Can you ever really forgive if you can't forget?
Before we get started, in reference to the lead-in to the
question up there, I'm inclined to share a philosophical
theory that was bestowed upon me during a relationship
crisis. I was at the end of my rope and ready to bail out of
the nightmare. But I was blatantly procrastinating and
trying to talk myself out of it. A male friend told me
this: "Imagine that you have gangrene in the bottom part of
your leg. Do you want the surgeon to pick at the infected
area with a pair of rusted tweezers, sinew by sinew until
the necrotic limb rots and finally drops off OR do you want
him to use the sharpest, most sterile scalpel he can find
and slice it off in one, clean fell swoop?" It blew the dust
off my brain in a heartbeat. That night, I told my
boyfriend that I was leaving and had moved out in under a
week. I will always be grateful for my friend's timely advice.
The show opens with Carrie and Aidan in bed. He's back
to making his moany, mm-mmmm sounds and all is right with
the world. Until... rrrrrrRING! Big leaves a message on
the machine. He's back in town and says, "Call me baby"
with that super sultry innuendoed voice of his. They break
apart. Carrie looks at the phone while Aidan sneers at it.
The ultimate coitus-interruptus. What's wrong with her? IF you insist on having your phone right next to your pillow
then at LEAST turn the volume down. Yeesh. Carrie
stutters and tries to explain, but Aidan shuts her up with a kiss.
Coffee shop time. Carrie tells the tribe that something
bad happened. When she tells them, they agree. They wanna
know what she did? Nothing, they kept right on going. If
he could keep going after that, Samantha brands him a
keeper. Miranda doesn't care about him, what about Carrie?
How's she doing? She's fine, she finished. Charlotte is
shocked. Carrie just had to finish and she hasn't worked at
anything that hard since her SATs. Charlotte then asks if
they talked about it. Nope, they just went to sleep. But
when they woke up, Aidan was on the other side of her
massive king-sized bed. Usually Carrie sleeps in the little
nook between his neck and shoulder. Charlotte pulls her
patented PollyAnna routine and suggests that maybe he's
sleeping differently. Maybe, or maybe he's gonna freak
every time the phone rings, thinking it's Big to launch
affair number two. Carrie was hoping that they could start
fresh, but now, they're probably gonna have to talk about
it. Samantha disagrees. What's she gonna do? Sit Aidan
down and explain about Big? Carrie thinks either that or
find a "Sorry I Cheated" Hallmark card. Samantha says that
no one wants to hear about their lover's past lovers. Leave
it where it lives, in the past. But it's not in the past,
it's on Carrie's answering machine and she has to talk about
it! As their food arrives, Samantha gives her the hand.
Charlotte changes the subject with her big news. She's
thinking of quitting her job. Samantha wonders aloud if she
got a better offer from another gallery. Nope, no,
Charlotte wants to stop working all together. Staring at
Charlotte in disbelief, the girls freeze. She smiles waiting
for their approval but it never comes. Carrie breaks the
silence and asks, "Really?!" Charlotte then goes into a
wicked rant of denial. The gallery is just driving her
crazy. What has it ever done for her, blah, blah, blah. Trey
suggested... AHA! Miranda nails her on that statement but
Charlotte runs right over her, continuing the rant. Carrie
reminds her that she loves her job and that's the only time
any of them ever get through to Charlotte. For a moment,
she softens and realizes this important fact. But then the
denial fog rises up again and Charlotte retorts with,
"there's so much more I could do with my life." Miranda
wants to know like what. Well soon she'll be pregnant and
that's huge. Charlotte pauses and checks their faces for
approval, nope, nada. PLUS she's redecorating the
apartment... no sign of approval there. And she always
wanted to take one of those Indian cooking classes. AND
sometimes she's seen a woman having a lovely day painting a
pot at one of those "Color Me Mine" pottery places. That
stops Samantha dead in mid-chew. Faces: still shocked and
not buying it. Charlotte pulls out the trump card and adds
that she wanted to volunteer to raise money for the new
pediatric A.I.D.S. wing at Trey's hospital. So there,
harumph. Carrie thinks that the cooking and the A.I.D.S.
stuff is great, but that pottery business, uh no. If she
saw Charlotte through the window there, she'd walk right on
by. Carrie has a thought and asks Charlotte if maybe she's
just having a bad work week. Nope, she's quitting, that's
what she's decided, that's it. There's a strange, mournful,
defensive tone in her voice. As if she's trying to convince
herself. Samantha pipes in, "Welp, be damn sure before you
get off the ferris wheel because the women waiting to get on
are twenty-two, perky and ruthless." The look in Samantha's
eyes when she says this screams of actualized experience.
