answering machine and she has to talk about it! As their food arrives, Samantha gives her the hand.

Charlotte changes the subject with her big news. She's thinking of quitting her job. Samantha wonders aloud if she got a better offer from another gallery. Nope, no, Charlotte wants to stop working all together. Staring at Charlotte in disbelief, the girls freeze. She smiles waiting for their approval but it never comes. Carrie breaks the silence and asks, "Really?!" Charlotte then goes into a wicked rant of denial. The gallery is just driving her crazy. What has it ever done for her, blah, blah, blah. Trey suggested... AHA! Miranda nails her on that statement but Charlotte runs right over her, continuing the rant. Carrie reminds her that she loves her job and that's the only time any of them ever get through to Charlotte. For a moment, she softens and realizes this important fact. But then the denial fog rises up again and Charlotte retorts with, "there's so much more I could do with my life." Miranda wants to know like what. Well soon she'll be pregnant and that's huge. Charlotte pauses and checks their faces for approval, nope, nada. PLUS she's redecorating the apartment... no sign of approval there. And she always wanted to take one of those Indian cooking classes. AND sometimes she's seen a woman having a lovely day painting a pot at one of those "Color Me Mine" pottery places. That stops Samantha dead in mid-chew. Faces: still shocked and not buying it. Charlotte pulls out the trump card and adds that she wanted to volunteer to raise money for the new pediatric A.I.D.S. wing at Trey's hospital. So there, harumph. Carrie thinks that the cooking and the A.I.D.S. stuff is great, but that pottery business, uh no. If she saw Charlotte through the window there, she'd walk right on by. Carrie has a thought and asks Charlotte if maybe she's just having a bad work week. Nope, she's quitting, that's what she's decided, that's it. There's a strange, mournful, defensive tone in her voice. As if she's trying to convince herself. Samantha pipes in, "Welp, be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel because the women waiting to get on are twenty-two, perky and ruthless." The look in Samantha's eyes when she says this screams of actualized experience. Carrie chides Samantha for having so many opinions today. Samantha remembers the first one and says, "I'm telling you, just forget it ever happened." It took me a minute to realize that she was referring to Big's call that morning.

While hailing a cab, Samantha gets bamboozled by an arrogant cab stealer. He leaps into her cab about twenty feet away from her when she screams, "HEY!" As the cab drives past her, she yells into the open window, "I was here first!" All the intruder can say is that he's sorry, hands up. Lo and behold, the cab has to stop due to a red light. Samantha gets that evil grin on her face and runs up to the captive cab. She barks, "I don't think so. GET OUT!" and opens the door. But he's not getting out. Samantha doesn't hear him because she's too busy throwing her shopping bag in his face which forces him to slide over. She hops in, tells the cab driver, "West 12th and 9th Avenue please," then tells the jerko that she hopes he enjoys the ride. And he does. The next scene is at Samantha's apartment and she's riding him just fine.

Carrie wakes up to what seems like an empty bed until the camera pans left and we find Aidan hanging off the other side. Carrie wakes him, turns him over and tries to crawl back into the nook. He looks over at the clock and sees that it's 8:10 am. He's gotta get to the gym. She tells him that he doesn't have to go anywhere. He wants to know if she wants him to get all soft again? Doesn't matter, she liked him that way. Well he didn't and with that, climbs over her to get up and get out. She stops him and tries to illicit a good morning kiss in a very sultry, breathy voice. He suggests that she might wanna brush her teeth first and poof he's gone. Mortified, Carrie wraps herself around a pillow, eyes blazing with rejection.

At 8:15 am, Charlotte calls Miranda and catches her just out of the shower, drying her hair with a towel. She just wanted to say that she thought that Miranda was way judgmental at the coffee shop yesterday. Miranda doesn't get it. I've never seen Charlotte like this so here's the exchange:

Charlotte: You think I'm one of those women!
Miranda: What? One of what women?
Charlotte: Those women we hate who just works until she gets married.
Miranda: Charlotte, it's 8:15.
Charlotte: That's not a response!
Miranda: It's an 8:15 in the morning response.
Charlotte: The women's movement is supposed to be about choice. And if I choose to quit my job, then THAT is my choice.
Miranda: The women's movement? Jesus Christ I haven't even had coffee yet.
Charlotte:It's my life and my choice!
Miranda: Okay Charlotte? This isn't about me, this is your stuff.
Charlotte: ADMIT IT! YOU'RE BEING VERY JUDGEMENTAL!
Miranda: I'm dripping all over my bathroom and you're calling me judgmental! If you have a problem with quitting your job, maybe you should take it up with you husband.
Charlotte: See! There it is, your husband. There's nothing wrong with having a husband!
Miranda: CHARLOTTE! I'm hanging up!
Charlotte: *GASP!* Don't you DARE hang up and and and stop saying Charlotte like that! I am quitting my job to make my life better and do something worthwhile like have a baby and cure A.I.D.S.
Miranda: OH! You're gonna cure A.I.D.S.?! GOOD FOR YOU CHARLOTTE! Just don't be too disappointed if all you wind up with is a pretty ceramic mug with Trey's name on it.
Charlotte: TAKE THAT BACK!
Miranda: I'm hanging up.
Charlotte: Don't you dare hang up! I'm interviewing girls to replace me and I really need you to get behind my choice.
Miranda: You get behind your choice.
Charlotte: I am behind my choice. I CHOOSE my choice.
Miranda: Charlotte, I don't have time for this, I have to go to work. SOME OF US still have to go to work.
Charlotte: I CHOOSE MY CHOICE! I CHOOSE MY CHOICE! I CHOOSE...
Miranda: Click.

Miranda slams down the phone and slams the towel into her wet hair. All of sudden she screams "ow" and "fuck" and "jesus" because she can't move her head. She's stuck, bent sideways.

Carrie voice overs a comparison between herself and Charlotte. How they confront people. Charlotte goes head on and at least Carrie admits her passive-aggressive tactics here. Aidan's in her bathroom getting dressed when Carrie knocks on the door bearing fresh, squeezed juice while she's squeezed into a bra and skirt, nipples blazing. Aidan asks where she got it. She went down to the Koreans. Dressed like that? Yup, she's all bendy and sex kitteny again but he's oblivious. That doesn't work so she asks him to help her patch up. She's got a big editor meeting in about an hour and it looks like a two patch day. She quit smoking, remember? He grabs one of the patches that she hands him and throws the wrapper to the floor. She's all up in his face doing EVERYTHING but what she needs to do. He seems annoyed, the way he rips and throws the wrappers. When Carrie realizes that this tactic is not gonna work, she goes for the passive-aggressive mastery of total bullshit to get his attention. She says, "Notice how much better I'm doing this time? No cheating? I think I've finally kicked that bad habit. Now I'm practically perfect, donchya think?" Feh. He steps around behind her, positions the patch on her should and SLAM! He slaps it so hard into her back that she stumbles forward. Which snaps her out of her bullshit routine dumb quick. She asks him what that was about? He gives her a taste of her own Nyquil and plasters on a really, really fake smile. He was just making sure that it was on good and tight and leaves her alone in the bathroom.

I CAN'T STAND THIS! She clutches her throat and doesn't understand what just happened. She's actually perplexed. Duh. If it was me I would have punched her in the head the minute she said "I'm practically perfect." But then again, I'm not in a relationship. I know that it doesn't seem like it, but I truly do appreciate and respect the character of Carrie Bradshaw because she lets us see our flaws by wearing them for us. But I'm still gonna pull my hair out over having to see them. But upon thinking about it right now, does this behavior prove the theory that pretty people are socially retarded because they never have to figure shit out because they're pretty? Because the mirrors they look into only reflect the pretty parts? It's only when they rub up against other people that their ugliness is reflected? If so, will they still be pretty on the outside by the time they're pretty on the inside? Hmmmm. Therein lies the dilemma.

