Are men just women with balls?
To celebrate Steve not having testicular cancer, Miranda,
Carrie, Samantha, Steve and Aidan go out for a night of
drinks and pool. The show opens with Samantha preying on an
innocent pool table and saying things like, "Only one ball
left," and "It all comes down to just one little ball."
Everyone but Samantha winces. Steve suddenly can't wait to
run to the bar for refills. Miranda quickly points out
Samantha's faux-paus but she had no idea and asks if Steve
was upset. Aidan says more like embarrassed.
A conversation ensues about life with one ball. Miranda
doesn't get what the big deal is about having one ball.
Steve is Aidan's hero. If it had been him, he'd be hiding
at home all moped out. Miranda doesn't think that a pair of
hanging glands makes someone a man. Okay Miranda, let's see
what you have to say when you get breast cancer and one of
those hanging glands gets lopped off. This reminds me of
the time when Miranda got braces. The whole show was about
brace foibles but at the same time that the show aired,
commercials for invisible braces ran rampant on the
airwaves. Is this just bad plot writing or do they really
expect me to believe that Miranda didn't do her research?
So Miranda asks (what seems to be everyone) what the big
deal is when Samantha starts to answer. Miranda stops her
dead, she was asking Aidan, not her.
Miranda shuts her by
saying that she was asking Aidan, not her. Then Samantha
finally gets the chance to offer that she once dated a guy
who had huge balls but was a complete pussy. Aidan wants to
know how big. So big that she could hardly fit one in her
mouth. Carrie gets all embarrassed and qualifies Samantha's
story by telling Aidan, "Welcome to my world." Miranda
doesn't think that women really care about balls and asks
the girls if they do. Carrie just shakes her head until she
remembers that Aidan is sitting next to her and qualifies
again with, "Except for yours, I'm very into yours."
Samantha's never met a man who wasn't in love with his
balls. She launches into a mockery of some of the things
men have obviously said to her like, "Oh yeah baby grab my
big balls, lick them, pull them..." Miranda asks, "You pull
the balls?" Samantha purrs, "Mmm hmmm" and starts to tell
another guy story when Carrie interrupts her, hand up, with,
"I'm sure you did." Aidan wants more and asks Carrie to
please let her finish. Before Samantha can get another word
out, Carrie's hand is up again and she insists that
Samantha's done. Miranda and Samantha share a knowing glance
and Carrie turns the conversation to herself. What is this?
The last thing that anyone needs is a censor for a friend.
I don't get it! WHO'S the column writing "sexpert" here?!
And why is she so embarrassed? Because Aidan is there?
That's right Carrie, keep telling everybody to shut up at
your convenience and keep demanding that all eyes rest on
you. I swear to GOD if this show doesn't start getting a bit
more real I'm gonna puke.
I watch the show with my Mother and she's never surprised
by Carrie's behavior. She's always known that Carrie's been
nothing but a self-centered, mega-moby-uber brat from hell
since the beginning.
After little-miss-boyfriend-present takes over, her
stellar contribution to the conversation is a comparison
between balls and a purse. Not comparing them to breasts
mind you. They all just nod at her like the uptight freak
who they keep chained up in the attic.
A stray guy makes a bee-line over to Samantha to say
hello. She doesn't remember him right away but he's a guy
that she fucked. He's also an architect who's just gotten a
gig designing some big developer named Richard Wright
hotels. Samantha's impressed. She's been trying to get a
meeting with him for months and wants to know who's doing
the P.R. She asks the architect/fuck stick if he can hook
her up. He says he'll try.