Carrie chides Samantha for having so many opinions today.
Samantha remembers the first one and says, "I'm telling you,
just forget it ever happened." It took me a minute to
realize that she was referring to Big's call that morning.
While hailing a cab, Samantha gets bamboozled by an
arrogant cab stealer. He leaps into her cab about twenty
feet away from her when she screams, "HEY!" As the cab
drives past her, she yells into the open window, "I was here
first!" All the intruder can say is that he's sorry, hands
up. Lo and behold, the cab has to stop due to a red light.
Samantha gets that evil grin on her face and runs up to the
captive cab. She barks, "I don't think so. GET OUT!" and
opens the door. But he's not getting out. Samantha doesn't
hear him because she's too busy throwing her shopping bag in
his face which forces him to slide over. She hops in, tells
the cab driver, "West 12th and 9th Avenue please," then
tells the jerko that she hopes he enjoys the ride. And he
does. The next scene is at Samantha's apartment and she's
riding him just fine.
Carrie wakes up to what seems like an empty bed until the
camera pans left and we find Aidan hanging off the other
side. Carrie wakes him, turns him over and tries to crawl
back into the nook. He looks over at the clock and sees
that it's 8:10 am. He's gotta get to the gym. She tells him
that he doesn't have to go anywhere. He wants to know if she
wants him to get all soft again? Doesn't matter, she liked
him that way. Well he didn't and with that, climbs over her
to get up and get out. She stops him and tries to illicit a
good morning kiss in a very sultry, breathy voice. He
suggests that she might wanna brush her teeth first and poof
he's gone. Mortified, Carrie wraps herself around a pillow,
eyes blazing with rejection.
At 8:15 am, Charlotte calls Miranda and catches her just
out of the shower, drying her hair with a towel. She just
wanted to say that she thought that Miranda was way
judgmental at the coffee shop yesterday. Miranda doesn't
get it. I've never seen Charlotte like this so here's the exchange:
Charlotte: You think I'm one of those women!
Miranda: What? One of what women?
Charlotte: Those women we hate who just works until
she gets married.
Miranda: Charlotte, it's 8:15.
Charlotte: That's not a response!
Miranda: It's an 8:15 in the morning response.
Charlotte: The women's movement is supposed to be
about choice. And if I choose to quit my job, then THAT is
Miranda: The women's movement? Jesus Christ I
haven't even had coffee yet.
Charlotte:It's my life and my choice!
Miranda: Okay Charlotte? This isn't about me, this
is your stuff.
Charlotte: ADMIT IT! YOU'RE BEING VERY JUDGEMENTAL!
Miranda: I'm dripping all over my bathroom and you're
calling me judgmental! If you have a problem with quitting
your job, maybe you should take it up with you husband.
Charlotte: See! There it is, your husband. There's
nothing wrong with having a husband!
Miranda: CHARLOTTE! I'm hanging up!
Charlotte: *GASP!* Don't you DARE hang up and and and
stop saying Charlotte like that! I am quitting my job to
make my life better and do something worthwhile like have a
baby and cure A.I.D.S.
Miranda: OH! You're gonna cure A.I.D.S.?! GOOD FOR
YOU CHARLOTTE! Just don't be too disappointed if all you
wind up with is a pretty ceramic mug with Trey's name on it.
Charlotte: TAKE THAT BACK!
Miranda: I'm hanging up.
Charlotte: Don't you dare hang up! I'm interviewing
girls to replace me and I really need you to get behind my choice.