Carrie follows Aidan into the kitchen and finally asks the question, "Are you mad at me..." but of course has to qualify it with, "or something?" Aidan's got his game on something fierce now. He shoots back, "Why would I be mad at you?" Carrie flinches. He asks her to move so he can get some milk out of the frij. As he inspects the milk carton she says, "About the other night..." He cuts her off by saying, "What the fuck?!" The milk is bad. He goes on a harangue about how can she let it get like that and dumps it down the drain. He's nasty, belligerent and cursing at her but he stops himself to say that it's not her, it's him. He's gotta work all weekend in an enclosed space filled with toxic chemicals and he's pissed about it. Now, even though Aidan's behavior is a direct result of Carrie's behavior (past and present) it's still a bitch to watch. I've been in that verbally and mentally abusive bad boyfriend situation. No matter how much you might deserve it or no matter how much the guy needs to work it out and through, it sucks.

The other thing that Aidan's pissed off about is that he can't find anyone to watch Pete. Carrie seizes the opportunity but Aidan remembers that she's not too good at or keen on dog walking. Carrie slinks back into her Mae West routine and slides up real close to him. He loves Pete, she loves, that's just the kind of girlfriend she is. GODDAMMIT! Queen 2 to Knight 4. He balks and she smothers him with kisses but he's not kissing back. Plan M, she offers to take her tall drink of water out to dinner where the milk is fresh. This is interesting. I've seen guys use the bribery tactic before but not a woman. He can't, he's gonna hook up with some of his buddies over at Steve's bar "Scout." Carrie wants to know if girlfriends are allowed. He tells her to come, don't come, whatever. She decides to let him go it alone and to have a good time, when the phone rings. Everybody cringe now. NOPE it's Miranda. Whew. Her neck is out and she's stuck. Her whole body is fucked up because of the marathon, she can hardly hold the phone. She wants Carrie to come over right now. Carrie tries to explain about the editor's meeting but Miranda screams "thanks" and drops the phone when she tries to hang up.

Carrie worries that it's too late to cancel her meeting but Miranda seriously needs her help. She tells Aidan this and he offers to go over and help Miranda. Wow. Carrie thanks him by smothering him again and saying, "You're a great, great boyfriend, I mean it. You're the best." GAK! She's just gotta fuck this up every step of the way.

Miranda is laid out naked on her bathroom rug when she hears a key in the lock of her front door. She cries Carrie's name but Aidan answers instead. Miranda panics and tries to get up but her range of motion is about half an inch. She tries to tell him no, she's naked on the floor, DON'T COME IN but it's too late, he's in the room already. He didn't hear her and when he looks down, she slaps her hand over her eyes and he sees her entire body. He steps back outside, shutting the door. Miranda explains that her neck pulled again and laying on the floor was the only way she felt comfortable, but she'll get up. Through the door, Aidan tells her not to get up, he's coming in. She screams no and tries two more times to get up only to wail from the excruciating pain. Miranda confesses that she can't get up. Aidan warns that he's coming in and backs into the room. He turns all around trying to assess the situation without looking at her but he can't help it. Miranda's mortified. He says, "Just relax darlin', I'm gonna lift you up." Miranda's worried that he'll see everything. Aidan says VERY hero-bed-side-manner that it's nothing he hasn't seen before. As he grabs a towel to lay over her, he notices the nice April Fresh smell emanating from her body. He talks to her as if she's a child and smooths her hair over her head which is just what she needs at this point in time. Miranda clutches the bathroom rug beneath her while Aidan lifts her up by her arms. He needs her to put her arm around him so she bites down on the bathroom rug to protect her virtue. Aidan sweeps her up into his arms covered in bath linens and says, "snug as a bug in a rug." This was wonderful to watch. Miranda all vulnerable and needing help and lucky enough that such an amazing hero man was at her disposal in one of her rare times of need. Aidan rushes her off to the chiropractor.

Today's the day that Charlotte will interview "Gallerinas" to replace her. Outside of her office is a line of the twenty-two year old, ruthless girls hiding behind their perkiness that Samantha warned about. Charlotte pans over the procession and settles on one that reminds her of herself. Turns out they have the same education and career objectives; to own their own gallery. The interviewee asks Charlotte if she ever owned one. No, but she always felt like she owned this one because she loves it so much. The girl tells Charlotte that she's done an amazing job with the place. It's her favorite space. And with that, Charlotte leans over and tells her covertly that she's hired but ssssshhhh, there's still a line of girls out there to see. Charlotte asks if she has any questions. Just one, why is Charlotte leaving? Charlotte says that she's married and they're going to have a baby. No sign of approval here either so Charlotte starts up the denial train again. She's on the board of the Lenox Hill Pediatric A.I.D.S. foundation which of course impresses the girl.