"Up on Park Avenue," Charlotte and Trey eat Chinese food
out of the cartons on a silver tray. Ham-handedly, she asks
Trey to go have his sperm tested. It's been three whole
months already and they need to do something about not
getting pregnant. Trey resents that she assumes that the
problem belongs to him. She claims that she doesn't. It's
just easier to test the man first, less invasive. The
conversation puts Trey right off his dinner and he leaves
To end the evening, Carrie and Aidan brush their teeth
together in Carrie's bathroom. She asks if guys really like
to have them pulled. Aidan has no idea so Carrie offers to
help him out. Aidan spreads his three-mile legs, faces her
and leans back in anticipation. Look, I'm gonna apologize
for my new found attitude of blatant Carrie hatred just this
once. I don't know if I've been watching this show too long
and I can see through it OR if Carrie just can't do anything
right in my eyes. We pretty much know that Sarah Jessica
Parker is happily married and we know that she co-produces
the show. Somehow I just knew that there was no way that
her (Sarah Jessica Parker the actress') hand was gonna touch
his (John Corbet the actor's) package. Am I watching a
cheesy horror film director use up all his/her stale
goes-bump-in-the-night/last-gasp directing vehicles? WHAT
THE FUCK!? The first time she starts to slide her palm into
the promised land, Aidan jumps back afraid that she's gonna
pull too hard. He sucks it up all brave and shit and leans
back in. This is the first time I can honestly say that
S.J.P. acted badly. Here you have two people that have
fucked a bazillion different ways 'til Sunday and you
honestly expect me to believe that she would hesitate? You
could almost hear the director's countdown to the impending
interruption; the phone rings. When it does, Aidan jumps
back and Carrie giggles, "Saved by the bell." Nice improv asshole.
Aidan answers the phone, "Bradshaw house of pain, how can
we hurt ya?" Well guess who it is? You got it, The
BigMeister. He hesitates and then apologizes. He says,
"It's me." DAMMIT! There's that no-real-name-for-big trick
again. Big apologizes for calling so late and asks for
Carrie. Aidan silently hands her the phone. She tells him
it's really not a good time but Big really needs to talk to
her. Willow's totally fucking with his head and he begs.
Carrie agrees to talk to him, tells Aidan that Big's having
girlfriend problems and she'll be just a minute. Aidan is
NOT pleased. She walks out of the bathroom for some privacy.
Big's freaking out. He had plans with Willow that night and
she's up and disappeared. Carrie asks if he called her.
Yes, all five of her numbers. He says, "Here's the thing,
she can reach me but I can't ever reach her." Carrie
figures Willow just never got the message. Big cranks it up
and repeats, "You don't understand. She can reach me but I
can't get her... EVER! How FUCKED up is that!?" Carrie isn't impressed.
Delving time again. This is a complete role-reversal and
one of those perfect, yet painful karmic moments that I keep
referring to. What Big is feeling (most likely for the first
time) right now is EXACTLY what he's bestowed upon Carrie in
the past. Unavailability. She doesn't pick up on this and
never does. It doesn't make sense for the character. She
writes the damn soul-searching column every week and she
doesn't see. I would have been all over that shit. Not in a
mean way but I would have held up the psychology mirror in
the hopes of helping him understand his pain. This is what
he puts out there. It was inevitable wasn't it? How else do
you learn from your mistakes?
Big was further humiliated when he flew out to L.A. for
an EmpTV thing with Willow. Carrie interjects that she
better start feeling sorry for him soon. Big ended up
following her around like a groupie the whole time. Carrie
silently peers into the bathroom to find Aidan clipping his
toenails. She mimes that she'll be one more minute and
pouts as she steps back out.
Big insists on playing one of Willow's answering machine
messages for Carrie but she whines that she has to go to
bed. Big plays it anyway. Willow purrs that she can't wait
until she's in New York in his arms and sings Billy Joel's
"New York State of Mind." Carrie laughs and mocks but Big
explains that it's their song. Carrie says goodnight and
Big asks if he should call Willow again. Carrie says no,
goodnight and hangs up.