Miranda: You get behind your choice.
Charlotte: I am behind my choice. I CHOOSE my choice.
Miranda: Charlotte, I don't have time for this, I
have to go to work. SOME OF US still have to go to work.
Charlotte: I CHOOSE MY CHOICE! I CHOOSE MY CHOICE! I CHOOSE...
Miranda slams down the phone and slams the towel into her
wet hair. All of sudden she screams "ow" and "fuck" and
"jesus" because she can't move her head. She's stuck, bent sideways.
Carrie voice overs a comparison between herself and
Charlotte. How they confront people. Charlotte goes head
on and at least Carrie admits her passive-aggressive tactics
here. Aidan's in her bathroom getting dressed when Carrie
knocks on the door bearing fresh, squeezed juice while she's
squeezed into a bra and skirt, nipples blazing. Aidan asks
where she got it. She went down to the Koreans. Dressed
like that? Yup, she's all bendy and sex kitteny again but
he's oblivious. That doesn't work so she asks him to help
her patch up. She's got a big editor meeting in about an
hour and it looks like a two patch day. She quit smoking,
remember? He grabs one of the patches that she hands him and
throws the wrapper to the floor. She's all up in his face
doing EVERYTHING but what she needs to do. He seems
annoyed, the way he rips and throws the wrappers. When
Carrie realizes that this tactic is not gonna work, she goes
for the passive-aggressive mastery of total bullshit to get
his attention. She says, "Notice how much better I'm doing
this time? No cheating? I think I've finally kicked that
bad habit. Now I'm practically perfect, donchya think?"
Feh. He steps around behind her, positions the patch on her
should and SLAM! He slaps it so hard into her back that she
stumbles forward. Which snaps her out of her bullshit
routine dumb quick. She asks him what that was about? He
gives her a taste of her own Nyquil and plasters on a
really, really fake smile. He was just making sure that it
was on good and tight and leaves her alone in the bathroom.
I CAN'T STAND THIS! She clutches her throat and doesn't
understand what just happened. She's actually perplexed.
Duh. If it was me I would have punched her in the head the
minute she said "I'm practically perfect." But then again,
I'm not in a relationship. I know that it doesn't seem like
it, but I truly do appreciate and respect the character of
Carrie Bradshaw because she lets us see our flaws by wearing
them for us. But I'm still gonna pull my hair out over
having to see them. But upon thinking about it right now,
does this behavior prove the theory that pretty people are
socially retarded because they never have to figure shit out
because they're pretty? Because the mirrors they look into
only reflect the pretty parts? It's only when they rub up
against other people that their ugliness is reflected? If
so, will they still be pretty on the outside by the time
they're pretty on the inside? Hmmmm. Therein lies the dilemma.
Carrie follows Aidan into the kitchen and finally asks
the question, "Are you mad at me..." but of course has to
qualify it with, "or something?" Aidan's got his game on
something fierce now. He shoots back, "Why would I be mad
at you?" Carrie flinches. He asks her to move so he can get
some milk out of the frij. As he inspects the milk carton
she says, "About the other night..." He cuts her off by
saying, "What the fuck?!" The milk is bad. He goes on a
harangue about how can she let it get like that and dumps it
down the drain. He's nasty, belligerent and cursing at her
but he stops himself to say that it's not her, it's him.
He's gotta work all weekend in an enclosed space filled with
toxic chemicals and he's pissed about it. Now, even though
Aidan's behavior is a direct result of Carrie's behavior
(past and present) it's still a bitch to watch. I've been
in that verbally and mentally abusive bad boyfriend
situation. No matter how much you might deserve it or no
matter how much the guy needs to work it out and through, it sucks.
The other thing that Aidan's pissed off about is that he
can't find anyone to watch Pete. Carrie seizes the
opportunity but Aidan remembers that she's not too good at
or keen on dog walking. Carrie slinks back into her Mae
West routine and slides up real close to him. He loves Pete,
she loves, that's just the kind of girlfriend she is.