Carrie gets all dolled up as sexy as she can muster for a legitimate night's stroll out so she can interrupt guy's night and give Aidan a quick thank you kiss for being such a hero to her dear friend Miranda. Aidan sits alone at the bar. She slides up and tells him that he's her hero. He's a bit buzzed when he replies, "What's new pussycat?" She says, "Not only are you great to me but you're great to my friends." Aidan kinda aw shucks it but Miss Thing has to fuck it up for sure. She asks him, "Who's a better boyfriend than you?" GAK GAK GAK! Is it me or is that the most insulting thing you could possibly say to him? What is this a fucking competition and she's just given him the verbal trophy? I repeat, GAK!

She seals it with a kiss and before they can finish, a beautiful bartender named Shaina who's flirting with Aidan big time claims that she's back and wants to know where they left off. Aidan was up to three peanuts. She's teaching him to play jacks with peanuts. There are some uncomfortable pauses until Carrie decides to introduce herself. Shaina says hello, Aidan apologizes and introduces her to Carrie. Not the other way around. She offers her a drink but Carrie's not staying, she doesn't want to interrupt the night out with the guys, and by the way where are they? The guys blew him off at the last minute so he came down here to hang out with his buddy Steve. Okay, so where's Steve? Oh, it's slow so he went out to get a burrito and Shaina and he are keeping an eye on the place. Shaina breaks in and says that she's up. It's time for twosies. Aidan can't wait to get back to it. Carrie interjects herself by wiping off Aidan's lip and telling him that Miranda said he was amazing. Aidan shudders when Carrie explains to Shaina that he took her girlfriend to the chiropractor today. Shaina responds, "We got us a nice guy here." Carrie asks him how Miranda was. He says that she can't work or run and she has to wear a foam collar for about a week and what do you call four? Shaina tells him, foursies. Carrie takes the hint and says she's gonna go but not before she asks Shaina to excuse them for a minute. She wants to know what's going on. Aidan repeats her question. She says, "you tell me" and Aidan just shrugs. Carrie tells him to do his thing. She doesn't have to work tomorrow so why doesn't he come over if he wants. He says that he'll come over. Carrie tells Shaina that it was nice to meet her, smacks Aidan on the arm and tells him that she'll see him later. As she steps out, Carrie turns for one last look and Aidan's entrenched in foursies.

By three in the morning Carrie gives up and blows out the mood candles behind her bed. She finally realizes that she's being punished for her "Big Mistake." But it's not just that. She doesn't realize that her current behavior cements the deal.

The next morning, she brings bagels over to Miranda's to cheer her up. Carrie walks in, starts slicing a bagel and immediately launches into how Aidan never showed up last night. Miranda stands there steaming. This is total bullshit. She didn't come over to make her feel better, she came over to yap about Aidan with the bullshit bagel subterfuge. She didn't even bring cream cheese! It's bad enough to send her boyfriend over to help her but now the bullshit bagels. If Miranda fell she'd NEVER send her boyfriend over to help her. Carrie claims that Aidan's better in a crisis than she is. Miranda screams that Aidan saw her naked lying on a bath mat on her bathroom floor, did he happen to mention that? No he didn't. Carrie says that's because he's a gentleman. Miracle of miracles, Carrie gets it and promises never to send a boyfriend to do her job. Miranda says, "k." Carrie toasts her a bagel and continues the yap about her boyfriend, that is if she still has one. He's banging a waitress. Miranda tells her not to expect him to cheat on her just because she cheated oh him, he's a good guy, remember? Carrie says that she's the bad guy and he's the good guy and she just has to take. She understands that she deserves it.

Back at Samantha's, the guy from cab wants to send a bottle of wine to the cab driver. Samantha tells him he's wild. He picks something out of his teeth and says, "Speaking of wild, it's getting a little too wild down there. It might be time for a wax." Samantha whirls around, speechless.