Carrie walks into the bathroom and apologizes. She asks
Aidan if he still wants her to give them a little pull. He
says nah and asks her why she took the phone in the other
room. She says it's because she knows how much he doesn't
like Big calling and tries to brush it off. Aidan doesn't
let her off that easy. He feels that if nothing's going on,
then nothing's going on so she shouldn't have to run into
the closet. Carrie denies that she ran and besides, she
knows how uncomfortable it makes him. Aidan nails her with
the fact that her concern is for her own comfort, not his
and he's right. She admits it but follows up with saying
that she doesn't want Aidan to feel threatened. Aidan gets
all puffed up and asks her if she really believes that he
feels threatened by Big. Carrie didn't meant that kind of
threatened. Aidan says that he can take him and "It's like
the time Batman and the Green Hornet got in a fight.
Everybody expected Batman to win cause he had the gadgets
and the cape and shit. The Green Hornet had the moves." He
points to his chest and continues, "I'm the Green Hornet, I
got the moves. Plus I got Pete and he's like Kato." Aidan
calls "Aren'tchya boy!" and pounces on Pete in the other
room. Did I say that I adore Aidan?
Down at the Sanctuary also known as the Coffee Shop,
Charlotte doesn't understand what super heroes have to do
with it. Carrie doesn't either but she figures that in order
to deal with Big, Aidan has to turn into the Green Lantern.
Miranda corrects her lack of comic book knowledge. Carrie
doesn't care if he's the Green Bee. She just wishes there
was some way to convince Aidan that he has nothing to worry
about. Mmmm hmmm, we'll see. Then she has the bright idea
of maybe getting them together to hash it out. Miranda
wonders if she had a big plate of crazy for lunch. Carrie
insists that if they could all talk then it would become
apparent to all involved that she loves Aidan. YEAH RIGHT!
Carrie's body language and constant verbal professing of
love for Aidan proves otherwise. SHE'S the one that's
inherently not convinced. When is she going to go in and
stop projecting everything out?
Charlotte definitely thinks it's a real bad idea but
Carrie (using Aidan's words and idea) now believes that
keeping her friendship with Big in the closet only makes it
worse. Samantha says the first true thing, "These are guys
they don't talk they fight. They can't help it. It's all
that crazy testosterone, God bless it." Hint hint wink wink.
Charlotte finds this to be the perfect moment to bring up
the fact that they're having Trey's sperm tested. Miranda
wants to know if it wasn't doing well in school. Charlotte
tells them how furious Trey got when they talked about it
last night. Samantha wonders, "That time of the month?" It's
a side of Trey that Charlotte's never seen, about the sperm.
Exasperated, Miranda says, "What is it about that area?!
It's like a mine field!"
Steve and Miranda trail behind a huge dog walking down
the street. He's impressed with the size of the dogs sack.
He asks Miranda if she knew that you can't enter a dog in a
dog show with only one ball. No she didn't know that. Well
they make fake ones and that's what Steve has in mind.
Miranda flat out tells him no. She doesn't get it, why would
he do that. Steve says why not, women get breast implants
all the time. THANK YOU! Jeez. Miranda still doesn't get
it. She tries to reassure Steve that it's not important.
She's been to the area and she wouldn't know if he had one
or four. Steve says that he'd know and that's exactly
right. It's not about Miranda or anyone else, it's about
Steve and again, I'm surprised that she doesn't see this.
Every time Steve looks down at his nuts, correction; nut,
he looks all lopsided and it bothers him. Miranda screams
that women don't care. They care about nice arms, great
eyes, big dick. She never once heard a woman praise a guy
for a big, full scrotum. I'm gonna dip into the personal
history bag for a moment here. Let me preface this with the
fact that I don't expect anyone from the show to ever have
the time or inclination to read these reviews, but if by
some chance they do and you see the following story pop up
in a plot line, you heard it here first. I once dated a guy
who had what I considered to be Elephantitus of the balls.
It was like he had a second ass, but in the front under his
dick. He'd walk to emphasize the uber-bulge (as if they
needed any help) and drop his pants out at bars when drunk.