GODDAMMIT! Queen 2 to Knight 4. He balks and she smothers
him with kisses but he's not kissing back. Plan M, she
offers to take her tall drink of water out to dinner where
the milk is fresh. This is interesting. I've seen guys use
the bribery tactic before but not a woman. He can't, he's
gonna hook up with some of his buddies over at Steve's bar
"Scout." Carrie wants to know if girlfriends are allowed.
He tells her to come, don't come, whatever. She decides to
let him go it alone and to have a good time, when the phone
rings. Everybody cringe now. NOPE it's Miranda. Whew. Her
neck is out and she's stuck. Her whole body is fucked up
because of the marathon, she can hardly hold the phone. She
wants Carrie to come over right now. Carrie tries to
explain about the editor's meeting but Miranda screams
"thanks" and drops the phone when she tries to hang up.
Carrie worries that it's too late to cancel her meeting
but Miranda seriously needs her help. She tells Aidan this
and he offers to go over and help Miranda. Wow. Carrie
thanks him by smothering him again and saying, "You're a
great, great boyfriend, I mean it. You're the best." GAK!
She's just gotta fuck this up every step of the way.
Miranda is laid out naked on her bathroom rug when she
hears a key in the lock of her front door. She cries
Carrie's name but Aidan answers instead. Miranda panics and
tries to get up but her range of motion is about half an
inch. She tries to tell him no, she's naked on the floor,
DON'T COME IN but it's too late, he's in the room already.
He didn't hear her and when he looks down, she slaps her
hand over her eyes and he sees her entire body. He steps
back outside, shutting the door. Miranda explains that her
neck pulled again and laying on the floor was the only way
she felt comfortable, but she'll get up. Through the door,
Aidan tells her not to get up, he's coming in. She screams
no and tries two more times to get up only to wail from the
excruciating pain. Miranda confesses that she can't get up.
Aidan warns that he's coming in and backs into the room.
He turns all around trying to assess the situation without
looking at her but he can't help it. Miranda's mortified.
He says, "Just relax darlin', I'm gonna lift you up."
Miranda's worried that he'll see everything. Aidan says
VERY hero-bed-side-manner that it's nothing he hasn't seen
before. As he grabs a towel to lay over her, he notices the
nice April Fresh smell emanating from her body. He talks to
her as if she's a child and smooths her hair over her head
which is just what she needs at this point in time. Miranda
clutches the bathroom rug beneath her while Aidan lifts her
up by her arms. He needs her to put her arm around him so
she bites down on the bathroom rug to protect her virtue.
Aidan sweeps her up into his arms covered in bath linens and
says, "snug as a bug in a rug." This was wonderful to
watch. Miranda all vulnerable and needing help and lucky
enough that such an amazing hero man was at her disposal in
one of her rare times of need. Aidan rushes her off to the chiropractor.
Today's the day that Charlotte will interview
"Gallerinas" to replace her. Outside of her office is a line
of the twenty-two year old, ruthless girls hiding behind
their perkiness that Samantha warned about. Charlotte pans
over the procession and settles on one that reminds her of
herself. Turns out they have the same education and career
objectives; to own their own gallery. The interviewee asks
Charlotte if she ever owned one. No, but she always felt
like she owned this one because she loves it so much. The
girl tells Charlotte that she's done an amazing job with the
place. It's her favorite space. And with that, Charlotte
leans over and tells her covertly that she's hired but
ssssshhhh, there's still a line of girls out there to see.
Charlotte asks if she has any questions. Just one, why is
Charlotte leaving? Charlotte says that she's married and
they're going to have a baby. No sign of approval here
either so Charlotte starts up the denial train again. She's
on the board of the Lenox Hill Pediatric A.I.D.S. foundation
which of course impresses the girl.
Carrie gets all dolled up as sexy as she can muster for a
legitimate night's stroll out so she can interrupt guy's
night and give Aidan a quick thank you kiss for being such a
hero to her dear friend Miranda. Aidan sits alone at the
bar. She slides up and tells him that he's her hero. He's a
bit buzzed when he replies, "What's new pussycat?" She says,
"Not only are you great to me but you're great to my
friends." Aidan kinda aw shucks it but Miss Thing has to
fuck it up for sure. She asks him, "Who's a better
boyfriend than you?" GAK GAK GAK! Is it me or is that the
most insulting thing you could possibly say to him? What is
this a fucking competition and she's just given him the
verbal trophy? I repeat, GAK!