Samantha joins Carrie for a walk with Pete. It's her week between waxes, she's got three errant hairs and this asshole thinks she's George of the Jungle. Carrie finds that horrifying. Samantha's on a tear about how women have to run to "Helga the Hotwaxer." How would men like it if they had to sweat their body hair as much. Amen. The conversation gets interrupted so Pete can do his business. Samantha chides that this is lovely and why is she even walking this "mongrel?" Because Carrie's trying to be a good, trustworthy girlfriend. Samantha puts it succinctly when she says, "So watching his dog take a dump will make the memory of Big fade away?" Carrie hopes so. Samantha wants her to wake up. The dog, the waitress, how much longer is she gonna punish herself? Until Carrie's back in the nook is how long. Samantha reality checks her again by suggesting that she might not ever get back there. Carrie knows this but doesn't want to hear it. All of sudden Pete starts whining and a nasty odor wafts up to their noses. Pete has the runs. Samantha tells Carrie that she loves her but this is SO not her scene and runs to hail a cab leaving Carrie alone with the sweet, yet diaretic Pete.

Carrie wrestles him into a cab and heads over to where Aidan's working only to find him having coffee and laughing it up with Shaina. Well that cinches it. Carrie storms up to him, hands him the lease, tells him his dog is sick, she's leaving and trots off to hail a cab. Aidan hands the leash to Shaina and runs after her. He asks her what she's doing real nasty and condescending. Carrie questions his toxic chemicals excuse. He's just taking a coffee break so lighten up. Oh and Shaina just happened to be there? Carrie screams, "I DIAPERED YOUR DOG!" Aidan tells her to keep her voice down. More condescension. She asks him what he's doing, he says nothing. They're just friends. And FINALLY Carrie says something honest not covered in sexual innuendo that gets through, "Why don't you just fuck her and then we can both be bad." She hops in the cab and drives away.

Later on there's a knock on Carrie's door. Aidan tells her that nothing happened even though he thought about it. She invites him in but he confesses that he's too pissed to come in. He hates that Big calls there. Carrie assures him that nothing is happening and he has to know that, right? She would never, ever, never do that... again. Good, she said it. Aidan doesn't want her to see him ever again. Carrie can't do that. Big's in her life, not like Aidan is but he's still in it. He can't keep punishing her and she can't keep punishing herself either. She made a mistake and she's sorry and even though he can't forget what happened he has to forgive her. She says "you have to forgive me" seven times. She begs and she's sincere and she cries and slaps her legs until he comes in to hug her tight. All you need is truth.

Samantha tells apeman that he has a lot of nerve telling her to get a wax. Why, in certain countries they'd bead his back with all the hair he's got going on. He wants to make it up to her. Name it and it's hers. Samantha's famous evil grin creeps over her face and next thing you know, she hums a tune on her knees while she shaves him in the bathroom. It's no secret that I wanted her to wax him, not shave him. That would shut him up for a minute. He looks down and is thrilled to see that the pubic barber trick makes his dick look bigger.

On Charlotte's last day at the gallery, she instructs a mover to put a painting on the North wall while her new replacement wants it on the South side. Before she can help it, Charlotte snaps, "You're twenty-two what do you know about life!" Erp, she meant art. Charlotte apologizes. She's been working her whole life and this is a big transition. The new girl gives her a gift by saying, "If it's any consolation, my mother worked all the time. It would have been nice having her home." That does the trick. Charlotte does one final turn of the room and reminds the girl to set the alarms. No, she's not gonna finish the day, she's done here. As Charlotte walks out onto the side walk she almost flinches watching another new painting go into the gallery. That is until the Universe gives her another gift. Walking towards her is a young mother and her baby. A confirmation just for her. Good for Charlotte. She's doing something that she really wants. C'mon, she's been old fashioned from day one. It's hard to stick to your dreams in a hostile climate such as this and not feel like an alien I applaud her.

Miranda moves her meetings to the end of the week via phone, claiming to that the brace is still on. She throws it on the coffee table and continues to enjoy cooking and not working for a little while longer.

Aidan rolls over to Carrie's side of the bed to congeal. She nestles back once again, into the sacred nook.

Patty Opinion: She called after the previews rolled.

Samantha: And you should see the bush on him! I need a weedwacker just to find his dick!

Samantha: Every time I blow you I feel like I'm flossing.