One time an unimpressed bartender whispered in my ear, "All
balls, no dick." She nailed it, we laughed and I got a free
sympathy drink. I came to find out that this miscreant had a
Hernia and had forgone the operation so that he could keep
his diseased bulge. Women and even men were always coming up
to me to confirm if he really was that big. I refused to
answer and cried in silence because although he had enough
balls to feed a third world country, he was completely dickless.
Steve asks Miranda to go testicle shopping with her at
the doctor's office and she reluctantly agrees.
Looks like fucking that architect paid off in the long
run. Samantha sits almost swallowed by a monstrous red
leather chair in the office of the big developer Richard
Wright (played by James Remar). He peruses her leather
covered resume but writes it off as being pure fluff.
Nothing but parties and social events. Samantha wants to
know what his hotels do, nuclear fission? Richard gets off a
giggle from that line. An assistant buzzes in with a timed
ritual to help him get rid of lackey applicants but he waves
her off. He's intrigued but if he wasn't, Samantha would've
been in the lobby having a cappucino ten minutes ago. He
has an idea. Why doesn't she share the responsibilities
with the P.R. guy he's already talking to, someone Samantha
mentally refers to as a hack. The job is big, five hotels.
Samantha counters that she knows it's a big job. That's why
she's not down in the lobby having a cappucino. Bing bang
boom. While Samantha appreciates the offer, she doesn't need
a partner. Mr. Developer wants her to read between the
lines. He deals with a lot of business... men. Ugh. Samantha
wants to know what exactly he's saying. That business men
would feel more comfortable working with a woman who stands
next to a man?! He thinks she has a lot to offer but she
should consider working with a partner that isn't so, oh
what's the word, emotional.
Over food and drink, Samantha tells the council that
emotional translates into not wanting to hire a woman.
Miranda wholeheartedly agrees. They do the same thing at
her law firm. They're afraid she's gonna cry over a legal
brief. Carrie asks if she ever has. Certainly, but in the
privacy of her own office. Charlotte cried once in ten years
at the gallery and after that everyone was paranoid. If she
even dared to question the height of a painting the staff
walked on eggshells out of fear of her possible tears.
Samantha has never cried at work. Carrie fake-cried to her
editor one time when she missed a deadline. She blamed it on
personal problems but she was really in the Hamptons.
Miranda thinks that makes women look bad. Carrie says, "Oh
boo hoo it was 80 degrees and sunny." Samantha states that
if a man gets angry at a meeting, he's a pistol. A woman
does and she's emotional. Samantha wonders, "What's he think
I'm gonna do? Get my period and ruin his empire!?"
Miranda starts to accuse all men but then corrects
herself, some men are threatened by strong business women so
they have to belittle them by accusing them of being too
emotional. Samantha decides that she's, "going back in there
guns blazing. Cool, calm, collected. I'm going to impress
that arrogant motherfucker so much he's gonna beg me to take
the job." Charlotte warns her to not to cry. Carrie bails
out of the lunch to catch a ride with Aidan back up to the cabin.
Once there, she sits on the couch reading a magazine that
has Big's Willow on the cover while Aidan tears down the
shed. The phone rings and it's Big. He's a mess and we've
never seen him this way. Here's the conversation verbatim:
Big: Hey. S'me.
Carrie: What's the matter you sound terrible?
Big: I hope you don't mind my calling. I got the
number off your machine. Where's area code 845?
Carrie: Upstate. We're in the country.
Big: On a Thursday?
Carrie: We're taking a long weekend. What's wrong?
Big: She broke it off. She said she never wants to
see me again.
Carrie: Oh. I'm so sorry.
Big: I don't even know what I did. She won't return
my calls. See, see she can reach me, but I can't get her.
Carrie: You mentioned that. Well she's crazy I'm
telling ya, she has the eyes of a crazy person.
Big: Man I was such a chump! I really put myself out
there and she, she drop kicked me right in the FUCKING HEART!
Big: When are you coming back to the city?
Big: Not 'til Monday?
Carrie: Well. I, I'd invite you out here but it's
just to far away.