She seals it with a kiss and before they can finish, a
beautiful bartender named Shaina who's flirting with Aidan
big time claims that she's back and wants to know where they
left off. Aidan was up to three peanuts. She's teaching him
to play jacks with peanuts. There are some uncomfortable
pauses until Carrie decides to introduce herself. Shaina
says hello, Aidan apologizes and introduces her to Carrie.
Not the other way around. She offers her a drink but
Carrie's not staying, she doesn't want to interrupt the
night out with the guys, and by the way where are they? The
guys blew him off at the last minute so he came down here to
hang out with his buddy Steve. Okay, so where's Steve? Oh,
it's slow so he went out to get a burrito and Shaina and he
are keeping an eye on the place. Shaina breaks in and says
that she's up. It's time for twosies. Aidan can't wait to
get back to it. Carrie interjects herself by wiping off
Aidan's lip and telling him that Miranda said he was
amazing. Aidan shudders when Carrie explains to Shaina that
he took her girlfriend to the chiropractor today. Shaina
responds, "We got us a nice guy here." Carrie asks him how
Miranda was. He says that she can't work or run and she has
to wear a foam collar for about a week and what do you call
four? Shaina tells him, foursies. Carrie takes the hint and
says she's gonna go but not before she asks Shaina to excuse
them for a minute. She wants to know what's going on. Aidan
repeats her question. She says, "you tell me" and Aidan
just shrugs. Carrie tells him to do his thing. She doesn't
have to work tomorrow so why doesn't he come over if he
wants. He says that he'll come over. Carrie tells Shaina
that it was nice to meet her, smacks Aidan on the arm and
tells him that she'll see him later. As she steps out,
Carrie turns for one last look and Aidan's entrenched in foursies.
By three in the morning Carrie gives up and blows out the
mood candles behind her bed. She finally realizes that
she's being punished for her "Big Mistake." But it's not
just that. She doesn't realize that her current behavior
cements the deal.
The next morning, she brings bagels over to Miranda's to
cheer her up. Carrie walks in, starts slicing a bagel and
immediately launches into how Aidan never showed up last
night. Miranda stands there steaming. This is total
bullshit. She didn't come over to make her feel better, she
came over to yap about Aidan with the bullshit bagel
subterfuge. She didn't even bring cream cheese! It's bad
enough to send her boyfriend over to help her but now the
bullshit bagels. If Miranda fell she'd NEVER send her
boyfriend over to help her. Carrie claims that Aidan's
better in a crisis than she is. Miranda screams that Aidan
saw her naked lying on a bath mat on her bathroom floor, did
he happen to mention that? No he didn't. Carrie says
that's because he's a gentleman. Miracle of miracles, Carrie
gets it and promises never to send a boyfriend to do her
job. Miranda says, "k." Carrie toasts her a bagel and
continues the yap about her boyfriend, that is if she still
has one. He's banging a waitress. Miranda tells her not to
expect him to cheat on her just because she cheated oh him,
he's a good guy, remember? Carrie says that she's the bad
guy and he's the good guy and she just has to take. She
understands that she deserves it.
Back at Samantha's, the guy from cab wants to send a
bottle of wine to the cab driver. Samantha tells him he's
wild. He picks something out of his teeth and says,
"Speaking of wild, it's getting a little too wild down
there. It might be time for a wax." Samantha whirls around, speechless.