Big: How far?
Carrie: Forty minutes ya know if there's no traffic
but with the weekenders and everything I don't know an hour
maybe even two.
Big: It's Thursday afternoon.
Carrie: Yeah, don't you have to work?
Big: I have to see you. I'll get my Jag outta the
garage. The drive will do me good.
Carrie: (Biting her lip, looking around nervously.)
Big: I'll come up for an hour, we'll talk and I'll
Carrie: Uh huh.
Big: How do I get there? Lemme get a pen.
So this is how it happened. I'm dumfounded. Carrie goes
out onto the porch to look for Aidan. He heard the phone
ring and she's not forthcoming at first but Aidan wants to
know who it was. It was Batman (Dammit! No name again.) and
she invited him up. She didn't mean to, she just got
trapped. That crazy movie lady person broke up with him,
he's devastated, he has no one else to talk to and before
she knew it she was giving him directions. Aidan (fine
acting here) leans in and seethes, "I don't want him in my
house." Carrie totally understands and confirms that he's
gonna come up, they'll have a quick talk and he'll go right
back to the city where he belongs. Bullshit time. All Aidan
can say is fuck which prompts Carrie to hug him and proclaim
her love and that he's her man. Blech. She refers to Big as
just a friend in pain. Aidan breaks away from her cloying
embrace. Carrie claims that she'd never do this (yet she
did) and has the unmitigated audacity to ask him to
understand, hasn't he ever had his heart broken by a girl?
Aidan points his eyes directly at her. Is she missing major
parts of her brain? Is that it? Have I been shredding and
hating a dullard all this time!? Thunder claps and it starts
to rain. Aidan finally gives up and says, " Well he better
be fucking upset when he gets here. There better be tears."
Carrie thanks him. Aidan shakes his head, calls Pete and
goes into the cabin. He tells her that he thinks Big's got
some serious balls for coming up there and Carrie turns her
head away. Correction Aidan, how about your manipulative,
bullshit girlfriend has some serious balls for inviting him
up in the first place! Oh but she didn't invite him, she
just MENTIONED that she'd invite him up if it weren't so far
away. She's innocent, so blameless and everything simply
happens to her, she doesn't do a God damned thing.
Miranda and Steve watch the pseudo-ball that's displayed
before them pinched between the doctor's thumb and
forefinger. It's a nice translucent little egg. He wants
them both to squeeze it. Miranda pinches too hard and drops
the ball. It comes in extra small, small, medium and large.
Steve asks and Miranda suggests medium. Steve thought he
was a large. The doctor informs them that Steve has to
enroll in a clinical trial in order to get this ball job.
Miranda adamantly tells him no. The doctor assures them that
it's perfectly safe and Steve believes him but Miranda's not
having it. She convinces him to move on.
"And in a different neurologist's office at exactly the
same time," Trey sits holding a cup in his shirt, tie and
socks. A knock on the door brings Charlotte into the room.
Trey asked the nurse to get her. He's afraid that their old
problem has reared it's ugly head, he can't rise to the
occasion. Charlotte doesn't want to assume that it's the
same problem and whips out a copy of "Juggs" magazine. She
knows how much he likes them and Trey interprets that as
Charlotte knowing that he'd have a problem. No, she just
came prepared. She opens the rag and points out some big
boobs. Trey isn't moved. Charlotte tries another page
exclaiming that it's the big boobs bonanza issue! Nope,
nothing. Trey says that it's not the magazine or the big
boobs. He's afraid of having another problem in that area.
Charlotte confidently moves in and starts to touch and kiss
him. She's sure that he has very strong, Scottish sperm. Uh
oh, something's happening. Trey asks her to do that thing
that he likes, give a little tug and within like two of
them, he scrambles to find the cup. Charlotte is such a trooper.
Samantha gets swallowed by the big red leather chair
again as the developer plays with those silver balls that
Laurence Fishburne played with in "Boys in the Hood." He
tells her that she's more than qualified but he's not gonna
hire her. Samantha wants one legitimate reason why not. He
wants to know if he really has to say it. Actually yes,
Samantha wants to hear the words come out of his mouth.
Okay, it's because she slept with his architect. Doh!
Woopsy, she's not getting the job because she's a woman,
she's not getting the job because she's a sexual woman!?
Egads. He doesn't want to get into all that. Samantha wants
to know all of what, it was like a hundred years ago and she
barely knew the guy. Samantha catches herself as Mr.
Self-Appointed Elitist Fuckhead smiles pseudo-knowingly.
Samantha wants to know how her personal life affects his
business. He feels that the more accurate question is how
her personal life affects her business. It's too bad, he
claims, because other than that she had the job. Samantha
grabs her bag and prepares to leave. She says, "You know
what? If I was a guy, you'd have shaken my hand, bought me
a scotch and given me a key to an office. It's amazing. A
man with such innovative vision could be so short sited,"
and she's off. Samantha storms out toward the elevator.
Mr. Man shouts for her to wait but she can't. The tears are
coming and she needs to get the hell outta Dodge before they
do. Truth be told, I know how she feels. I don't
understand it but tears tend to well up in confrontational,
anger-driven situations when I need to do something
self-righteous. Maybe they're tears from finally busting
through the oppression even if only for a moment. I can tell
you that they're most definitely not from sadness.
Samantha wrestles with the elevator button and thankfully
the doors open. She slides in sucking it up until the doors
close and the dam breaks. The next day the developer calls
to give her the job based on the size of her huge balls.
Two hours later, Carrie's still waiting by the window for
Big to show up. She secretly hopes that he's lost. And
that's when the "Batmobile" pulls up. Aidan joins her at the
window and Big just honks the horn, it's raining outside.
Aidan wonders if he doesn't want to come in to meet her Dad.
Big sits in the car smoking while listening to "New York
State of Mind." Salt in the wounds or what? Carrie runs out
to join him. She wants to know what he's doing and he says
that he's waiting for her. She wants him to come inside.
Big sheepishly eyes the cabin and tells her that he'd rather
go have a drink. Carrie reminds him that there's nothing
out there. Carrie gets him to turn off the car and Big asks
if "he's" in there. Carrie emphatically says yes. Big can't
talk about this in front of Aidan. Carrie says that he can
and he better. Big rolls his eyes and in they go.
"An hour and two bottles of red wine later," the three of
them sit at the dinner table. Can I just say WOW! WOW that
this is actually happening. I'd love to have been on set to
see the reality between John Corbett and Chris Noth. Love,
love LOVE IT! Big's wasted and reading the article about his
lost Willow in Carrie's magazine. He talks to himself while
responding to quips in the article. Aidan just glares.
Carrie tries to get the magazine away from him so Big tries
to light up a smoke. No smoking in the house and he says,
"That's cool." Aidan is in pure guarded body language mode;
arms crossed, head tilted while he tries to size up the
enemy. Big decides that it's time for him to head back.
Like I said, he's wasted and can hardly get up from the
table. He thanks Aidan and stumbles around. Carrie tells
Aidan that he can't drive which propels Aidan into the other
room. Big asks Carrie to call his driver but she reminds him
that they're an hour outside of New York. Carrie tells him
that he has to sleep on the couch. Big figures he better
not because "he" doesn't want him there. Aidan comes back
into the room and tells him that he can't drive and to sleep
on the couch. He then throws a blanket and pillow at him.
Big has an unlit smoke hanging from his luscious lips, his
hair is all over the place and now he's covered with bed
gear. He says, "That's cool." Carrie just glares at him.
"After the ball meeting," Miranda has Steve over to her
place and tries to give him a positive healing book. Steve
just mopes. Miranda confesses that she's starting to hit
her limit. Steve understands but he was really counting on
that fake ball. Every time he looks down there he wonders
who's gonna fuck a uniball bartender. Finally Miranda gets
it. She unzips his pants, looks up confidently into his
eyes and pulls him down on the bed.