Samantha joins Carrie for a walk with Pete. It's her week
between waxes, she's got three errant hairs and this asshole
thinks she's George of the Jungle. Carrie finds that
horrifying. Samantha's on a tear about how women have to run
to "Helga the Hotwaxer." How would men like it if they had
to sweat their body hair as much. Amen. The conversation
gets interrupted so Pete can do his business. Samantha
chides that this is lovely and why is she even walking this
"mongrel?" Because Carrie's trying to be a good,
trustworthy girlfriend. Samantha puts it succinctly when she
says, "So watching his dog take a dump will make the memory
of Big fade away?" Carrie hopes so. Samantha wants her to
wake up. The dog, the waitress, how much longer is she
gonna punish herself? Until Carrie's back in the nook is
how long. Samantha reality checks her again by suggesting
that she might not ever get back there. Carrie knows this
but doesn't want to hear it. All of sudden Pete starts
whining and a nasty odor wafts up to their noses. Pete has
the runs. Samantha tells Carrie that she loves her but this
is SO not her scene and runs to hail a cab leaving Carrie
alone with the sweet, yet diaretic Pete.
Carrie wrestles him into a cab and heads over to where
Aidan's working only to find him having coffee and laughing
it up with Shaina. Well that cinches it. Carrie storms up
to him, hands him the lease, tells him his dog is sick,
she's leaving and trots off to hail a cab. Aidan hands the
leash to Shaina and runs after her. He asks her what she's
doing real nasty and condescending. Carrie questions his
toxic chemicals excuse. He's just taking a coffee break so
lighten up. Oh and Shaina just happened to be there? Carrie
screams, "I DIAPERED YOUR DOG!" Aidan tells her to keep her
voice down. More condescension. She asks him what he's
doing, he says nothing. They're just friends. And FINALLY
Carrie says something honest not covered in sexual innuendo
that gets through, "Why don't you just fuck her and then we
can both be bad." She hops in the cab and drives away.
Later on there's a knock on Carrie's door. Aidan tells
her that nothing happened even though he thought about it.
She invites him in but he confesses that he's too pissed to
come in. He hates that Big calls there. Carrie assures him
that nothing is happening and he has to know that, right?
She would never, ever, never do that... again. Good, she
said it. Aidan doesn't want her to see him ever again.
Carrie can't do that. Big's in her life, not like Aidan is
but he's still in it. He can't keep punishing her and she
can't keep punishing herself either. She made a mistake and
she's sorry and even though he can't forget what happened he
has to forgive her. She says "you have to forgive me" seven
times. She begs and she's sincere and she cries and slaps
her legs until he comes in to hug her tight. All you need
Samantha tells apeman that he has a lot of nerve telling
her to get a wax. Why, in certain countries they'd bead his
back with all the hair he's got going on. He wants to make
it up to her. Name it and it's hers. Samantha's famous
evil grin creeps over her face and next thing you know, she
hums a tune on her knees while she shaves him in the
bathroom. It's no secret that I wanted her to wax him, not
shave him. That would shut him up for a minute. He looks
down and is thrilled to see that the pubic barber trick
makes his dick look bigger.
On Charlotte's last day at the gallery, she instructs a
mover to put a painting on the North wall while her new
replacement wants it on the South side. Before she can help
it, Charlotte snaps, "You're twenty-two what do you know
about life!" Erp, she meant art. Charlotte apologizes.
She's been working her whole life and this is a big
transition. The new girl gives her a gift by saying, "If
it's any consolation, my mother worked all the time. It
would have been nice having her home." That does the trick.
Charlotte does one final turn of the room and reminds the
girl to set the alarms. No, she's not gonna finish the day,
she's done here. As Charlotte walks out onto the side walk
she almost flinches watching another new painting go into
the gallery. That is until the Universe gives her another
gift. Walking towards her is a young mother and her baby.
A confirmation just for her. Good for Charlotte. She's
doing something that she really wants. C'mon, she's been
old fashioned from day one. It's hard to stick to your
dreams in a hostile climate such as this and not feel like
an alien I applaud her.
Miranda moves her meetings to the end of the week via
phone, claiming to that the brace is still on. She throws
it on the coffee table and continues to enjoy cooking and
not working for a little while longer.
Aidan rolls over to Carrie's side of the bed to congeal.
She nestles back once again, into the sacred nook.
Patty Opinion: She called after the previews rolled.
Samantha: And you should see the bush on him! I
need a weedwacker just to find his dick!
Samantha: Every time I blow you I feel like I'm flossing.