Next morning back at the farm, Carrie pours coffee while
Big still sleeps on the couch. Suddenly there's a loud
pounding noise outside. It's Aidan playing hoops or more
succinctly, slamming the ball against the wall to prevent
any possibility of any more sleep. Carrie gets all pensive
and sits down. Big awakes with a mofo of a hang over
wondering what all that pounding is. Carrie clarifies that
it's Aidan shooting hoops and Big wonders if it's maybe a
tad too early for that. Carrie tells him that he has to go
out there and make friends with Aidan. Big gets up and
wants to know what she's talking about. They're middle-aged
men. They have nothing to talk about and nothing in common.
He sips the coffee she's poured him while Carrie reminds him
that they have her in common and he better make nice if he
wants to be in her life. I don't know how she does this.
She's worthless. Well except for being cute, well-dressed,
selfish, ready to bail at any given moment and a sexpert. Is
that all there is? If I looked like her and had the fundage
to maintain it I could be a complete and total asshole
social retard and all the boys would wanna come out and play?!
Big asks her how to do it. Carrie tells him that they're
both guys and there's a ball, figure it out. Oh gee thanks.
Stiff upper lipped, Big goes outside. He's hurting big time
from all the wine. He says hey to Aidan and apologizes for
last night, he guesses he got a little drunk and he didn't
mean to come up and ruin his weekend. Aidan glances over at
him and never stops pounding the ball against the side of
the house. Big asks him for the ball, he plays hoop a
little. Aidan bounces the ball into the freshly minted mud
and throws it at Big who catches it right in the middle of
his chest. Mud glops off his shirt. He fake laughs and
comments on all the rain making the ball a little muddy.
Big shoots and scores. Aidan grabs the ball, bounces it
into the mud again and this time WAILS it into the same spot
on Big's chest. Big nicely tells him to watch it, that was a
little hard. Aidan says that wasn't so hard. Big wails the
ball at Aidan who wails it back to him and one more time
back to Aidan. He drops the ball and they fly at each
other. Pushing and shoving until they hit the mud. Back
inside, Carrie sits playing solitaire. When she hears Pete
barking and the boys grunting she goes to the window.
That's right bitch! Get up off your perfect ass and go look
at what you've created!
Carrie runs outside to break it up. By now they're
covered in mud. They never quite throw a punch, just rastle
around trying to pin each other. Carrie screams for them to
stop it, they're middle-aged men! Just then, Pete bites Big
and he screams, "That dog just bit my ass!" Surprisingly,
Aidan calls Pete off and the fight is over. As I'm writing
this now, the tape is paused on a telling frame. The back
of Big's head pointed at Carrie's legs. That's what this
whole mess is all about.
All showered up and eating breakfast, Big and Aidan truly
communicate. Carrie sits reading a magazine on the other
side of the table. Big feeds Aidan the now infamous line,
"The thing is, she can reach me but I could never get her."
Carrie rolls her eyes and Aidan totally gets it and that
makes Carrie wonder. She narrates that she guesses that men
and women don't live in the same zip code but they're
Personally, I admire how they handled it. I don't think
either one of them knew that they'd end up enjoying each
other's company but what a wonderful way to deal with the
sitch; get it out, get it over and see what the rubble
Patty Opinion: She called after the previews
rolled. She and I both agree that we'd never have let Big
anywhere near that cabin although we're interested at the
overall outcome. But Patty pointed out that she doesn't
know any men like them and neither do I.
Samantha: These are guys, they don't talk, they
fight. They can't help it. It's all that crazy
testosterone, God bless it.
Samantha on not getting hired because she's a
woman: What does he think I'm gonna do? Get my period
and ruin his empire?!
Steve on getting a replacement ball that's still in
clinical trials: He says it's perfectly safe.
Miranda: That's what they said about the Ford Pinto.
Think about it Steve, you want a Pinto near your penis?